George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

Doolittle with a poser] What else did you come for?
DOOLITTLE 
[sweetly] Well, what would a man come for?
Be human, governor.
HIGGINS 
[disarmed] Alfred: did you put her up to it?
DOOLITTLE
. So help me, Governor, I never did. I take
my Bible oath I ain’t seen the girl these two months past.
HIGGINS
. Then how did you know she was here?
DOOLITTLE 
[“most musical, most melancholy”] I’ll tell you,
Governor, if you’ll only let me get a word in. I’m willing to
tell you. I’m wanting to tell you. I’m waiting to tell you.
HIGGINS
. Pickering: this chap has a certain natural gift of
rhetoric. Observe the rhythm of his native woodnotes wild.
“I’m willing to tell you: I’m wanting to tell you: I’m waiting
to tell you.” Sentimental rhetoric! That’s the Welsh strain in
him. It also accounts for his mendacity and dishonesty.
PICKERING
. Oh, PLEASE, Higgins: I’m west country
myself. [To Doolittle] How did you know the girl was here if
you didn’t send her?
DOOLITTLE
. It was like this, Governor. The girl took a
boy in the taxi to give him a jaunt. Son of her landlady, he is.
He hung about on the chance of her giving him another ride
home. Well, she sent him back for her luggage when she
heard you was willing for her to stop here. I met the boy at
the corner of Long Acre and Endell Street.
HIGGINS
. Public house. Yes?
DOOLITTLE
. The poor man’s club, Governor: why
shouldn’t I?
PICKERING
. Do let him tell his story, Higgins.

---

35
Shaw
DOOLITTLE
. He told me what was up. And I ask you,
what was my feelings and my duty as a father? I says to the
boy, “You bring me the luggage,” I says—
PICKERING
. Why didn’t you go for it yourself?
DOOLITTLE
. Landlady wouldn’t have trusted me with it,
Governor. She’s that kind of woman: you know. I had to
give the boy a penny afore he trusted me with it, the little
swine. I brought it to her just to oblige you like, and make
myself agreeable. That’s all.
HIGGINS
. How much luggage?
DOOLITTLE
. Musical instrument, Governor. A few pic-
tures, a trifle of jewelry, and a bird-cage. She said she didn’t
want no clothes. What was I to think from that, Governor?
I ask you as a parent what was I to think?
HIGGINS
. So you came to rescue her from worse than
death, eh?
DOOLITTLE 
[appreciatively: relieved at being understood]
Just so, Governor. That’s right.
PICKERING
. But why did you bring her luggage if you
intended to take her away?
DOOLITTLE
. Have I said a word about taking her away?
Have I now?
HIGGINS 
[determinedly] You’re going to take her away,
double quick. [He crosses to the hearth and rings the bell].
DOOLITTLE 
[rising] No, Governor. Don’t say that. I’m
not the man to stand in my girl’s light. Here’s a career open-
ing for her, as you might say; and—
Mrs. Pearce opens the door and awaits orders.
HIGGINS
. Mrs. Pearce: this is Eliza’s father. He has come
to take her away. Give her to him. [He goes back to the piano,
with an air of washing his hands of the whole affair].
DOOLITTLE
. No. This is a misunderstanding. Listen
here—
MRS. PEARCE
. He can’t take her away, Mr. Higgins: how
can he? You told me to burn her clothes.
DOOLITTLE
. That’s right. I can’t carry the girl through
the streets like a blooming monkey, can I? I put it to you.
HIGGINS
. You have put it to me that you want your daugh-
ter. Take your daughter. If she has no clothes go out and buy

---

36
Pygmalion
her some.
DOOLITTLE 
[desperate] Where’s the clothes she come in?
Did I burn them or did your missus here?
MRS. PEARCE
. I am the housekeeper, if you please. I have
sent for some clothes for your girl. When they come you can
take her away. You can wait in the kitchen. This way, please.