100 Ways to Motivate Others : How Great Leaders Can Produce Insane Results Without Driving People Crazy

the notes to reach the magic in the players.
—Blaine Lee, Management Consultant
Managers make a big mistake when they get bossy. It
is a sure sign of insecurity when you push the point that
you’re the boss.
You can be decisive and courageous, and hold people
accountable without ever being pushy and bossy about it.
Dee Hock, founder and CEO emeritus of VISA
International, put it this way: “Control is not leadership;
management is not leadership; leadership is leadership is
leadership. If you seek to lead, invest at least 50 percent
of your time leading yourself—your own purpose, eth-
ics, principles, motivation, conduct. Invest at least 20
percent leading those with authority over you and 15 per-
cent leading your peers. If you don’t understand that you
work for your mislabeled ‘subordinates,’ then you know
nothing of leadership. You know only tyranny.”
Those are strong words for the bossy. But the bossy
are clueless about human nature, especially in these times.
All of our people are thinkers. They aren’t just robots.
The old style of militaristic leadership is no longer appro-
priate. It’s no longer leadership.
Today’s leaders find the magic in their players.
Learn What Leadership Is Not

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/ 100 Ways to Motivate Others
65. Hear Your People Out
I have more fun, and enjoy more financial success,
when I stop trying to get what I want and start
helping other people get what they want.
—Spencer Johnson, Business Author
How would we know what kind of a leader you are?
There is one very fast way: We would ask the people
who follow you. They know. And what they say is true.
You are who 
they say
you are.
So listen to them! Understand them. People are highly
motivated by listeners, listeners like you “who get” what
their problems are. Always be mindful.
In the words of Thich Nhat Hanh:
When we are mindful, we notice that another
person suffers. If one person suffers, that per-
son needs to talk to someone in order to get
relief. We have to offer our presence, and we
have to listen deeply to the other person who is
suffering. That is the practice of love—deep lis-
tening. But if we are full of anger, irritation, and
prejudices, we don’t have the capacity to listen
deeply to the people we love. If people we love
cannot communicate with us, then they will suf-
fer more. Learning how to listen deeply is our
responsibility. We are motivated by the desire
to relieve suffering. That is why we listen. We
need to listen with all our heart, without inten-
tion to judge, condemn, or criticize. And if we
listen in that way for one hour, we are practicing

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true love. We don’t have to say anything; we
just need to listen.
To help your people get what they want, be mindful of
them and listen to them until you find out what they really
want. Then, make their goals fit inside the team objec-
tives. Show them the link. That’s how long-lasting motiva-
tion finally happens.
66. Play It Lightly
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. Then
you develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it.
—Elaine Agather, CEO, JPMorgan Bank
The most motivated people we work with are not tak-
ing themselves all that seriously.
The ones who struggle the most view the company’s
next success as their own mortgage payment or what holds
their marriage together.
The managers who are the most creative, productive,
and innovative see business as a chess game, played for
fun and challenge. They conceive of all kinds of lovely
moves and counterstrategies. And when they “lose,” they
just set up the pieces again even more excitedly.
The worst failures and most miserable people at work
are the ones who take everything too seriously. They are grim,
discouraged, and bitter. They use only 10 percent of their
brains all day. Their brains, once so huge in childhood, are
now hardened and contracted into resentment and worry.