have thought of me? Did you think I had been thrown
from the car? Were you looking for me? Or did you know
I had left you there all alone?
It’s the time you spent alone that night that I know
haunts us all, because we’ll never know what you went
through. What you were thinking. Who you were calling
out to. What your final minutes were like.
I can’t imagine a more painful way for your mother
and father to be forced to live out the rest of their lives.
Sometimes I wonder if that’s why Diem is here.
Maybe Diem was your way of making sure your parents
would be okay.
But in that same vein, not having Diem in my life
would mean it’s your way of punishing me. It’s okay. I
deserve it.
I plan to fight it, but I know I deserve it.
Every morning, I wake up and I silently apologize.
To you, to your parents, to Diem. Throughout the day, I
silently thank your parents for raising our daughter since
we can’t. And every night, I apologize again before I fall
asleep.
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