Improve Your Communication Skills, 2nd Edition

Networking is the art of building and sustaining 
mutually beneficial relationships.
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.

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169 Networking: The New Conversation
What makes networking effective
Effective networking relies on three key qualities: an ‘abundance 
mentality’; generosity; and reciprocity.
Abundance
. People with a ‘scarcity mentality’ have difficulty 
sharing, because they feel that holding on to their resources – 
property, knowledge, relationships – is vital to their success. 
People with an ‘abundance mentality’ understand that human 
resources – knowledge, intelligence, imagination – produce more 
when they are shared.
An ‘abundance mentality’ needs to be cultivated. We have to work 
at it. It’s easy to slip into the scarcity mentality. Developing an 
abundance mentality means sacrificing something of our own: 
power, security, certainty. But the benefits are enormous: an 
abundance mentality can make us less fearful and more 
confident.
Scarcity and abundance
Scarcity mentality
• Victory means success at someone else’s expense.
• Someone else’s success means we have missed an 
opportunity.
• There are two ways to do it: my way, and your way. My 
way is the right way.
• Everyone is out for themselves.
Abundance mentality
• Victory means success bringing mutual benefits to all.
• The possibilities of growth and development are 
unlimited and common to all.
• There are three ways of doing it: my way, your way, and 
a better way.
• Everyone has something unique to offer.
( c) 2011 Kogan Page L imited, All Rights Reserved.

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170 Improve your Communication Skills
Generosity.
With an abundance mentality, we find it easier to 
give unconditionally. We can give attention to others; and, as we 
have seen in Chapter 4, attention is at the heart of effective 
listening. We can also give information more easily and less 
egotistically.
Reciprocity.
Reciprocity is the recognition that none of us can 
survive without the help of others. All human relationships are 
based on the idea of give and take; networking depends for its 
success critically on reciprocity. Humans seem to be ‘hard-wired’ 
for reciprocity; if I give you something, you will almost certainly 
feel obliged to offer me something in return. Because human 
achievements rely on co-operation, we need to find ways of 
trusting each other; and reciprocity provides the currency of 
trust. My gift to you demonstrates that you can trust me, and is 
an invitation to you to offer something in return, so that I can 
begin to trust you.