George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

the more sympathetic demonstrators back to her plinth, where she
resumes her seat and struggles with her emotion].
THE BYSTANDER
. He ain’t a tec. He’s a blooming busy-
body: that’s what he is. I tell you, look at his boots.
THE NOTE TAKER 
[turning on him genially] And how are
all your people down at Selsey?
THE BYSTANDER 
[suspiciously] Who told you my people
come from Selsey?
THE NOTE TAKER
. Never you mind. They did. [To the
girl] How do you come to be up so far east? You were born in
Lisson Grove.
THE FLOWER GIRL 
[appalled] Oh, what harm is there in
my leaving Lisson Grove? It wasn’t fit for a pig to live in; and
I had to pay four-and-six a week. [In tears] Oh, boo—hoo—
oo—
THE NOTE TAKER
. Live where you like; but stop that
noise.

---

13
Shaw
THE GENTLEMAN 
[to the girl] Come, come! he can’t touch
you: you have a right to live where you please.
A SARCASTIC BYSTANDER 
[thrusting himself between the
note taker and the gentleman] Park Lane, for instance. I’d like
to go into the Housing Question with you, I would.
THE FLOWER GIRL 
[subsiding into a brooding melancholy
over her basket, and talking very low-spiritedly to herself] I’m a
good girl, I am.
THE SARCASTIC BYSTANDER 
[not attending to her] Do
you know where I come from?
THE NOTE TAKER 
[promptly] Hoxton.
Titterings. Popular interest in the note taker’s performance in-
creases.
THE SARCASTIC ONE 
[amazed] Well, who said I didn’t?
Bly me! You know everything, you do.
THE FLOWER GIRL 
[still nursing her sense of injury] Ain’t
no call to meddle with me, he ain’t.
THE BYSTANDER 
[to her] Of course he ain’t. Don’t you
stand it from him. [To the note taker] See here: what call have
you to know about people what never offered to meddle with
you? Where’s your warrant?
SEVERAL BYSTANDERS 
[encouraged by this seeming point
of law] Yes: where’s your warrant?
THE FLOWER GIRL
. Let him say what he likes. I don’t
want to have no truck with him.
THE BYSTANDER
. You take us for dirt under your feet,
don’t you? Catch you taking liberties with a gentleman!
THE SARCASTIC BYSTANDER
. Yes: tell HIM where he
come from if you want to go fortune-telling.
THE NOTE TAKER
. Cheltenham, Harrow, Cambridge,
and India.
THE GENTLEMAN
. Quite right. [Great laughter. Reac-
tion in the note taker’s favor. Exclamations of He knows all
about it. Told him proper. Hear him tell the toff where he come
from? etc.]. May I ask, sir, do you do this for your living at a
music hall?
THE NOTE TAKER
. I’ve thought of that. Perhaps I shall
some day.

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14
Pygmalion
The rain has stopped; and the persons on the outside of the crowd
begin to drop off.
THE FLOWER GIRL 
[resenting the reaction] He’s no gentle-
man, he ain’t, to interfere with a poor girl.
THE DAUGHTER 
[out of patience, pushing her way rudely
to the front and displacing the gentleman, who politely retires to
the other side of the pillar] What on earth is Freddy doing? I
shall get pneumonia if I stay in this draught any longer.
THE NOTE TAKER 
[to himself, hastily making a note of her
pronunciation of “monia”] Earlscourt.
THE DAUGHTER 
[violently] Will you please keep your
impertinent remarks to yourself?
THE NOTE TAKER
. Did I say that out loud? I didn’t mean
to. I beg your pardon. Your mother’s Epsom, unmistakeably.
THE MOTHER 
[advancing between her daughter and the