Chapter 35: What are your standards?
“I teach people how to treat me by what I will allow.”
Stephen Covey Expect and demand more from yourself and from those around
you. If you really want to make a change in your life you have to raise your
standards. Have a zero tolerance policy for mediocrity, procrastination, and
behavior that impedes your best performance! Your standards could be, for
example, to always tell the truth, to always be punctual, to really listen to people
until they are finished, and so on. Hold yourself to high standards and - what is
of the same or even more importance - set boundaries for those around you!
Boundaries are things that people simply can’t do to you like yelling at you,
make stupid jokes around you, or disrespect you. Communicate clearly and
make it a habit to address anything that bothers you on the spot. Remember what
the proverb says: “In the right tone you can say everything, in the wrong tone
nothing, the art is to find the right tone”. Practice saying things in a neutral tone
of voice like you’d say “the sun is shining”.
If somebody is overstepping your boundaries
inform
them: “I didn’t like that
comment” or “I don’t like you talking to me in that tone”. If they go on,
request
them to stop: “I ask you to stop talking to me like this”. By now most people
should get it, but there are always one or two that continue. If that happens -
insist
: “I insist that you stop talking to me in that way.” If all three steps don’t
help –
leave!
Walk away neutrally stating “I can’t have this conversation, while
you are _______. Let’s talk later.”
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