Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets By J. K. Rowling chapter one the Worst Birthday

again!” 
“Or he might have been sacked!” said Ron enthusiastically. “I mean, everyone hates him —” 
“Or maybe,” said a very cold voice right behind them, “he’s waiting to hear why you two didn’t 
arrive on the school train.” 
Harry spun around. There, his black robes rippling in a cold breeze, stood Severus Snape. He 
was a thin man with sallow skin, a hooked nose, and greasy, shoulder-length black hair, and at 
this moment, he was smiling in a way that told Harry he and Ron were in very deep trouble. 
“Follow me,” said Snape. 
Not daring even to look at each other, Harry and Ron followed Snape up the steps into the vast, 
echoing entrance hall, which was lit with flaming torches. A delicious smell of food was wafting 
from the Great Hall, but Snape led them away from the warmth and light, down a narrow stone 
staircase that led into the dungeons. 
“In!” he said, opening a door halfway down the cold passageway and pointing. 
They entered Snape’s office, shivering. The shadowy walls were lined with shelves of large glass 
jars, in which floated all manner of revolting things Harry didn’t really want to know the name of 
at the moment. The fireplace was dark and empty. Snape closed the door and turned to look at 
them. 
“So,” he said softly, “the train isn’t good enough for the famous Harry Potter and his faithful 
sidekick Weasley. Wanted to arrive with a bang, did we, boys?” 

---

“No, sir, it was the barrier at King’s Cross, it —” 
“Silence!” said Snape coldly. “What have you done with the car?” Ron gulped. This wasn’t the 
first time Snape had given Harry the impression of being able to read minds. But a moment later, 
he understood, as Snape unrolled today’s issue of the Evening Prophet. “You were seen,” he 
hissed, showing them the headline: FLYING FORD ANGLIA MYSTIFIES MUGGLES. He began 
to read aloud: “Two Muggles in London, convinced they saw an old car flying over the Post 
Office tower… at noon in Norfolk, Mrs. Hetty Bayliss, while hanging out her washing… Mr. 
Angus Fleet, of Peebles, reported to police… Six or seven Muggles in all. I believe your father 
works in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office?” he said, looking up at Ron and smiling still 
more nastily. “Dear, dear… his own son…” 
Harry felt as though he’d just been walloped in the stomach by one of the mad tree’s larger 
branches. If anyone found out Mr. Weasley had bewitched the car… he hadn’t thought of that…
“I noticed, in my search of the park, that considerable damage seems to have been done to a very 
valuable Whomping Willow,” Snape went on. 
“That tree did more damage to us than we —” Ron blurted out. 
“Silence!” snapped Snape again. “Most unfortunately, you are not in my House and the decision 
to expel you does not rest with me. I shall go and fetch the people who do have that happy 
power. You will wait here.” 
Harry and Ron stared at each other, white-faced. Harry didn’t feel hungry any more. He now felt 
extremely sick. He tried not to look at a large, slimy something suspended in green liquid on a 
shelf behind Snape’s desk. If Snape had gone to fetch Professor McGonagall, head of Gryffindor 
House, they were hardly any better off. She might be fairer than Snape, but she was still 
extremely strict. 
Ten minutes later, Snape returned, and sure enough it was Professor McGonagall who 
accompanied him. Harry had seen Professor McGonagall angry on several occasions, but either 
he had forgotten just how thin her mouth could go, or he had never seen her this angry before. 
She raised her wand the moment she entered; Harry and Ron both flinched, but she merely 
pointed it at the empty fireplace, where flames suddenly erupted. 
“Sit,” she said, and they both backed into chairs by the fire. 
“Explain,” she said, her glasses glinting ominously. 
Ron launched into the story, starting with the barrier at the station refusing to let them through. 
“— so we had no choice, Professor, we couldn’t get on the train.” 
“Why didn’t you send us a letter by owl? I believe you have an owl?” Professor McGonagall said 
coldly to Harry. 

---

Harry gaped at her. Now she said it, that seemed the obvious thing to have done. 
“I — I didn’t think —” 
“That,” said Professor McGonagall, “is obvious.” 
There was a knock on the office door and Snape, now looking happier than ever, opened it. 
There stood the headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. 
Harry’s whole body went numb. Dumbledore was looking unusually grave. He stared down his 
very crooked nose at them, and Harry suddenly found himself wishing he and Ron were still 
being beaten up by the Whomping Willow. 
There was a long silence. Then Dumbledore said, “Please explain why you did this.” 
It would have been better if he had shouted. Harry hated the disappointment in his voice. For 
some reason, he was unable to look Dumbledore in the eyes, and spoke instead to his knees. He 
told Dumbledore everything except that Mr. Weasley owned the bewitched car, making it sound 
as though he and Ron had happened to find a flying car parked outside the station. He knew 
Dumbledore would see through this at once, but Dumbledore asked no questions about the car. 
When Harry had finished, he merely continued to peer at them through his spectacles. 
“We’ll go and get our stuff,” said Ron in a hopeless sort of voice. 
“What are you talking about, Weasley?” barked Professor McGonagall. 
“Well, you’re expelling us, aren’t you?” said Ron. 
Harry looked quickly at Dumbledore. 
“Not today, Mr. Weasley,” said Dumbledore. “But I must impress upon both of you the 
seriousness of what you have done. I will be writing to both your families tonight. I must also 
warn you that if you do anything like this again, I will have no choice but to expel you.” 
Snape looked as though Christmas had been canceled. He cleared his throat and said, “Professor 
Dumbledore, these boys have flouted the Decree for the Restriction of Underage Wizardry, 
caused serious damage to an old and valuable tree — surely acts of this nature —” 
“It will be for Professor McGonagall to decide on these boys’ punishments, Severus,” said 
Dumbledore calmly. “They are in her House and are therefore her responsibility.” He turned to 
Professor McGonagall. “I must go back to the feast, Minerva, I’ve got to give out a few notices. 
Come, Severus, there’s a delicious-looking custard tart I want to sample —” 
Snape shot a look of pure venom at Harry and Ron as he allowed himself to be swept out of his 
office, leaving them alone with Professor McGonagall, who was still eyeing them like a wrathful 
eagle. 

---

“You’d better get along to the hospital wing, Weasley, you’re bleeding.” 
“Not much,” said Ron, hastily wiping the cut over his eye with his sleeve. 
“Professor, I wanted to watch my sister being Sorted —” 
“The Sorting Ceremony is over,” said Professor McGonagall. “Your sister is also in Gryffindor.” 
“Oh, good,” said Ron. 
“And speaking of Gryffindor —” Professor McGonagall said sharply, but Harry cut in: 
“Professor, when we took the car, term hadn’t started, so — so Gryffindor shouldn’t really have 
points taken from it — should it?” he finished, watching her anxiously. 
Professor McGonagall gave him a piercing look, but he was sure she had almost smiled. Her 
mouth looked less thin, anyway. 
“I will not take any points from Gryffindor,” she said, and Harry’s heart lightened considerably. 
“But you will both get a detention.” It was better than Harry had expected. As for Dumbledore’s 
writing to the Dursleys, that was nothing. Harry knew perfectly well they’d just be disappointed 
that the Whomping Willow hadn’t squashed him flat. 
Professor McGonagall raised her wand again and pointed it at Snape’s desk. A large plate of 
sandwiches, two silver goblets, and a jug of iced pumpkin juice appeared with a pop. 
“You will eat in here and then go straight up to your dormitory,” she said. “I must also return to 
the feast.” 
When the door had closed behind her, Ron let out a long, low whistle. 
“I thought we’d had it,” he said, grabbing a sandwich. 
“So did I,” said Harry, taking one, too. 
“Can you believe our luck, though?” said Ron thickly through a mouthful of chicken and ham. 
“Fred and George must’ve flown that car five or six times and no Muggle ever saw them.” He 
swallowed and took another huge bite. “Why couldn’t we get through the barrier?” 
Harry shrugged. “We’ll have to watch our step from now on, though,” he said, taking a grateful 
swig of pumpkin juice. “Wish we could’ve gone up to the feast…” 
“She didn’t want us showing off,” said Ron sagely. “Doesn’t want people to think it’s clever, 
arriving by flying car.” 
When they had eaten as many sandwiches as they could (the plate kept refilling itself) they rose 
and left the office, treading the familiar path to Gryffindor Tower. The castle was quiet; it 

---

seemed that the feast was over. They walked past muttering portraits and creaking suits of armor, 
and climbed narrow flights of stone stairs, until at last they reached the passage where the secret 
entrance to Gryffindor Tower was hidden, behind an oil painting of a very fat woman in a pink 
silk dress. 
“Password?” she said as they approached. 
“Er —” said Harry. 
They didn’t know the new year’s password, not having met a Gryffindor prefect yet, but help 
came almost immediately; they heard hurrying feet behind them and turned to see Hermione 
dashing toward them. 
“There you are! Where have you been? The most ridiculous rumors — someone said you’d been 
expelled for crashing a flying car!” 
“Well, we haven’t been expelled,” Harry assured her. 
“You’re not telling me you did fly here?” said Hermione, sounding almost as severe as Professor 
McGonagall. 
“Skip the lecture,” said Ron impatiently, “and tell us the new password.” 
“It’s ‘wattlebird,’” said Hermione impatiently, “but that’s not the point —” 
Her words were cut short, however, as the portrait of the fat lady swung open and there was a 
sudden storm of clapping. It looked as though the whole of Gryffindor House was still awake, 
packed into the circular common room, standing on the lopsided tables and squashy armchairs, 
waiting for them to arrive. Arms reached through the portrait hole to pull Harry and Ron inside, 
leaving Hermione to scramble in after them. 
“Brilliant!” yelled Lee Jordan. “Inspired! What an entrance! Flying a car right into the 
Whomping Willow, people’ll be talking about that one for years —” 
“Good for you,” said a fifth year Harry had never spoken to; someone was patting him on the 
back as though he’d just won a marathon; Fred and George pushed their way to the front of the 
crowd and said together, “Why couldn’t we’ve come in the car, eh?” 
Ron was scarlet in the face, grinning embarrassedly, but Harry could see one person who didn’t 
look happy at all. Percy was visible over the heads of some excited first years, and he seemed to 
be trying to get near enough to start telling them off. Harry nudged Ron in the ribs and nodded in 
Percy’s direction. Ron got the point at once. 
“Got to get upstairs — bit tired,” he said, and the two of them started pushing their way toward 
the door on the other side of the room, which led to a spiral staircase and the dormitories. 

---

“‘Night,” Harry called back to Hermione, who was wearing a scowl just like Percy’s. 
They managed to get to the other side of the common room, still having their backs slapped, and 
gained the peace of the staircase. They hurried up it, right to the top, and at last reached the door 
of their old dormitory, which now had a sign on it saying SECOND YEARS. They entered the 
familiar, circular room, with its five four-posters hung with red velvet and its high, narrow 
windows. Their trunks had been brought up for them and stood at the ends of their beds. 
Ron grinned guiltily at Harry. 
“I know I shouldn’t’ve enjoyed that or anything, but…” 
The dormitory door flew open and in came the other second year Gryffindor boys, Seamus 
Finnigan, Dean Thomas, and Neville Longbottom. 
“Unbelievable!” beamed Seamus. 
“Cool,” said Dean. 
“Amazing,” said Neville, awestruck. 
Harry couldn’t help it. He grinned, too.