A masterpiece of translations

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Yes, I love you! Stop now!
Boy:
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Now hug me tight and close your eyes!
The girl did what the boy said. After some time, the young man spoke to the 
girl again:
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Take off my head and put it on yourself! It's interrupting me...
The next day, an article appeared in the newspapers:
The motorcycle lost control and crashed near a four-story building. One of the 
two people on the motorcycle survived the accident.
The incident happened like this: Halfway there, the boy realized that the 
brake of the motorcycle had failed. He begged his lover to tell him that she loved 
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him one last time. In exchange for his life, he forced the girl to wear a helmet on 
her head to save herself from death.
"The Call"
- Hello there...
- Hello... It's me...
- Yes, what do you want at this time?
- Just how are you? 
- Hey, are you calling to ask this, do you know what time it is?
- I know, my dear child, it's been 3...
- If you know, was it necessary to call in the middle of the night and disturb 
you? I wish we could talk in the morning!
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(My mother answered with tears in her eyes:)
- Exactly 30 years ago at this hour, you also disturbed me. Happy birthday
baby...
My world, mom!
I am very happy today. Because my eight-year-old son hugged me tightly
and said:
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"You are the best mother in the world," 
I was touched by my eight years old son's confident words and said with a 
laugh:
-
How do you know that I am the best mother in the world? Do you know all
the mothers in the world? - I asked happily.
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His response surprised me, and I couldn't help but hug him tighter. “I know
my world. You are my world, mom!” he said.
Tomorrow
Seeing that the man was giving flowers to his wife, Julia fell in love. She 
looked at her husband and said sadly, "It's been a thousand years since you gave
me 
flowers."
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No, you say fifteen years, madam; after all, it's only been fifteen years since
our wedding! The man joked. 
Kissing Julia's forehead, her husband said convincingly, "Tomorrow I will 
give you the best flowers."
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However, the woman waited another fifteen years for tomorrow to come. 
Every time Norman passed by a flower shop, he said something in his mind: "One 
day, I will definitely bring a bouquet to my wife!" Well, that day is today. He
finally 
fulfilled his promise. He took away the bouquet. He is in his wife's cold grave.