George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

ets, and walks about in his usual manner, rattling the contents
of his pockets, as if condescending to a trivial subject out of pure
kindness]. I shouldn’t bother about it if I were you. I should
imagine you won’t have much difficulty in settling yourself,
somewhere or other, though I hadn’t quite realized that you
were going away. [She looks quickly at him: he does not look at
her, but examines the dessert stand on the piano and decides
that he will eat an apple]. You might marry, you know. [He
bites a large piece out of the apple, and munches it noisily]. You
see, Eliza, all men are not confirmed old bachelors like me
and the Colonel. Most men are the marrying sort (poor dev-
ils!); and you’re not bad-looking; it’s quite a pleasure to look
at you sometimes—not now, of course, because you’re cry-
ing and looking as ugly as the very devil; but when you’re all
right and quite yourself, you’re what I should call attractive.
That is, to the people in the marrying line, you understand.
You go to bed and have a good nice rest; and then get up and
look at yourself in the glass; and you won’t feel so cheap.
Eliza again looks at him, speechless, and does not stir.
The look is quite lost on him: he eats his apple with a dreamy
expression of happiness, as it is quite a good one.
HIGGINS 
[a genial afterthought occurring to him] I daresay
my mother could find some chap or other who would do
very well—
LIZA
. We were above that at the corner of Tottenham Court
Road.
HIGGINS 
[waking up] What do you mean?
LIZA
. I sold flowers. I didn’t sell myself. Now you’ve made a
lady of me I’m not fit to sell anything else. I wish you’d left
me where you found me.

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62
Pygmalion
HIGGINS 
[slinging the core of the apple decisively into the
grate] Tosh, Eliza. Don’t you insult human relations by drag-
ging all this cant about buying and selling into it. You needn’t
marry the fellow if you don’t like him.
LIZA
. What else am I to do?
HIGGINS
. Oh, lots of things. What about your old idea of
a florist’s shop? Pickering could set you up in one: he’s lots of
money. [Chuckling] He’ll have to pay for all those togs you
have been wearing today; and that, with the hire of the
jewellery, will make a big hole in two hundred pounds. Why,
six months ago you would have thought it the millennium
to have a flower shop of your own. Come! you’ll be all right.
I must clear off to bed: I’m devilish sleepy. By the way, I
came down for something: I forget what it was.
LIZA
. Your slippers.
HIGGINS
. Oh yes, of course. You shied them at me. [He
picks them up, and is going out when she rises and speaks to
him].
LIZA
. Before you go, sir—
HIGGINS 
[dropping the slippers in his surprise at her calling
him sir] Eh?
LIZA
. Do my clothes belong to me or to Colonel Pickering?
HIGGINS 
[coming back into the room as if her question were
the very climax of unreason] What the devil use would they
be to Pickering?
LIZA
. He might want them for the next girl you pick up to
experiment on.
HIGGINS 
[shocked and hurt] Is THAT the way you feel
towards us?
LIZA
. I don’t want to hear anything more about that. All I
want to know is whether anything belongs to me. My own
clothes were burnt.
HIGGINS
. But what does it matter? Why need you start
bothering about that in the middle of the night?
LIZA
. I want to know what I may take away with me. I
don’t want to be accused of stealing.
HIGGINS 
[now deeply wounded] Stealing! You shouldn’t have
said that, Eliza. That shows a want of feeling.
LIZA
. I’m sorry. I’m only a common ignorant girl; and in
my station I have to be careful. There can’t be any feelings

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63
Shaw
between the like of you and the like of me. Please will you
tell me what belongs to me and what doesn’t?
HIGGINS 
[very sulky] You may take the whole damned
houseful if you like. Except the jewels. They’re hired. Will
that satisfy you? [He turns on his heel and is about to go in