The Importance of Being Earnest

Lady Bracknell.
In spite of what I hear of her, I must see her at once. Let 
her be sent for. 
Chasuble.
[Looking off.] She approaches; she is nigh. 
[Enter 
Miss Prism
hurriedly.] 
Miss Prism.
I was told you expected me in the vestry, dear Canon. I have 
been waiting for you there for an hour and three-quarters. [Catches sight 
of 
Lady Bracknell
, who has fixed her with a stony glare.
Miss Prism
grows 
pale and quails. She looks anxiously round as if desirous to escape.] 
Lady Bracknell.
[In a severe, judicial voice.] Prism! [
Miss Prism
bows her 
head in shame.] Come here, Prism! [
Miss Prism
approaches in a humble 
manner.] Prism! Where is that baby? [General 
consternation. The 
Canon
starts back in horror.
Algernon
and 
Jack
pretend 
to be anxious to shield 
Cecily
and 
Gwendolen
from hearing the details of a 
terrible public scandal.] Twenty-eight years ago, Prism, you left Lord 
Bracknell’s house, Number 104, Upper Grosvenor Street, in charge of a 
perambulator that contained a baby of the male sex. You never returned. A 
few weeks later, through the elaborate investigations of the Metropolitan 
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police, the perambulator was discovered at midnight, standing by itself in a 
remote corner of Bayswater. It contained the manuscript of a three-volume 
novel of more than usually revolting sentimentality. [
Miss Prism
starts in 
involuntary indignation.] But the baby was not there! [Every one looks 
at 
Miss Prism
.] Prism! Where is that baby? [A pause.] 
Miss Prism.
Lady Bracknell, I admit with shame that I do not know. I only 
wish I did. The plain facts of the case are these. On the morning of the day 
you mention, a day that is for ever branded on my memory, I prepared as 
usual to take the baby out in its perambulator. I had also with me a 
somewhat old, but capacious hand-bag in which I had intended to place the 
manuscript of a work of fiction that I had written during my few unoccupied 
hours. In a moment of mental abstraction, for which I never can forgive 
myself, I deposited the manuscript in the basinette, and placed the baby in 
the hand-bag.