Guide to Informed Choices
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future?
Motherhood has been described as a rite of passage. We experience what every other mother throughout all history has felt. Every mother from the beginning of time has been there. It is because they chose to undergo that rite of passage thousands of years ago that society, and we ourselves, live here today. Motherhood is what our mother did and what her mother did. It‘s the continuing chain of human and divine experience being born and one day becoming a life-giver yourself. Your mom E
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once gave it to you. You too can choose to take the torch of life, step forward and say, ‗I too will give myself for my children. I am a life giver, a sponsor of civilization. I will be the link for the chain of life to go on.‘ Sure, you might think that there are a lot of other women out there — and there are. But what if everyone said that?
Women are entrusted with the wonderful chance to be the bearers of life.
We are on Earth for a reason. I believe that our Creator gave us the power to grow life for a reason. It‘s also a gift because God gave us some creative energy of our own — so that we too can share in being a creator with God. On a practical level, it keeps the human race going. And with each power comes responsibility. If we allow our bodies to be available to conceive a new human life, we must also be accountable for it. Women are entrusted with the wonderful chance to be the bearers of life. You could look at it as a real pain or what an amazing experience to actually have a living child grow within you. It's just awesome. I think it must be the most wonderful thing to have children and then to watch them grow up and have their own children and, if you‘re lucky, witness the lives of your own great grandchildren — all because you said yes. The cycle of life continues and you have been a part of it. Will you say ‗yes‘?
has been killed by abortion
Q. What is your identity if you were born after 1973? A. A Survivor! Since that time almost 50 million unborn children have been ‗unchosen‘. 445
Have you ever thought that some people talk before thinking — like this one congresswoman who marched for abortion rights since, ―I have to march because my mother could not have an abortion.‖ 446 Right. And where would you be if she exercised those rights?
Reason # 42 ―Pay it forward — pass on the gift of life‖
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Reason #43 Do to others as you would have them do to you
Why should man expect his prayer for mercy to be heard by What is above him when he shows no mercy to what is under him?
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—Pierre Troubetzkoy, artist ou know what the Golden Rule means. Do to others as you would have them do to you. They were the teachings of our very own Jesus, and this is a very important rule. How can we expect mercy or goodness from the universe if we ourselves only put out non- mercy and selfishness? I was amazed when I found out that this concept is also a part of many of the world‘s major religions, so ancient is the idea. These sayings were researched by www.TeachingValues.com .
All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye so to them; for this is the law and the prophets.
Matthew 7:1 Confucianism Do not do to others what you would not like yourself. Then there will be no resentment against you, either in the family or in the state.
Analects 12:2 Buddhism Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.
Udana-Varga 5,1 Hinduism This is the sum of duty; do naught onto others what you would not have them do unto you.
Mahabharata 5,1517 Islam No one of you is a believer until he desires for his brother that which he desires for himself.
Sunnah
Judaism What is hateful to you, do not do to your fellowman. This is the entire Law; all the rest is commentary.
Talmud, Shabbat 3id Taoism Regard your neighbor‘s gain as your gain, and your neighbor‘s loss as your own loss.
Tai Shang Kan Yin P‘ien Zoroastrianism That nature alone is good which refrains from doing another whatsoever is not good for itself.
Dadisten-I-dinik, 94,5 448
How does this relate to abortion? Well, what you would have someone do to you if you were the little fetus? Would you want them to preserve your life? Y
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For Christians and all who respect Jesus‘ words, here is something that he had to say on the topic that we have on record:
―When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. "Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' "Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' "The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.‘ -Matthew 25:31-40 There seems to be a very clear message here. Not only should we be nice to one another just for the fun of it, but we will be judged as personally doing that to Jesus. Is not the fetus, the unborn child, a creation of God, a child of God and part of God‘s people? If whatever we do for the people of God — no matter how unimportant — we are doing for Jesus, do you want to bear the eternal responsibility for aborting Jesus? Reason #43 ―Would you like to have been aborted?‖
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Reason #44 Going against your value system might not make you happy
What are your personal beliefs about abortion? 36%: The percentage of people that personally believe abortion is not wrong. 449
—Newsweek Poll, 1998
hat are your personal beliefs about abortion? Where do you stand? In what circumstances, if any, do you believe it is right? In what circumstances, if any, do you believe it is wrong? It is important to know where you stand.
Although knowing your beliefs won‘t change what is actually ‗right‘ or ‗wrong‘ (see Reason #39 ), it will help you to act in line with what you believe. This is important in order to feel good about your choice later. I came across an abortion clinic who agrees with my line of thinking: If you make your own decision, based on your own beliefs, wants and needs, you are likely to experience relief, not guilt. 450
However, don‘t forget that your beliefs could change as you grow. Make them informed beliefs now, so you‘re less likely to regret them later. Since you‘re still holding this book in your hands I feel confident that you, dear reader, are on your way to making an informed choice. In a year from now you want to feel good about your life and your decisions. No one else will be in standing in your shoes, only you. Perhaps one thing to consider is: what are you more likely to regret — a baby or an abortion? Maybe I‘ve only met one type of woman, but I‘ve yet to meet someone who regretted having their child — but I have met women who regret aborting their child. What can you live with? What can you not live with? It‘s interesting to think about this. Hayley thought: ― How could I live with myself if I had hurt my baby from the tablets?‖ Yet it didn‘t seem she could live with herself after her abortion either — ―I HAD KILLED MY OWN BABY !
I DESERVED TO DIE FOR THIS !... I was tempted to take the whole pack of pain killers the nurse had given me and drink them down with a bottle of wine, but for some reason I didn‘t.‖ Only you can know how you feel now. If you don‘t know, listen to your heart. W
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You know in your heart what is right eep inside, you know what is right. Your heart knows. Your soul tells you. Your conscience pricks you. You have a hunch or a feeling, maybe a knowing. Some call it intuition. It‘s that ―law written in their hearts‖ (Rom. 2:14- 15), that inner instruction, that inner sense of what is right and wrong. I like to think of our conscience as God‘s internal correction instrument, like a compass really. It‘s tries to keep us going the right direction. Although we can shout above it, it won‘t be silenced; and it keeps coming up like a nagging truth until we listen. Let‘s talk now about how the abortion clinics use your conscience to promote abortion. Northland Family Planning, for example, says that: Many faiths teach that the conscience of the individual is supreme. If you carefully examine your conscience and then decide abortion is the most moral act you can do at this time, your faith may well support you.
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This is a very sneaky statement — because it is half true. It‘s true that God is within your heart and can speak to you through your conscience. However, what they are saying is, if your heart says abortion is okay, ―the most moral act,‖ then it‘s okay. Now if it‘s God that you‘re listening to, then that wisdom is supreme, but what if you‘re really just listening to your fears and wants? My problem with it is that it‘s just another way to get religious- type people to consent to an abortion. Coming up next, women who knew what was right, but didn‘t do it.
―It was my choice. It was legal, but in my spirit I knew it was wrong!‖
Maria knew it wasn‘t right but was paralyzed by fear: I knew it wasn't right but was too scared to know what to do. I was so frightened that while I was waiting I passed out. I should've taken that as a sign and left, but went through with it anyway.
Sheila knew in her spirit it was wrong: In spite of the fact that it was a legal, medical procedure, I knew the truth about what I was doing. I had a choice and I also knew that this choice was wrong. I had always spoken against it and never dreamed I would find myself in this situation, going against everything I said I believed in… I listened to others in my condition talk as if it was no big deal, but I knew better. I D
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couldn‘t even claim ignorance as some — I knew that what I carried inside me was a baby, nothing less — a human being with all the potential God had given for its life. I had options available. They would have been difficult at the time, but down the road I would have saved myself years of heartache over the choice I ultimately made… It was my choice. It was legal, but in my spirit I knew it was wrong!
Becky said that wasn‘t anything that felt okay: Before the abortion, as I laid there on the table, I prayed to God, this Almighty and Holy God that I did not know and said, ―Lord, please forgive me for what I‘m about to do.‖ What is it that caused me to cry out and ask for forgiveness? The answer to that question is because of the very nature of abortion: in utero murder. There isn‘t anything that feels okay about abortion. It goes against the grain of your moral fiber…
It was this feeling that Mother Teresa spoke of when she said, ―I am sure that all people know deep down inside that the little child in the mother's womb is a human being from the moment of conception, created in the image of God to love and be loved.‖ 452 I believe, with Mother Teresa, that deep down, all of us know — and for some of us this may be deeper than others — that the unborn child is living, human, worthy, in God‘s image. Why is it buried deeper for some than others? Mother Teresa also said: ―Abortion is a crime that kills not only the child but the consciences of all involved.‖ 453 Many
women say, ―I knew in my heart this was a baby‖ and yet they abort anyhow. (See Reason #27: Women know that abortion kills a baby . ) What happens when you believe one thing but do another?
Going against what you know could hurt you o go against what you believe in your heart, you have to shut off to a certain degree. You close down. You tune out. It‘s just too hard to be fully present in the very moment when you are going against what you believe in the deepest core of your being. Jesus once said that a house divided cannot stand (Lk. 11:17). Likewise, a person divided amongst themselves is likely to be mentally and emotionally fractured; weak, not strong; splintered, not whole. If you want to read some stories of how some women suppress their feelings or become numb after abortion, turn to Reason #51: Abortion creates secrets, suppression and denial . This is full of evidence that going against one‘s true self can cause a breakdown. My advice, like Shakespeare‘s, is, ―This above all; to thine T
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own self be true.‖ Wendy put it in more modern terms: I should have had the balls to stand up for how I felt, and I will NEVER
forgive myself for what I did. It was the worst thing I could ever do.
Tip Forgiveness and healing is possible. See the post-abortion links in the resource section
for places who can help.
Reason #44 Sacrificing your values can hurt you in the long run Reason #45 Who cares what other people think!
They protected their image, but at what cost? t‘s natural, it‘s normal, but making a decision based on protecting your public image is not the road to happiness.
Yoli thought the abortion would keep her reputation intact: I am a 51-year-old white woman. When I was about 23 years old I got pregnant. Not only was I not married, the father was a black man. I came from a strict old-world upbringing, and I thought my only option was abortion. I could not have this baby. It was unacceptable in every way. I remember being glad the father was willing to pay for the abortion, since I couldn‘t afford it. It was a fairly new relationship, the 70s, and the women‘s movement was in full throttle. With abortion recently legalized, no one would have to know. I was safe. My reputation would be intact and I was relieved. Little did I know the heartache the abortion I
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would cause me the rest of my life. Little did I know that taking that life would take mine as well.
Kelly was scared of other people finding out she had sex: I have had 2 abortions. It is a hard thing for me to admit. I was once-upon-a-time registered pro-life! I just knew growing up that I could never have an abortion — what kind of person could kill an innocent life? And that is how I viewed it and still how I view it. A life is snuffed out. I don't think it's a blob of tissue, or just some random cells; I think it is a human life. So, the question remains: how could I do this act, not once, but twice? And although it's been almost 17 years since the first one and almost 5 years since the second one, I still don't have an answer. I know I was scared, terrified, really, of telling my parents. And scared of other people knowing that I had sex and wasn't married. Why? What is so horrible about having a child and not being married? Every child is a gift from God, I believe, so why was I so afraid? And why do I care what others think of me? What was I afraid of? Again, I don't know. How come I wasn't strong enough or brave enough to fight for my children instead of caving in and destroying these children?
Adena
did not want anyone in her small community to know: N OW
explanations and excuses for the actions that led up to getting pregnant and to the abortion: I could tell you that it was the first time I ever had sex and that I was madly in love… and that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with Bob, who by the way, was 17 years old. I could tell you that I was too afraid to tell my parents that I was pregnant. I couldn‘t bear the thought of them knowing what I had done, besides the fact that it would be such an embarrassment for our family in our small community. What would people say or think, what would my friends think, not to mention my reputation at school (if I would be able to even finish school). I couldn‘t bring such shame on myself or my family. What it really came down to is: I couldn‘t let anyone else know. N OPE
, no one could know! Like C AIN with A
BEL , I knew I had sinned and I was on a path to cover it up and pretend it never happened. ―I WAS BEING DECEIVED WITH EVERY SELFISH THOUGHT AND STEP .‖
Rhonda
was afraid of what her parents and church would say: I knew that abortion was wrong but I was so engulfed with fear. What would my parents say? What would my Church say?
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