Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It

Prospect Theory (Kahneman and Tversky), 127
psychics, 56
Raiffa, Howard, 206
rapport, 30, 47, 83, 84, 165. See also mirroring
Accommodators and, 195
based on empathy, 70
BCSM and, 97
crisis negotiations amd, 15
mirroring to build, 35
negotiation and, 46
Schilling kidnapping case and, 101
used for sales, 108
“rational actors,” 12
reciprocity, 133, 148, 160, 168, 193, 196, 206, 207
Regini, Chuck, 98
Rogers, Carl, 97
Rowling, J. K., 256
Ruby Ridge siege, Idaho, 13
Rule of Three, 177–78, 186
Rust, Kevin, 166
Sabaya, Abu, 98–105, 142–43, 144, 145
Sadat, Anwar, 133
“safe and secure,” 84, 86, 94
salary negotiations, 129–30, 135–38
“bolstering range,” 131
establishing a range, 131–32
example, Angel Prado, 136–38

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pleasant persistence on nonsalary terms, 135, 137
recruiting a mentor with a specific question, 136–37
setting success metrics, 135–36, 137
sales, 30
opening line, 86, 94
using “that’s right” and, 107–8
Schilling, Jeffrey, 96, 98–105, 140
scripts, 8, 251
for fundraising, 89–91
for negotiating getting paid, 157–58
telemarketer and, 74
Washington Redskins ticket holder script, 60–61
self-esteem, 253, 257
7-38-55 Percent Rule, 176–77, 186
silences
bargaining styles and, 194, 196, 197
closing a deal and, 189
last rule of labeling and, 56–57
pauses for active listening, 19, 103
pausing after labeling a barrier or mirroring a statement,
37, 44, 71, 72
similarity principle, 229–30, 245
Sinaceur, Marwan, 202
smiling, 46
Analysts (bargaining style) and, 194
creating positivity with, 32, 33, 46, 47
to establish rapport, 70
niceness and feigned, 74, 85, 93

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positive/playful voice and, 48
Snyder, Phillip, 113–14
Sobero, Guillermo, 140, 142, 143
Split-Second Persuasion (Dutton), 149
Start with NO (Camp), 78, 90
“strategic umbrage,” 202
St. Thomas More School, 106, 107
summaries, 20
Assertive (bargaining style) and, 196
building blocks of, 112
for implementation of a deal, 169
Negotiation One Sheet and, 254
Rule of Three and, 177
triggering a “that’s right” with, 108, 112
used for sales, 108
what a good summary is, 103
Sun Tzu, 53–54
“the supreme art of war,” 54
System 1 and 2 thinking model, 12–13
negotiation using, 13
tactical empathy, 16, 19, 50–54
accusation audit, 19
airline counter and, 70, 71
key lessons of, 71–73
labeling, 19
Washington Redskins ticket holder script, 60–61
what it is, 52
tai chi, 174

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Taleb, Nassim Nicholas, 215
telemarketers, 74–75, 86
terrorism
“Blind Sheikh,” 24
thwarted attempts, New York City, 24
“that’s right,” 98, 101–2, 112
Assertive (bargaining style) and, 196
“How” question and implementation of a deal, 169
how to trigger, 102–5, 108, 112
used for career success, 109–11
used in a price negotiation, 111
using to make a sale, 107–8
“you’re right” as ineffective, 105–7, 169
Thinking, Fast and Slow (Kahneman), 12
threats, 202, 222–23
Tiedens, Larissa, 202
time-out, 204
Trump, Donald, 221
trust
fake anger and destroying, 202
losing, 194
similarity and, 229–30, 245
Tversky, Amos, 11, 12
Tyson, Mike
Ultimatum Game, 120–23
“unbelief,” 149–50, 151
unconditional positive regard, 97, 98, 112
United Arab Emirates, 128

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University of California, Berkeley
Haas School of Business, 120
University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), 55, 176
University of Chicago, 11
Ury, William, 10–11, 252
Van Zandt, Clint, 214, 216
Vlamingh, Willem de, 215
voice tones
contract discussion and, 34
direct or assertive voice, 32–33, 48, 197
for How questions, 167–68
late-night FM DJ voice, 19, 31–33, 47, 51
matching with body language, 176
positive/playful voice, 32, 48
7-38-55 Percent Rule and, 176, 186
Voss, Brandon, 105–7, 191, 192
Washington Capitals, 231
Washington Redskins, 60
Washington Wizards, 231
Watson, Dwight, 224–28
Watts, Chris, 31–35, 37–39, 41–43, 179
Wazlawek, Abbie, 202
Weaver, Randy, 13
Wilder, Billy, 129
Williams, Robin, 123
wimp-win deal, 240, 242, 253
Winfrey, Oprah, 46

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win-win goals, 115, 253
Wiseman, Richard, 36
workplace negotiations
four step process, using mirroring, 44–46
“How” question to collect funds owed, 168
salary negotiations, 129–30, 131–32, 135–38
script for getting paid, 157–58
“that’s right” used for career success, 109–11
World Trade Center bombing (1993), 99
Yap, Ediborah, 145
“Yes”
achieving consent, 164
analyzing the entire negotiation space (the team), 170–71
commitment, 80, 81, 83, 177
confirmation, 80, 81, 177
counterfeit, 80–81, 84, 85, 177
defensiveness and, 86, 94
discomfort and, 86
“How” necessary with, 164–69, 186
Rule of Three and, 177–78, 186
using too early, 86, 94, 112
You Can Negotiate Anything (Cohen), 119
ZOPA (Zone of Possible Agreement), 8, 198, 199

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