Guide to Informed Choices
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because of the pain that this has done to her. Jennifer copes by sedating herself and letting anyone abuse her. The death of my daughter, by any means, not only hurt me but her as well. I just needed to get this message out; maybe not one person will read it or listen but it had to be told. I still pray to God every day, something I never did before — not just for my baby girl, but for the woman who killed her, as well as me. 1124
Spare a thought for guys Men are seen as the villains and unworthy of help, so people don't even consider it; because they would rather just see them as bad people rather than people in need of help. It's easier and more self-justifying that way.
—Scott Miller , unpublished interview
y heart goes out to all those guys who stood by their girl, but felt helpless to save their son or daughter from certain death. That‘s got to really hurt. You see, it‘s kind of ingrained in the deepest part of a man, that idea of protecting those you love. When you can‘t do that you feel helpless…just like this guy: ―I just felt I couldn‘t do anything [to] protect my baby and I am not sure that I will ever be able to feel that I can protect M
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any of my children again.‖ 1125
And this guy: ―What kind of man doesn't protect the innocent? I believe this was the final thing that broke up our family.‖ 1126
can turn into a breakdown of the relationship. After all, how can you stay committed and in love when someone has just killed a deep part of you and you get to stand by and watch? (For more on relationships and abortion see
Reason #75: Abortion may change your, relationships )
Today, we are just beginning to discover that guys can also need help after an abortion. Even a pro-choice site admits as much.
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Post abortion for men? Try www.fatherhoodforever.org
Reason #83 ―Guys are affected by the abortion decision also‖ Reason #84 Real feminists won‘t ask you to kill your own child
Feminists in history Sweeter even than to have had the joy of caring for children of my own has it been to me to help bring about a better state of things for mothers generally, so their unborn little ones could not be willed away from them. 1128
he early feminists of the 1800s were active in many types of social reforms. From the anti-slavery, movements to
temperance (alcohol) movements and suffrage movements (the right of women to vote), these Christian women did not lobby for abortion; in fact, they were unanimously and strongly opposed to it. 1129
Let‘s look at what the original feminist had to say on the topic of abortion.
Sarah Norton (1808-1877): "Child murderers practice their profession without let or hindrance, and open infant T
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butcheries unquestioned... Is there no remedy for all this ante-natal child murder?... Perhaps there will come a time when... an unmarried mother will not be despised because of her motherhood... and when the right of the unborn to be born will not be denied or interfered with." 1130
Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815-1902): "When we consider that women are treated as property, it is degrading to women that we should treat our children as property to be disposed of as we see fit." 1131
Susan B. Anthony (1820-1906): "Guilty? Yes. No matter what the motive, love of ease, or a desire to save from suffering the unborn innocent, the woman is awfully guilty who commits the deed. It will burden her conscience in life, it will burden her soul in death; But oh, thrice guilty is he who drove her to the desperation which impelled her to the crime!" 1132
Matilda Joslyn Gage (1826-1898): ―I hesitate not to assert that most of this crime of child murder, abortion, infanticide, lies at the door of the male sex." 1133
Emma Goldman (1869-1940): "The custom of procuring abortions has reached such appalling proportions in America as to be beyond belief... So great is the misery of the working classes that seventeen abortions are committed in every one hundred pregnancies." 1134
Victoria Woodhull (1883-1927): "Every woman knows that if she were free, she would never bear an unwished-for child, nor think of murdering one before its birth."
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Eliza Bisbee Duffey (1800s): ―After a child is, no one has a right to tamper with its existence… Yet women have been taught to look lightly on this offence, and to consider it perfectly justifiable up to the period of quickening . ‖
Alice Paul (1885-1977): ―Abortion is just another way of exploiting women.‖ 1137
Abortion, a sexual license for irresponsible men The abortion license has not brought freedom and security to women. Rather, it has ushered in a new era of irresponsibility toward women and children, one that now begins before birth. 1138
—Robert Casey, politician
hile abortion is touted as being the savior of women, some see it as nothing less than trouble for women. You see, abortion-on-demand does nothing to reduce the idea that W
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women are available for short term, casual relationships, with
no long-term commitment needed. Where in the past a baby was a very visible reminder of the relationship, today men can use women and be excused very cheaply by the handing over — if she‘s lucky — of just one abortion payment. Abortion contributes to society‘s image of women as sex objects, because there are no longer any permanent consequences when guys engage in casual sex. Men can dart in and out of relationships, even in marriage, and simply pay for her abortion and he is ―off the hook/‖ Meanwhile, she is left with the physical or emotional scars of an abortion, which can sometimes be pretty devastating. Abortion has given men an excuse for their actions. No longer does he feel obligated to support his pregnant girlfriend who decides to carry the baby to term — after all, he suggested an abortion. Where a lifetime marriage or child support was once a hefty price to consider, men do not have to think so deeply about a casual fling with a pretty girl they meet. I find it interesting that several polls have consistently shown women to be more pro-life than men. 1139 In other words, men are more pro-choice than women! Now why would that be, I wonder? This is actually what one fellow wrote, ―So I'm here to convince dudes all over this great country how our best interests are at stake as well.‖ Well, I‘d like to know how a guy would benefit from abortion. Amongst the reasons he actually recommended that men support abortions:
―An empowered woman is a limber woman.‖
―Fewer unwanted children mean less congestion at sports bars.‖
Huggie runs.‖
―Child support is not tax deductible.‖ 1140
The gist is, more abortion = more women available for men. Abortion came as part of the parcel of the sexual revolution. It was expected that ―To experience sexual freedom, women must have the absolute assurance that they will not be required to bear children.‖ 1141
the gender differences out of sex, so that women can be free to enjoy casual and unthinking sex with the same blasé attitude that has traditionally characterized lesser men. Whether women get anything out of it long term is another question, but in any case the results are clear for men. By taking the possibility of child- bearing out of sex, we can be assured of a steady stream of men who will delight in their new sexual freedom. They have been freed of the last responsibility of sex.
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―R EAL
F EMINISTS
don‘t kill their children for anybody or any reason.‖ —Pro-life action card, Life Dynamics
Abortion is contrary to feminist principles eminism is concerned with war and violence, but how often do we hear talk of the cruelty or injustice of abortion upon unborn babies? How often do we hear about the violence perpetrated against women physically or psycho- logically by coerced abortions? Then what about equality, another feminist ideal? All people, in whatever stage of human life, whatever condition or circumstance deserve to be treated equally. If we want to stand for the rights of every female, then we should include unbirthed females as well. Finally, an older but still important feminist principle was property rights. Women have historically fought for the right to be seen and heard, for the right to vote, be treated fairly and not as the property of men. As women we fought passionately to end slavery. Yet now, some of us are demanding ownership of our babies — ―It‘s My Body, My Choice.‖ Doesn‘t this seem like a repeat of what we tried to get rid of in slavery? (If you think a fetus is a part of a woman‘s body, then turn to Reason #25: Abortion is about a woman's body, but... )
Pro-life feminism t‘s a mystery to me how NOT
killing a woman‘s baby is repressing her and taking away her freedom. Actually, it‘s sad. Because to get to this point these women are either uninformed, or scared or desperate. Or both. Pro-life feminism is about extending compassion and a sisterly hand to these women. Real feminists nurture and value their femininity — instead of trying to turn us into men with male values, expectations or role models. It‘s not a sin to be a mother. One modern-day feminist, Judie
Gillespie, sums up the true calling of today‘s feminists in her appeal to women — ―…we must be visible, must be vocal, must spread the message that to be feminist is to be nurturers, life-givers, justice-seekers, peacemakers. We have the responsibility of letting the world know it... true feminism is pro-life!‖ 1142
else‘s mold. You are wonderful already. Be free to be yourself and let‘s go forth to create a non-violent future for ourselves, our children and our planet!
F
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Want to find out more about pro-life feminism? Go to www.feministsforlife.org the website of the modern day Feminists for Life
―The roots and ideology of feminism do not
support abortion‖ Reason #85 There is still hope for your special needs child
The Loss of Control ne of a mother‘s worst nightmares is that something could be wrong with her baby. We all want our children to be happy and healthy and have a good future. Yet sometimes through no fault of our own things do go wrong. In that place of no control, we come to surrender the situation to God. In some cases miracles happen or doctor‘s diagnoses prove to be wrong. In other cases surgery or treatment may be possible. In still other cases, the child learns to live with the best of his or her abilities, whatever they are. Finally, in some severe situations, the pregnancy cannot be sustained and the child dies prematurely before birth. Loss of control is always scary. Karen Santorum experienced this firsthand when she discovered her unborn son had problems:
Our lives were spinning out of control. There you were — beautiful you — cradled O
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inside my womb — warm and nourished and loved. And yet, you were in trouble. I felt so helpless. 1143
The Five Possible Outcomes am of the firm belief that the future is not quite so scary when we look it in the face. Let‘s go over the five possible outcomes, as I see them. You‘ve been told by your doctor that there is probably something wrong with your baby. Now what?
1.
Hopefully, the doctor‘s wrong! Although we like to think that a doctor‘s advice is always perfect, they are human like the rest of us. Errors of judgment are possible. In some cases, parents have fully accepted the likelihood of the worst case scenario, only to give birth to a perfectly healthy child.
Be sure to check out my references for some actual examples! 1144, 1145, 1146
In the worst case, we find doctors who abort a baby only to find him perfect and healthy, but after trying to kill him they try to save him, and he dies six days after birth! 1147
More shocking, imagine doctors abort your stillborn child then you find out he was healthy and kicking all along. 1148 Yet another shocking find would be to have twins and have the doctors abort the unhealthy one, only to find that the two fetuses had switched places!
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2.
Perhaps a change has occurred mid- pregnancy. 1150, 1151, 1152 Maybe the doctor was right at the time, but the body automatically healed or a miracle occurred. Yes, I believe in miracles! Ask everyone you know to pray with you for the best possible outcome in your pregnancy.
3. Not being unrealistic either, the condition may remain. What can be done now? Surgery is being used in select hospitals to fix conditions that are life threatening but correctable. 1153 For
other conditions, it may be safer to conduct
any appropriate surgery immediately following birth when the baby‘s lungs and organs are stronger.
4. For some children, the condition may not be helped by surgery. In this case, the reality is that your life together will be forever changed. While it seems hard for us to understand, mothers who have these children say that they love them and would not swap them for the world. 1154
5. A final possibility is that the child will die in the womb or shortly afterwards. I
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This is also devastating, though perhaps in a way, relief. However, this is so different to abortion. Instead of playing God and purposely taking another life, you can know that you gave your baby the best chance at life; that you allowed him to live as long as he could and that you let him go in his own time, his appointed time. 1155, 1156
How can I handle all this? f you‘re feeling overwhelmed, don‘t be so certain it will be awful like you imagine. Two parents who both have children with Down‘s Syndrome discovered this for themselves: As Adam‘s mother I have been able to see quite clearly that he is no less beautiful for being called ugly, no less wise for appearing dull, no less precious for being seen as worthless. And neither am I. Neither are you. Neither is any of us. 1157
He is too intimate, too demanding, too funny, too eager to play; he does not fit conveniently into a prefabbed holding pen for the mentally handicapped… I know that this is doable. It hasn't been easy, but it hasn't been a cross either. You stop thinking like that. 1158
Another parent, whose child didn‘t survive, still found comfort in her short life:
When the geneticist uttered the dreaded words, ―your daughter has trisomy 13,‖ and it was a diagnosis about my baby and not someone else‘s, the reality was entirely different. With the ferocity of a lioness, I wanted to love and protect this little girl, and do all that I could for her. If her existence was only to be a few more months of kicks and flutters in utero, then I wanted her to have that life for the sake of both of us. During her 80 days, our little Annie taught us our greatest lessons in life. Through her life, we experience the deepest sorrow and the most intense love. She taught us the true meaning and purpose of life and we are forever changed as a family... The ultimate irony is that this little girl who seemed so broken, flawed and seemingly without purpose or value was, in fact, perfect after all. 1159
—An anonymous mother
Finally, from parents whose son died shortly after birth, this touching tribute: Dear Elliott, today you went to be with Jesus… At your funeral we released 99 balloons, each balloon representing a day of your life. How beautiful it was to watch. How quickly they were gone. And so today we celebrate. Elliott, you are well, and although we miss you more than we could express, we‘re only separated from you by I
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our time left on earth. See you soon, Son. Mom and Dad 1160
—Excerpt from ―99 Balloons,‖ You Tube (A real tear jerker but so worth seeing!)
People may say it‘s cruel to bring an imperfect child into the world. But remember, not having an abortion is not causing a child to be born with a disability. It‘s allowing a child that already has them to live. It‘s not playing God with human life. It‘s not buying into the lie of ‗mercy killing‘. It‘s recognizing that destroying the baby doesn‘t destroy the injustice of it, it just destroys baby — and how can that be justice?
You have support ost importantly, remember that you are not alone. You will have access to other parents who have situations like yours; you will have access to support groups and Yüklə 4,63 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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