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“What’s troubling you?” Steve asked.
“Don’t be offended.”
“Of course not.”
“How do I turn around a victim without me appearing
to be that annoying ‘positive thinker’?”
“You don’t have to come off as an annoying positive
thinker to be a true leader. Just be realistic, honest, and
upbeat. Focus on opportunities and possibilities. Focus
on the true and realistic upside. Don’t gossip or run down
other people. There is no reliable trick that always works,
but in our experience, when you are a really strong ex-
ample of ownership, and you clearly acknowledge it and
reward it and notice it in other people (especially in meet-
ings, where victims can hear you doing it), it gets harder
and harder for people to play victim in that setting. Re-
member that being a victim is essentially a racket. It is a
manipulation. You don’t have to pretend that it’s a valid
point of view intellectually, because it is not.”
“Okay, I see. That sounds doable,” Marcus said. “But
there’s one new employee I’m thinking about. He started
out great for a few months, but now he seems so lost and
feels betrayed. That’s his demeanor, anyway. How do I
instill a sense of ownership in him?”
“You really can’t ‘instill’ it,” said Steve. “Not directly.
Ownership, by its nature, is grown by the owner of the
ownership. But you can encourage it, and nourish it when
you see it. You can nurture it and reward it. You can even
celebrate it. If you do all those things, it will appear. Like
a flower in your garden. You don’t make the flower grow,
but if you do certain things, it will appear.”
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