Power Questions: Build Relationships, Win New Business, and Influence Others

18
The Essence of Your Job
I'm at lunch with my client, Claire. She runs a division of a large, public
company. We arrive early, and the restaurant is nearly empty.
Claire and I meet two or three times a year, usually to debrief on the
advisory work I'm doing for Claire's organization. Our conversation begins
with small talk. Then it shifts to a discussion about the initiatives I am
helping to develop for her division.
By the time we are finishing the main course, we have exhausted the
marketing discussion. This almost always happens. After all, who wants to
talk about business for an entire meal?
The patrons are lined up at the door now, and the restaurant is nearly full.
Activist Ralph Nader once said, “I don't think meals have any business
being deductible. I'm for separation of calories and corporations.” I
disagree. Meals are good for relationship building. Research shows that we
feel more favorably toward someone if we share a meal. Meals can have an
important business purpose.
There is silence as the waiter clears our plates. I look up at Claire. I
decide to shift the conversation. “How are you doing?” I ask.
“Good, I'm good.” More silence. “It's been pretty relentless.”
“Relentless?” (Sometimes, just echoing the last word of someone's
sentence will cause more to be revealed.)
“There are my external commitments. You know, seeing key customers,
meeting with suppliers, and so on. Then, all the day-to-day internal
management I am involved in. It's a 70-hour week that could become 100 if
I let it.” She heaves a sigh.
I want to ask about the details of her work, to dissect her effectiveness
with each constituency. The problem-solver in me is chomping at the bit.
Instead, I take a breath and pause.

---

“Claire, I'm curious. . .you've been in the divisional CEO role now for
over a year. As you think about the job, what things do you wish you could
spend more time on, and what activities do you wish you could do less of?”
She reflects for a minute. I can see her brain is suddenly churning.
“Hmm. . .that's an interesting question.” Another pause.
“First of all, I wish I had more time to spend on coaching and mentoring
the executives on my leadership team. I love doing it, and I'm good at it.
And I know they can be much better than they are today. Second, we've got
an ambitious strategy to develop lower-cost products for emerging markets.
Yet, I've never even been to many of the countries we want to sell to.”
An hour later we are still sitting at the lunch table. The line at the maitre
d's station is gone. The tables are mostly empty again.
I've learned more about Claire's priorities than I thought possible. I know
what frustrates her. I understand how she would like to refocus her time
going forward.
A few months later, Claire completely reorganizes her office and creates a
new position to provide additional support for her. When I see her next, I
smell a new zest for her role, an enthusiasm that I haven't seen since she
was promoted.
I wanted to dissect the individual pieces of Claire's role and suggest small
improvements. That requires analysis. It's when you pull something apart
and assess the components one by one. “Improve your meeting
management!” Or, “Delegate more effectively!” It would have helped, but
only a little.
What Claire really needed was a completely fresh look at her role and her
priorities. That requires synthesis. You look at the whole first. You also look
at personal strengths and preferences. For that, I needed to ask a question
that would push her to sit back and reflect on the totality of her job.
To get someone to reflect on their job (or their life), ask: “What parts