part of the floor, and cradled his head in his arms. Without raising his
voice he began to groan. He tried to swallow the saliva that had
gathered in his mouth, but it stuck in his throat and he gagged. The
mucous lining of his throat had become hypersensitive to the presence
of the sand; he would never get used to it no matter how long he stayed
there. His saliva had become a brownish scum that oozed from the
corners of his mouth. When he had finished spitting he could feel the
harshness of the sand even more. He tried to dislodge it, running the tip
of his tongue over the inside of his mouth and repeatedly spitting, but
there was no end to it. His mouth was parched and hot, as if some
inflammation had set in.
It was no use. Anyway, he would talk to the woman and try to get her
to explain things more precisely. If the situation were clarified, perhaps
he could decide on an attack. He could not be without a plan of action.
Such a stupid situation was unbearable. But what would he do if she
would not answer? That, indeed, would be the most ominous response
of all. And there was ample possibility of it. Her stubborn silence! The
way she seemed like a defenseless victim, crouching there with her
knees drawn up under her!
The sight of her naked back was indecent and animal-like. She looked
as though she could be flipped over just by bringing his hand up her
crotch. No sooner had the thought crossed his mind than he caught his
breath, ashamed. He had the feeling it would not be long before he
would see himself as an executioner, torturing the woman, standing
over her sand-spattered buttocks. Yes, eventually it would happen. And
in that movement he would lose his right to speak.
Suddenly a piercing pain stuck his belly. His bladder, apparently
swollen to the breaking point, cried out for relief.
8
HE finished urinating and, stupefied with despair, remained standing as
he was in the heavy air. There was no hope that things would be better
as time went by. Yet he could not bring himself to go back into the
house. When he left the woman's side he realized all the more how
hazardous it was to be with her. No, he thought, the problem was not
she herself, but that crouching position. He had never seen anything
quite so indecent. It was out of the question to go back in to her. In
every way that position of hers was exceedingly dangerous.
Certain types of insects and spiders, when unexpectedly attacked, fall
into a paralytic state, a kind of epileptic seizure… an airport whose
control tower has been seized by lunatics… a fragmented picture. He
wanted to believe that his own lack of movement had stopped all
movement in the world, the way a hibernating frog abolishes winter.
As his thoughts ran on, the rays of the sun had become even more
intense. He made a sudden bending movement as if to protect himself
from the spear thrusts of light. Abruptly lowering his head, he grasped
his shirt collar and pulled with all his might. The three top buttons flew
off. Scraping away the sand that clung to his palms, he remembered
once again the words of the woman the night before—to the effect that
the sand was never dry but always moist enough to cause the gradual
disintegration of anything it touched. When he had taken off his shirt,
he loosened his belt and let the air circulate inside his trousers. But it
was nothing to make such a fuss about. The unpleasant feeling left him
as quickly as it had come. The moisture in the sand evidently lost its
magical powers as soon as it came into contact with air.
At that instant it came to him that he had made a serious mistake. His
interpretation of the woman's nakedness would seem to be too
arbitrary. Though he could not rule out some secret wish on her part to
seduce him, perhaps this nakedness was a very ordinary habit, made
necessary by the life she led. After all, she did go to bed when it got
light. Anyone is apt to perspire while asleep. Her nakedness was
perfectly normal seeing that she had to sleep during the day and, what
was more, in a bowl of burning sand. If he were in her position, he
would certainly choose to be naked too if he could.
This realization suddenly eased his feelings of tension, as if the
fluttering breeze had visibly separated the sweat from the sand on his
skin. There was no use stirring up groundless fears. Men have escaped
through any number of concrete walls and iron bars. He would not
quail simply at the sight of a padlock without finding out whether it was
locked or not. He went slowly back in the direction of the hut, dragging
his feet in the sand. This time he would be composed, and he would get
the necessary information out of her. By getting himself in such a state
and screaming at her, he could only expect her to clam up. Besides, her
silence was probably only shame at having been careless enough to be
caught sleeping naked.
9
To his eyes, recently exposed to the burning sand, the interior of the
hut lay in semi-darkness and felt cool and damp. The hot air had a
stuffy, musty smell, quite different from the outside. But suddenly he
was aware of what had to be a hallucination.
The woman was not there. For a moment he was startled. He had had
enough of guessing games. But there was no riddle to be solved. She
was
there. She stood looking down, her back toward him, in front of the
water jar by the sink.
She had finished dressing. He had no fault to find with her. The color of
her matching bluish-green kimono and work trousers gave him a sense
of mintlike freshness. Indeed, he was worrying too much. Between lack
of sleep and the strange environment, he could scarcely help but have
wild fancies.
The woman put one hand on the rim of the water jar and peered into itj
with the tip of a finger she slowly stirred the surface of the water round
and round. He vigorously swung his shirt in the air—it was heavy with
the dampness of sweat and sand—and wound it firmly around his
wrist.
She looked around apprehensively, and her features tensed. Her
solicitous manner was so natural that one would have thought she had
spent her whole life with such an expression on her face. He decided to
behave as casually as possible.
"Hot, isn't it? Heavens, you can't wear a shirt when it's this hot!"
Yet she still appeared suspicious and looked dolefully at him. She gave
a timid and artificial laugh, and spoke hesitantly.
"Yes, it really is. You'll get a sand rash right away if you leave your
clothes on when you perspire."
"A sand rash?"
"Yes. The skin festers, like after a burn, and then scales off."
"Hmm. I wonder if it really scales. It molders, I should say, with the
humidity."
"Yes… That's why…" Maybe she was beginning to relax at last, her
tongue was loosening. "When we're likely to perspire, that's why we go
around with no clothes as much as we can. After all, we live down in
these holes, so we don't really have to worry about anybody seeing us."
"Of course. Look, I don't want to put you to any trouble, but I would
like to get this shirt washed."
"Certainly, I'll be glad to. They'll be bringing our drum of water
tomorrow."
"Tomorrow? Tomorrow will be a problem," he chuckled. Actually he had
cleverly maneuvered the conversation to his subject. "Incidentally,
when in heaven's name are they going to let me out of here? I'm going
to be in a real fix. If a salaried worker like me breaks his schedule even
by a half day, he stands to lose a lot. I don't want to waste a minute.
There are a lot of coleoptera hopping around in sandy soil like this. I
wonder if you know of any. I wanted to find a new species on this
vacation."
She moved her lips faintly. But no words came out Perhaps she was
just repeating the unaccustomed name. He realized that her mind was
again closing. He went on instinctively.
"Say, I wonder if there isn't some way of getting in touch with the
villagers, like beating on a kerosene can or something."
But she made no answer. She again fell into her passive silence as
quickly as a stone sinks into water.
"What's the matter with you? Damn itl Why don't you say anything?"
Again his nerves were on edge, but he somehow stifled his desire to
shout. "I don't get it. If there's some misunderstanding, all right! There's
no use crying over spilt milk. This silence of yours is the worst thing.
My pupils are always doing that, but I tell them that the most cowardly
thing they can do is to clam up and pretend to take the blame
themselves. If there's any explanation, out with it at once."
"But…" Her eyes wavered toward her elbow, but in a surprisingly firm
voice she said: "I think you already understand."
"I understand…?" He gasped, unable to conceal his shock.
"Yes, you must have understood by now."
"But, I don't understand!" he finally shouted. "How should I
understand? You can't expect me to understand when you never say a
word, can you?"
"Well, life here is really too hard for a woman alone."
"What's that got to do with me?"
"It does have something to do with you. I'm afraid I've acted wrong
toward you."
"What do you mean, 'acted wrong'?" he said, stumbling over his words
in his eagerness. "In other words, why tne conspiracy? You baited the
trap. You thought I'd spring at once if a woman was there, like some
dog or cat."
"It's getting to be the season now when the winds come from the north
and we worry about the sand storms," she said, glancing at the wooden
door, which was standing open. There was a foolish confidence in her
quiet, monotonous voice.
"It's no joke! There's a limit to absurdity. This is illegal detention pure
and simple. A fine crime! You don't have to do such senseless things.
Any number of men out of work would be glad of the chance for daily
pay."
"Maybe. But it would make trouble if they knew outside about things
here."
"And do you people think you're safe with me? Indeed you're not!
You've made a real mistake if you think you are. I'm no tramp—
unfortunately for you. I pay my taxes, and I'm a registered resident.
There'll soon be a request out for an investigation, and then you'll see.
Don't you people even understand that? Just how do you expect to
justify yourselves? Now, go and call whoever's responsible. I'll tell him
exactly what I think about this whole stupid situation."
She lowered her eyes and sighed faintly. Her shoulders drooped, but
she made no further attempt to move; she was like a dejected, unjustly
abused puppy. Yet her attitude made him even more angry.
"What are you hesitating for? Come on, I'm not the only one
concerned. You're as much the victim as I am, aren't you? Well, aren't
you? You said yourself that if they knew on the outside about life here,
there'd be trouble. That shows you yourself recognize how
unreasonable this life of yours is. Stop being a mouthpiece; stop being
treated like a slave. Nobody has the right to keep you shut up here. Go
on and call somebody now. We're going to get out of here… Ah, so
that's it. You're afraid, aren't you? But that's foolish! What's there to be
afraid of? I'm here. And I've got friends who work for a newspaper.
We'll give the story a social angle. What's wrong? Why don't you say
something? I tell you there's nothing to be afraid of!"
After a moment the woman suddenly spoke, as if to console him.
"Shall I start fixing dinner?"
10
Out of the corner of his eye, he followed her figure as she began silently
to peel some potatoes. Should he docilely accept the food she was
preparing or not? His thoughts were completely taken up by the
problem.
Now was the time to be calm and cool. Since her intentions were clear,
it would be better to face the facts instead of shilly-shallying—better to
lay some concrete plans for escape. He could call them to account for
their unlawful treatment later. But his empty stomach weakened his
will. He could not concentrate his faculties. But if he didn't want to
recognize, officially, the predicament he was in, then he should
probably refuse all food too. It would be ludicrous to eat the meal when
he disapproved. Even a bristling dog will drop its tail as soon as it gets
a bone.
But best not jump to conclusions. As long as he did not know just how
far the woman would go, there was no need to be so passive. It was not
a question of her doing something for nothing. He would certainly pay
for his food. If he paid his money there would be no reason to feel
indebted to her—not a bit. The announcers of boxing matches on
television were always saying that attack was the best defense.
With this inspiration, he was relieved to have found a good excuse for
not refusing the food. Suddenly his mind cleared and he saw
everything. Only the sand was his enemy. Yes, that was it. There was
no particular need to pose unreasonable problems, to be broken
through like iron bars. They had taken away the rope ladder—very
well, he would make a ladder of wood. If the sand wall were too steep,
then he would make the incline more gentle by scraping away the sand.
If he would only use his head a little, it would all be easy. The plan
seemed overly simple, but as long as it fitted his purpose, the simpler it
was the better. The best solution—take Columbus and his egg—is often
ridiculously simple. If he did not mind the trouble, if he really would
fight, well, the game was not over yet.
The woman had finished peeling the potatoes; she diced them and put
them into a big iron pot over the hearth, along with a large sliced
radish, leaves and all. She carefully took a match out of a plastic bag,
and after using it she wrapped up the bag tightly again and fastened it
with a rubber band. She put rice in a sieve and poured water over it,
probably to wash away the sand. The pot began to make a bubbling
sound, and the pungent smell of radish hung in the air.
"There's some water left over. Would you like to wash your face?"
"No, I'd rather drink it than wash my face in it."
"Oh, I'm sorry, but I keep the drinking water separate." From under the
sink she took a large kettle which was swathed in plastic. "It's not very
cold, but it's been boiled, so you don't have to be afraid…"
"By the way, if you don't leave a little water in the jar, you'll be up
against it when it comes to washing up later, won't you?"
"Oh, no. I clean off the dishes just by rubbing them with sand."
As she said this, she grabbed a handful of sand by the window and
threw it into a plate she was holding. She swirled the sand around and
covered the plate, to demonstrate the actual process. He wasn't sure
whether the plate was really clean or not, but he had the feeling it
probably was. The sand in this operation, at least, conformed very well
with the idea he had had of it all along.
Again the meal was served under the umbrella. Lightly broiled fish and
the cooked vegetables. Everything was slightly gritty with sand. They
could eat together, he thought, if she would hang the umbrella from the
ceiling, but he didn't want to make an express suggestion. The coarse,
common tea was dark enough in color, but it had little taste.
When he had finished eating, the woman returned to the sink and,
putting a piece of plastic over her head, quietly began to eat her own
meal under it. She looked like some kind of insect, he thought. Did she
intend to go on living like this forever? From the outside, this place
seemed only a tiny spot of earth, but when you were at the bottom of
the hole you could see nothing but limitless sand and sky. A
monotonous existence enclosed in an eye. She had probably spent her
whole life down here, without even the memory of a comforting word
from anyone. Perhaps her heart was throbbing now like a girl's because
they had trapped him and given him to her. It was too pitiful!
He was tempted to say something to her; for the time being, however,
he decided to have a smoke, and he lit a cigarette. It would certainly
appear that plastic was a necessity of life here. He got the match to
light, but the cigarette had become unsmokable. He took strong drags
on it sucking in his cheeks between his teeth. Yet no matter how he
puffed he got only the taste of smoke, an extremely greasy smoke that
irritated his tongue; the cigarette was worse than useless. The
experience quite spoiled his frame of mind and took away any desire he
might have had to speak to the woman.
She attended to the dirty dishes, placing them on the earthen floor and
slowly heaping up sand on them. Then she said hesitantly: "I'm going
to have to begin right away getting the sand down from the ceiling."
"Getting the sand down? Oh. Well, that's all right with me." He
wondered indifferently why that should have anything to do with him
now. It didn't concern him if the beams rotted and the roof fell in.
"If I'm in your way, do you want me to move somewhere else?"
"I'm sorry, but would you mind…?"
She needn't pretend! Why didn't she show even a little of her real
feelings? In her heart she probably felt as if she had bitten into a
spoiled onion. But she was expressionless as she swiftly, with an
accustomed movement, wrapped a towel folded in two around the
lower part of her face and tied it behind her head. She put a whisk
broom and a small piece of wood under her arm, and climbed up on
the partition of the closet, which had only half a door remaining.
Abruptly, he exclaimed: "Frankly, I'm convinced we'd both feel much
better if this house fell to pieces!"
He was surprised himself at his peevish outburst, and the woman
turned and looked at him with an even more startled look. Well,
apparently she had not yet turned quite into an insect.
On he went: "No, I'm not particularly angry at you. It's the whole
business. I don't like this scheming where you people think you can put
a man in chains. Do you realize what I'm talking about? No, it doesn't
make any difference whether you do or not. I'll tell you an amusing
story. I used to keep a worthless mongrel at my boardinghouse. He had
a terribly thick coat that scarcely shed even in summer. He was such a
sorry sight that I finally decided to cut his hair. But just as I was about
to throw away the hair that had been cut off, the dog—I wonder what
could have been going on in his mind?—suddenly let out a pitiful howl,
took a bunch of hair in his mouth, and ran into his house. He probably
felt that the hair was a part of his own body and he didn't want to be
separated from it." He furtively observed the woman's expression.
However, she made no attempt to move, remaining bent over in an
unnatural position on top of the partition. "Well, let it go. Everyone has
his own philosophy that doesn't hold good for anybody else. Go on
working your fingers to the bone with your sand sweeping or whatever
else you will. But I can't stand it I've had enoughl I could get out of
here easily if I wanted to. And I've just run out of cigarettes."
"Oh… I wanted to say… about the cigarettes…" she said, awkwardly
and submissively, "when they deliver the water, later…"
"Cigarettes? Do they bring you cigarettes too?" He laughed in spite of
himself. "That's not the question. I'm talking about the tufts of hair.
Tufts of hair. Don't you understand? What I'm trying to say is that
there's no sense in such futile concern over a tuft of hair."
She was silent. She showed no sign of offering any explanation. She
waited a moment, and when it was evident he had stopped speaking,
she slowly turned as if nothing had happened and resumed her
unfinished work. She slid back the cover over the top of the closet and
crawled up, working the upper part of her body into the aperture with
her elbows and wiggling her legs clumsily. The sand began to fall in thin
rivulets here and there. He had the feeling that there was some strange
insect inside the ceiling. Sand and rotted wood. No, thank you, he had
had enough of strange things!
Then from one corner of the ceiling the sand began to pour out dizzily
in numerous tapelike streams. The strange quietness was in eerie
contrast to the violence of the flow of sand. The holes and cracks in the
ceiling boards were quickly raised in exact relief on the straw matting.
The sand burned in his nose and irritated his eyes. He fled out of the
house.
Suddenly he felt as though he were melting away from his feet upward
into a landscape of flame. But something like a perpetual shaft of ice
remained in the center of his body. He felt ashamed in some way. An
animal-like woman… thinking only in terms of today… no yesterday,
no tomorrow… with a dot for a heart. A world where people were
convinced that men could be erased like chalk maiks from a
blackboard. In his wildest dreams he could not have imagined that
such barbarism still existed anywhere in the world. Well, anyway… if
this was a sign that he was beginning to regain his composure and
recover from his initial shock, his qualms of conscience were not a bad
thing.
But he must not waste time. If possible, he would like to finish before it
got dark. Squinting, he measured the height of the sand wall quivering
behind a film of heat waves like molten glass. Every time he looked at
it, it seemed to grow higher. It would be hard to go against nature and
try to make a gentle slope abrupt—he only wanted to try to make a
steep one more gentle. There was no reason to hang back.
The best way to do it, of course, would be to shave it down gradually
from the top. Since this was impossible, he had no choice but to dig
from the bottom. First he would scoop out a suitable amount of sand
from below and wait for the sand above to cave in, then he would
scoop more out and again let the top fall in. If he repeated this again
and again, the ground level he stood on would gradually rise and
ultimately reach the top. Of course, he might also be carried away by
the flowing sand in the midst of the operation. But no matter how much
sand flowed, it still wasn't water, and he had never yet heard about
anyone being drowned in sand.
The shovel was standing with the kerosene cans against the outside
wall that went around the earthen floor. The dented edge of the shovel
gleamed white like a piece of cracked porcelain.
For some time he concentrated on digging. The sand was exceedingly
tractable, and his work appeared to be progressing. The sound of the
shovel as it bit into the sand, and his own breathing, ticked away the
time. However, at last his arms began to grow weary. He thought he
had worked for a considerable time, but his digging had apparently had
no results at all. Only a little bit of sand had fallen from right above
where he was digging. Somehow, it was working out very differently
from the simple geometric process he had evolved in his head.
Rather than worry further, he decided to take advantage of a rest period
and put his theory to the test by constructing a model of the hole.
Fortunately, materials were plentiful. He chose a spot in the shade of
the eaves and dug a hollow about a half yard wide. But the incline of
the slope did not make the angle he had anticipated; it was only forty-
five degrees at the most, about like a wide-mouthed mixing bowl. When
he tried scooping sand from the bottom, the sand flowed down the
sides, but the incline remained the same. There would appear to be a
fixed angle for sand. The weight and resistance of the grains seemed to
be in perfect balance. Supposing this were true, did the wall he was
trying to overcome have about the same degree of incline?
No, that could not be. It might be
an illusion, but it could not be true.
When you looked at any incline
from below it obviously appeared
less than it actually was.
Then, shouldn't he perhaps
consider it to be a question of quantity? The pressure would naturally
change with different amounts of sand. If the pressure changed, a
variation in the balance of weight and resistance would naturally occur.
Perhaps it depended on the nature of the sand grains. Clay that has
been packed down and clay from a natural deposit have completely
different resistance to pressure. Furthermore, he had to consider the
question of moisture. In short, another law was probably functioning,
different from the one that applied to the model he had made.
Despite his failure, the experiment was not completely in vain. The very
fact that he now realized that the slope of the wall was in what he
might call a superstable state was an important find. Generally it is not
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