George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication



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Bernard Shaw - Pygmalion

behind him, at his elbow. Judith stands timidly at the wall. The
four soldiers place themselves in a squad near her.
BURGOYNE 
(looking up and seeing Judith). Who is that
woman?
SERGEANT
. Prisoner’s wife, sir.
SWINDON 
(nervously). She begged me to allow her to be
present; and I thought—
BURGOYNE 
(completing the sentence for him ironically). You
thought it would be a pleasure for her. Quite so, quite so.
(Blandly) Give the lady a chair; and make her thoroughly
comfortable.
The sergeant fetches a chair and places it near Richard.
JUDITH
. Thank you, sir. (She sits down after an awe-stricken
curtsy to Burgoyne, which he acknowledges by a dignified bend
of his head.)
SWINDON 
(to Richard, sharply). Your name, sir?
RICHARD 
(affable, but obstinate). Come: you don’t mean
to say that you’ve brought me here without knowing who I
am?
SWINDON
. As a matter of form, sir, give your name.
RICHARD
. As a matter of form then, my name is Anthony
Anderson, Presbyterian minister in this town.
BURGOYNE 
(interested). Indeed! Pray, Mr. Anderson, what
do you gentlemen believe?
RICHARD
. I shall be happy to explain if time is allowed
me. I cannot undertake to complete your conversion in less
than a fortnight.
SWINDON 
(snubbing him). We are not here to discuss your
views.
BURGOYNE 
(with an elaborate bow to the unfortunate
Swindon). I stand rebuked.
SWINDON 
(embarrassed). Oh, not you, I as—
BURG0YNE
. Don’t mention it. (To Richard, very politely)
Any political views, Mr. Anderson?


53
GB Shaw
RICHARD
. I understand that that is just what we are here
to find out.
SWINDON 
(severely). Do you mean to deny that you are a
rebel?
RICHARD
. I am an American, sir.
SWINDON
. What do you expect me to think of that speech,
Mr. Anderson?
RICHARD
. I never expect a soldier to think, sir.
Burgoyne is boundlessly delighted by this retort, which almost
reconciles him to the loss of America.
SWINDON 
(whitening with anger). I advise you not to be
insolent, prisoner.
RICHARD
. You can’t help yourself, General. When you
make up your mind to hang a man, you put yourself at a
disadvantage with him. Why should I be civil to you? I may
as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb.
SWINDON
. You have no right to assume that the court has
made up its mind without a fair trial. And you will please
not address me as General. I am Major Swindon.
RICHARD
. A thousand pardons. I thought I had the honor
of addressing Gentlemanly Johnny.
Sensation among the officers. The sergeant has a narrow escape
from a guffaw.
BURGOYNE 
(with extreme suavity). I believe I am Gentle-
manly Johnny, sir, at your service. My more intimate friends
call me General Burgoyne. (Richard bows with perfect polite-
ness.) You will understand, sir, I hope, since you seem to be a
gentleman and a man of some spirit in spite of your calling,
that if we should have the misfortune to hang you, we shall
do so as a mere matter of political necessity and military
duty, without any personal ill-feeling.
RICHARD
. Oh, quite so. That makes all the difference in
the world, of course.
They all smile in spite of themselves: and some of the younger
officers burst out laughing.
JUDITH 
(her dread and horror deepening at every one of these

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