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PART THREE
Make Yourself a Priority
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Introduction
It’s not selfish or a sign of weakness to distance
yourself or walk away from those who constantly
bring down your vibe. Life is about balance. It’s
about spreading kindness, but it’s also about not
letting anyone take that kindness away from you.
Do you think it’s selfish to put yourself first? Depending on the context, it
can
be selfish to think of yourself and not others. For example, if a pie is cut
into eight equal pieces and there are eight hungry people in the room, it
would be selfish of you to take two pieces.
However, it’s often important to put yourself first. You have a lot of energy
to give, but you must save some of that energy for yourself. You came into
this world alone and you’ll leave on your own. Your longest relationship in
life is with yourself. Only when you manage this relationship well can you
manage your relationships with others.
Sadly, we must accept that even though someone means well, they may
repeatedly inflict pain on our souls without considering the effect that their
actions and words are having on us. Ideally, we want to be in a place where
our mood doesn’t shift because of someone else’s behaviour, but only the
most spiritually evolved among us are able to do this – to demonstrate
unconditional, ongoing love in spite of others’ actions towards them. Most of
us still have a long way to go before we ascend into states of consciousness
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high enough to allow us to love all people without condition or expectation.
If we’re not spiritually evolved individuals, then constant interaction with
toxic people can suck the energy out of us, which in time will make us feel
drained.
It is much easier to see the good in life
when you are around positive people.
Your personal growth is an ongoing process and it can take a long time to get
to a place where you’re unaffected by other people’s behaviour.
So sometimes you have to cut out those people who continuously cut you.
They’re venomous and restrict your progress. After all, it’s hard to function,
not to mention crack a smile, when someone keeps feeding you poison. Think
of a plant: if you keep it under toxic conditions, it can’t grow and will soon
start to wither. But, under the right conditions, it’ll thrive and grow into
something beautiful. Once it becomes big and strong, it’s hard to destroy.
People can be toxic, too. A toxic person might be someone who criticizes
everything you do; expects too much; lacks respect; shows very little support.
They might ridicule, neglect, physically abuse, manipulate and belittle you.
These people are usually unwilling to confront their toxic actions and make
changes.
So when you find yourself around people who are toxic towards you, your
inner peace will be lost and you’ll be more likely to pass on the pain this
causes you to others. This begs the question: Is it selfish to think of ourselves
here, or is it selfish of them to expect that we should be okay with it?
Ending a toxic relationship can be incredibly difficult; it’s hard to break free
from those close to you, even if they’re hurting you. But once you remove
those people from your life, you make way for a river of positivity to flow.
You’ll have time and space for introspection, healing and growth, and like
the plant, you too will become strong.
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