Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets By J. K. Rowling chapter one the Worst Birthday

stupid dinner party. He’d been talking of nothing else for two weeks. Some rich builder and his 
wife were coming to dinner and Uncle Vernon was hoping to get a huge order from him (Uncle 

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Vernon’s company made drills). 
“I think we should run through the schedule one more time,” said Uncle Vernon. “We should all 
be in position at eight o’clock. Petunia, you will be —?” 
“In the lounge,” said Aunt Petunia promptly, “waiting to welcome them graciously to our home.” 
“Good, good. And Dudley?” 
“I’ll be waiting to open the door.” Dudley put on a foul, simpering smile. “May I take your coats, 
Mr. and Mrs. Mason?” 
“They’ll love him!” cried Aunt Petunia rapturously. 
“Excellent, Dudley,” said Uncle Vernon. Then he rounded on Harry. “And you?” 
“I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending I’m not there,” said Harry tonelessly. 
“Exactly,” said Uncle Vernon nastily. “I will lead them into the lounge, introduce you, Petunia, 
and pour them drinks. At eight-fifteen —” 
“I’ll announce dinner,” said Aunt Petunia. 
“And, Dudley, you’ll say —” 
“May I take you through to the dining room, Mrs. Mason?” said Dudley, offering his fat arm to 
an invisible woman. 
“My perfect little gentleman!” sniffed Aunt Petunia. 
“And you?” said Uncle Vernon viciously to Harry. 
“I’ll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I’m not there,” said Harry dully. 
“Precisely. Now, we should aim to get in a few good compliments at dinner. Petunia, any ideas?” 
“Vernon tells me you’re a wonderful golfer, Mr. Mason… Do tell me where you bought your 
dress, Mrs. Mason…” 
“Perfect… Dudley?” 
“How about —‘We had to write an essay about our hero at school, Mr. Mason, and I wrote about 
you.’” 
This was too much for both Aunt Petunia and Harry. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and hugged 
her son, while Harry ducked under the table so they wouldn’t see him laughing. 

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“And you, boy?” 
Harry fought to keep his face straight as he emerged. 
“I’ll be in my room, making no noise and pretending I’m not there,” he said. 
“Too right, you will.” said Uncle Vernon forcefully. “The Masons don’t know anything about 
you and it’s going to stay that way. When dinner’s over, you take Mrs. Mason back to the lounge 
for coffee, Petunia, and I’ll bring the subject around to drills. With any luck, I’ll have the deal 
signed and sealed before the news at ten. Be shopping for a vacation home in Majorca this time 
tomorrow.” 
Harry couldn’t feel too excited about this. He didn’t think the Dursleys would like him any better 
in Majorca than they did on Privet Drive. 
“Right — I’m off into town to pick up the dinner jackets for Dudley and me. And you,” he 
snarled at Harry. “You stay out of your aunt’s way while she’s cleaning.” 
Harry left through the back door. It was a brilliant, sunny day. He crossed the lawn, slumped 
down on the garden bench, and sang under his breath: 
“Happy birthday to me… happy birthday to me…” 
No cards, no presents, and he would be spending the evening pretending not to exist. He gazed 
miserably into the hedge. He had never felt so lonely. More than anything else at Hogwarts, 
more even than playing Quidditch, Harry missed his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione 
Granger. They, however, didn’t seem to be missing him at all. Neither of them had written to 
him all summer, even though Ron had said he was going to ask Harry to come and stay. 
Countless times, Harry had been on the point of unlocking Hedwig’s cage by magic and sending 
her to Ron and Hermione with a letter, but it wasn’t worth the risk. Underage wizards weren’t 
allowed to use magic outside of school. Harry hadn’t told the Dursleys this; he knew it was only 
their terror that he might turn them all into dung beetles that stopped them from locking him in 
the cupboard under the stairs with his wand and broomstick. For the first couple of weeks back, 
Harry had enjoyed muttering nonsense words under his breath and watching Dudley tearing out 
of the room as fast as his fat legs would carry him. But the long silence from Ron and Hermione 
had made Harry feel so cut off from the magical world that even taunting Dudley had lost its 
appeal — and now Ron and Hermione had forgotten his birthday. 
What wouldn’t he give now for a message from Hogwarts? From any witch or wizard? He’d 
almost be glad of a sight of his archenemy, Draco Malfoy, just to be sure it hadn’t all been a 
dream…
Not that his whole year at Hogwarts had been fun. At the very end of last term, Harry had come 
face-to-face with none other than Lord Voldemort himself. Voldemort might be a ruin of his 
former self, but he was still terrifying, still cunning, still determined to regain power. Harry had 

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slipped through Voldemort’s clutches for a second time, but it had been a narrow escape, and 
even now, weeks later, Harry kept waking in the night, drenched in cold sweat, wondering where 
Voldemort was now, remembering his livid face, his wide, mad eyes — 
Harry suddenly sat bolt upright on the garden bench. He had been staring absent-mindedly into 
the hedge — and the hedge was staring back. Two enormous green eyes had appeared among 
the leaves. 
Harry jumped to his feet just as a jeering voice floated across the lawn. 
“I know what day it is,” sang Dudley, waddling toward him. 
The huge eyes blinked and vanished. 
“What?” said Harry, not taking his eyes off the spot where they had been. 
“I know what day it is,” Dudley repeated, coming right up to him. 
“Well done,” said Harry. “So you’ve finally learned the days of the week.” 
“Today’s your birthday,” sneered Dudley. “How come you haven’t got any cards? Haven’t you 
even got friends at that freak place?” 
“Better not let your mum hear you talking about my school,” said Harry coolly. 
Dudley hitched up his trousers, which were slipping down his fat bottom. 
“Why’re you staring at the hedge?” he said suspiciously. 
“I’m trying to decide what would be the best spell to set it on fire,” said Harry. 
Dudley stumbled backward at once, a look of panic on his fat face. 
“You c-can’t — Dad told you you’re not to do m-magic — he said he’ll chuck you out of the 
house — and you haven’t got anywhere else to go — you haven’t got any friends to take you —” 
“Jiggery pokery!” said Harry in a fierce voice. “Hocus pocus — squiggly wiggly —” 
“MUUUUUUM!” howled Dudley, tripping over his feet as he dashed back toward the house. 
“MUUUUM! He’s doing you know what!” 
Harry paid dearly for his moment of fun. As neither Dudley nor the hedge was in any way hurt, 
Aunt Petunia knew he hadn’t really done magic, but he still had to duck as she aimed a heavy 
blow at his head with the soapy frying pan. Then she gave him work to do, with the promise he 
wouldn’t eat again until he’d finished. 

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While Dudley lolled around watching and eating ice cream, Harry cleaned the windows, washed 
the car, mowed the lawn, trimmed the flowerbeds, pruned and watered the roses, and repainted 
the garden bench. The sun blazed overhead, burning the back of his neck. Harry knew he 
shouldn’t have risen to Dudley’s bait, but Dudley had said the very thing Harry had been 
thinking himself… maybe he didn’t have any friends at Hogwarts…
Wish they could see famous Harry Potter now, he thought savagely as he spread manure on the 
flower beds, his back aching, sweat running down his face. 
It was half past seven in the evening when at last, exhausted, he heard Aunt Petunia calling him. 
“Get in here! And walk on the newspaper!” 
Harry moved gladly into the shade of the gleaming kitchen. On top of the fridge stood tonight’s 
pudding: a huge mound of whipped cream and sugared violets. A loin of roast pork was sizzling 
in the oven. 
“Eat quickly! The Masons will be here soon!” snapped Aunt Petunia, pointing to two slices of 
bread and a lump of cheese on the kitchen table. She was already wearing a salmon-pink cocktail 
dress. 
Harry washed his hands and bolted down his pitiful supper. The moment he had finished, Aunt 
Petunia whisked away his plate. “Upstairs! Hurry!” 
As he passed the door to the living room, Harry caught a glimpse of Uncle Vernon and Dudley in 
bow ties and dinner jackets. He had only just reached the upstairs landing when the door bell 
rang and Uncle Vernon’s furious face appeared at the foot of the stairs. 
“Remember, boy — one sound —” 
Harry crossed to his bedroom on tiptoe slipped inside, closed the door, and turned to collapse on 
his bed. The trouble was, there was already someone sitting on it.