detailed, and precise as possible.
Incorrect:
Most athletes, such as those who play for organizations like the
NCAA or colleges, do not earn enough money, which is
terrible because they deserve to earn more for their hard work
due to the fact that colleges take advantage of the sports these
athletes pay by earning profits.
Correct:
NCAA athletes should be given payment that is commensurate to
their efforts because they are generating revenue for
universities by putting their bodies and health on the line.
Too obvious or basic:
It is expected that your writing should mature as you
move through school. Hence, an obvious or basic thesis statement is not
accepted.
Incorrect:
In this paper, I will be discussing the importance of getting
enough sleep every day.
Correct:
Getting adequate sleep is good for your health as it helps your
body recover quickly and have enough energy required for
optimal performance in your daily tasks.
Lack of purpose:
Your thesis statement should
be addressing a particular
thing. It should not just be a random cluster of words.
Incorrect:
As far as I am concerned, these blue socks are the prettiest ones
in the drawer.
Correct:
Students should be given the liberty to express themselves as
unique individuals by selecting any type of socks and shoes
they want to wear to school.
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