George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

table and come over to claim her share of attention]. Oh! you’ve
brought someone with you. Introduce me.
LADY UTTERWORD
. Hesione, is it possible that you don’t
know me?
MRS HUSHABYE 
[conventionally]. Of course I remember
your face quite well. Where have we met?
LADY UTTERWORD
. Didn’t Papa tell you I was here? Oh!
this is really too much. [She throws herself sulkily into the big chair].
MRS HUSHABYE
. Papa!
LADY UTTERWORD
. Yes, Papa. Our papa, you unfeeling
wretch! [Rising angrily]. I’ll go straight to a hotel.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[seizing her by the shoulders]. My good-
ness gracious goodness, you don’t mean to say that you’re Addy!
LADY UTTERWORD
. I certainly am Addy; and I don’t
think I can be so changed that you would not have recog-
nized me if you had any real affection for me. And Papa
didn’t think me even worth mentioning!
MRS HUSHABYE
. What a lark! Sit down [she pushes her
back into the chair instead of kissing her, and posts herself be-
hind it]. You do look a swell. You’re much handsomer than
you used to be. You’ve made the acquaintance of Ellie, of
course. She is going to marry a perfect hog of a millionaire
for the sake of her father, who is as poor as a church mouse;
and you must help me to stop her.
ELLIE
. Oh, please, Hesione!
MRS HUSHABYE
. My pettikins, the man’s coming here
today with your father to begin persecuting you; and every-
body will see the state of the case in ten minutes; so what’s
the use of making a secret of it?

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47
GB Shaw
ELLIE
. He is not a hog, Hesione. You don’t know how won-
derfully good he was to my father, and how deeply grateful I
am to him.
MRS HUSHABYE 
[to Lady Utterword]. Her father is a very
remarkable man, Addy. His name is Mazzini Dunn. Mazzini
was a celebrity of some kind who knew Ellie’s grandparents.
They were both poets, like the Brownings; and when her
father came into the world Mazzini said, “Another soldier
born for freedom!” So they christened him Mazzini; and he
has been fighting for freedom in his quiet way ever since.
That’s why he is so poor.
ELLIE
. I am proud of his poverty.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Of course you are, pettikins. Why not
leave him in it, and marry someone you love?
LADY UTTERWORD 
[rising suddenly and explosively].
Hesione, are you going to kiss me or are you not?
MRS HUSHABYE
. What do you want to be kissed for?
LADY UTTERWORD
. I don’t want to be kissed; but I do
want you to behave properly and decently. We are sisters.
We have been separated for twenty-three years. You ought to
kiss me.
MRS HUSHABYE
. To-morrow morning, dear, before you
make up. I hate the smell of powder.
LADY UTTERWORD
. Oh! you unfeeling—[she is inter-
rupted by the return of the captain].
THE CAPTAIN 
[to Ellie]. Your room is ready. [Ellie rises].
The sheets were damp; but I have changed them [he makes
for the garden door on the port side].
LADY UTTERWORD
. Oh! What about my sheets?
THE CAPTAIN 
[halting at the door]. Take my advice: air
them: or take them off and sleep in blankets. You shall sleep
in Ariadne’s old room.
LADY UTTERWORD
. Indeed I shall do nothing of the
sort. That little hole! I am entitled to the best spare room.
THE CAPTAIN 
[continuing unmoved]. She married a numskull.
She told me she would marry anyone to get away from home.
LADT UTTERWORD
. You are pretending not to know
me on purpose. I will leave the house.