Games People Play

Antithesis
. This is a dangerous game, and the possible antitheses are equally dangerous. Taking a 
mistress is a gamble. In the face of such stimulating competition, the wife may give up the game 
and try to initiate a normal married life, perhaps too late. On the other hand, she may use the affair, 
often with the help of a lawyer, as ammunition against the husband in a game of "Now I've Got 
You, You Son of a Bitch." The outcome is equally unpredictable if the husband undertakes 
psychotherapy and she does not. The wife's game may collapse as the husband grows stronger, 
leading to healthier adjustment; but if she is a hard player, improvement on his part may result in 
divorce. The best solution, if available, is for both parties to go into a transactional marital group, 
where the underlying advantages of the game and the basic sexual pathology can be laid bare. With 
this preparation both spouses may become interested in intensive individual psychotherapy. That 
may result in a psychological remarriage. If not, at least each of the parties may make a more 
sensible readjustment to the situation than they might have otherwise. 
The decent antithesis for the everyday form is to find another social companion. Some of the 
shrewder or more brutal antitheses are corrupt and even criminal. 
Relatives
. The converse game, "Frigid Man," is less common, but it takes much the same general 
course with some variations in detail. The final outcome depends upon the scripts of the parties 
involved. 
The crucial point of "Frigid Woman" is the terminal phase of "Uproar." Once this has run its course, 
sexual intimacy is out of the question, since both parties derive a perverse satisfaction from 
"Uproar" and have no need of further sexual excitement from each other. Hence the most important 
item in anti-"Frigid Woman" is to decline "Uproar." This leaves the wife in a state of sexual 
dissatisfaction which may be so acute that she will become more compliant. The use made of 
"Uproar" distinguishes "Frigid Woman" from "Beat Me Daddy," where "Uproar" is part of the 
foreplay; in "Frigid Woman," "Uproar" substitutes for the sex act itself. Thus in "Beat Me Daddy," 
"Uproar" is a condition of the sexual act, a kind of fetish which increases the excitement, while in 
"Frigid Woman," once "Uproar" has taken place, die episode is finished. 
42

---

An early analogue of "Frigid Woman" is played by that type of prissy little girl described by 
Dickens in Great Expectations. She comes out in her starched dress and asks the little boy to make 
her a mud pie. Then she sneers at his dirty hands and clothing and tells him how clean she is, 
ANALYSIS