The Importance of Being Earnest

Miss Prism.
Do not speak slightingly of the three-volume novel, Cecily. I 
wrote one myself in earlier days. 
Cecily.
Did you really, Miss Prism? How wonderfully clever you are! I hope it 
did not end happily? I don’t like novels that end happily. They depress me 
so much. 
Miss Prism.
The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what 
Fiction means. 
28

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Cecily.
I suppose so. But it seems very unfair. And was your novel ever 
published? 
Miss Prism.
Alas! no. The manuscript unfortunately was 
abandoned. [
Cecily
starts.] I use the word in the sense of lost or mislaid. To 
your work, child, these speculations are profitless. 
Cecily.
[Smiling.] But I see dear Dr. Chasuble coming up through the 
garden. 
Miss Prism.
[Rising and advancing.] Dr. Chasuble! This is indeed a pleasure. 
[Enter Canon Chasuble.] 
Chasuble.
And how are we this morning? Miss Prism, you are, I trust, well? 
Cecily.
Miss Prism has just been complaining of a slight headache. I think it 
would do her so much good to have a short stroll with you in the Park, Dr. 
Chasuble. 
Miss Prism.
Cecily, I have not mentioned anything about a headache. 
Cecily.
No, dear Miss Prism, I know that, but I felt instinctively that you had 
a headache. Indeed I was thinking about that, and not about my German 
lesson, when the Rector came in. 
Chasuble.
I hope, Cecily, you are not inattentive. 
Cecily.
Oh, I am afraid I am. 
Chasuble.
That is strange. Were I fortunate enough to be Miss Prism’s 
pupil, I would hang upon her lips. [
Miss Prism
glares.] I spoke 
metaphorically.—My metaphor was drawn from bees. Ahem! Mr. 
Worthing, I suppose, has not returned from town yet?