The Importance of Being Earnest

Jack.
You’re quite perfect, Miss Fairfax. 
Gwendolen.
Oh! I hope I am not that. It would leave no room for 
developments, and I intend to develop in many 
directions. [
Gwendolen
and 
Jack
sit down together in the corner.] 
Lady Bracknell.
I’m sorry if we are a little late, Algernon, but I was obliged 
to call on dear Lady Harbury. I hadn’t been there since her poor husband’s 
death. I never saw a woman so altered; she looks quite twenty years 
younger. And now I’ll have a cup of tea, and one of those nice cucumber 
sandwiches you promised me. 
Algernon.
Certainly, Aunt Augusta. [Goes over to tea-table.] 
Lady Bracknell.
Won’t you come and sit here, Gwendolen? 
Gwendolen.
Thanks, mamma, I’m quite comfortable where I am. 
Algernon.
[Picking up empty plate in horror.] Good heavens! Lane! Why 
are there no cucumber sandwiches? I ordered them specially. 
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Lane.
[Gravely.] There were no cucumbers in the market this morning, sir. I 
went down twice. 
Algernon.
No cucumbers! 
Lane.
No, sir. Not even for ready money. 
Algernon.
That will do, Lane, thank you. 
Lane.
Thank you, sir. [Goes out.] 
Algernon.
I am greatly distressed, Aunt Augusta, about there being no 
cucumbers, not even for ready money. 
Lady Bracknell.
It really makes no matter, Algernon. I had some crumpets 
with Lady Harbury, who seems to me to be living entirely for pleasure now. 
Algernon.
I hear her hair has turned quite gold from grief. 
Lady Bracknell.
It certainly has changed its colour. From what cause I, of 
course, cannot say. [
Algernon
crosses and hands tea.] Thank you. I’ve 
quite a treat for you to-night, Algernon. I am going to send you down with 
Mary Farquhar. She is such a nice woman, and so attentive to her 
husband. It’s delightful to watch them.