Connor writes about a hobby that is truly unusual—geocaching. He enthusiastically explains the
hobby thoroughly enough
for the reader to understand, which makes his unusual pastime an excellent
choice for a paper topic. Geocaching becomes a clever metaphor for Connor ’s transformation, which
gives the reader a better sense of his academic motivation.
The reader becomes more familiar with Connor ’s personality and motivations as a result of his
interconnected stories. Leading off with a familiar example—like fairy tales and adventure novels—
helps prepare the reader for the introduction of geocaching, the piece’s central metaphor. After
explaining what geocaching is, Connor then moves away from the activity
itself and focuses on how
the key features of his hobby can apply to other areas of his life. His transition from the physical
activity to his metaphorical treatment of it is clear enough as to not confuse readers, but its lack of
nuance is a disservice to the essay. Though broadening the focus of his paper to include more than
just his interest in a part-time hobby is a good decision, the relationship he
draws is a little overdone
though his enthusiasm for both carry him quite far in an essay that brings out his personality and
character. They both come through in the essay in a way that is highly beneficial for his application,
but he falls flat when trying to generalize his geocaching hobby to his academic pursuits.
—Charlotte D. Smith