George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

boots are much the worse for wear. She is no doubt as clean as
she can afford to be; but compared to the ladies she is very dirty.
Her features are no worse than theirs; but their condition leaves
something to be desired; and she needs the services of a dentist].
THE MOTHER
. How do you know that my son’s name is
Freddy, pray?
THE FLOWER GIRL
. Ow, eez ye-ooa san, is e? Wal, fewd
dan y’ de-ooty bawmz a mather should, eed now bettern to
spawl a pore gel’s flahrzn than ran awy atbaht pyin. Will ye-
oo py me f ’them? [Here, with apologies, this desperate attempt
to represent her dialect without a phonetic alphabet must be
abandoned as unintelligible outside London.]
THE DAUGHTER
. Do nothing of the sort, mother. The
idea!
THE MOTHER
. Please allow me, Clara. Have you any pen-
nies?
THE DAUGHTER
. No. I’ve nothing smaller than sixpence.
THE FLOWER GIRL 
[hopefully] I can give you change for
a tanner, kind lady.
THE MOTHER 
[to Clara] Give it to me. [Clara parts reluc-
tantly]. Now [to the girl] This is for your flowers.
THE FLOWER GIRL
. Thank you kindly, lady.
THE DAUGHTER
. Make her give you the change. These

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10
Pygmalion
things are only a penny a bunch.
THE MOTHER
. Do hold your tongue, Clara. [To the girl].
You can keep the change.
THE FLOWER GIRL
. Oh, thank you, lady.
THE MOTHER
. Now tell me how you know that young
gentleman’s name.
THE FLOWER GIRL
. I didn’t.
THE MOTHER
. I heard you call him by it. Don’t try to
deceive me.
THE FLOWER GIRL 
[protesting] Who’s trying to deceive
you? I called him Freddy or Charlie same as you might your-
self if you was talking to a stranger and wished to be pleas-
ant. [She sits down beside her basket].
THE DAUGHTER
. Sixpence thrown away! Really, mamma,
you might have spared Freddy that. [She retreats in disgust
behind the pillar].
An elderly gentleman of the amiable military type rushes into
shelter, and closes a dripping umbrella. He is in the same plight
as Freddy, very wet about the ankles. He is in evening dress,
with a light overcoat. He takes the place left vacant by the
daughter’s retirement.
THE GENTLEMAN
. Phew!
THE MOTHER 
[to the gentleman] Oh, sir, is there any sign
of its stopping?
THE GENTLEMAN
. I’m afraid not. It started worse than
ever about two minutes ago. [He goes to the plinth beside the
flower girl; puts up his foot on it; and stoops to turn down his
trouser ends].
THE MOTHER
. Oh, dear! [She retires sadly and joins her
daughter].
THE FLOWER GIRL 
[taking advantage of the military
gentleman’s proximity to establish friendly relations with him].
If it’s worse it’s a sign it’s nearly over. So cheer up, Captain;
and buy a flower off a poor girl.
THE GENTLEMAN
. I’m sorry, I haven’t any change.
THE FLOWER GIRL
. I can give you change, Captain,
THE GENTLEMEN
. For a sovereign? I’ve nothing less.

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11
Shaw
THE FLOWER GIRL
. Garn! Oh do buy a flower off me,
Captain. I can change half-a-crown. Take this for tuppence.
THE GENTLEMAN
. Now don’t be troublesome: there’s a
good girl. [Trying his pockets] I really haven’t any change—
Stop: here’s three hapence, if that’s any use to you [he retreats