Introduction 2

Use active listening skills. Let the person that is upset vent his frustrations and wait to respond.[10]

• Try to focus solely on listening to the person instead of thinking about how to respond. Focus on the other person's feelings and thoughts instead of your own.

  
  

• Make summary statements and ask clarifying questions, such as, "I hear you saying that you are angry because I forgot to clean the bathroom, is that right?"

  
  

• Empathize. Try to be understanding and put yourself in the other person's shoes.

  
  

Apologize. When we make mistakes we sometimes hurt others. Saying you are sorry shows that you regret the mistake, feel bad about the harm you’ve done, and that you want to do better in the future.[11]

• Don’t give excuses or try to explain it away. Simply own up to it. Say, "I admit I forgot to clean the bathroom. I am so sorry about that."

  
  

• Be careful not to blame others. Do not say something like, "If you would have reminded me to clean it then maybe I would have remembered and done it."²¹

  
  

Commit to positive change. Expressing ways to make up for the problem and committing to working on the issues are effective ways to fix a mistake when it involves another person.

• Try to work out a solution. Ask the person what they would like you to do to make up for it. You could say, "Is there anything that I can do now?"

  
  

• Figure out how to do things differently in the future. You can ask the person, "What do you think might help me not make this mistake again?"

  
  

• Tell the person that you are willing to put in the work to reduce the likelihood of making the mistake in the future. You could say something like, "I do not want this to happen again so I will make an effort to ____." Say exactly what you will do such as, "I will make sure I write down a list of my chores so that I won't forget again."