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There’s something missing from the Law of
Attraction
For the Law of Attraction to work, you have to think positively. However,
it’s difficult to stay positive all the time. When things go wrong in life, or
they don’t quite turn out how we expect, it’s hard to remain optimistic.
Most people saw me as a positive individual. But when things got hard, I was
far from it. Anger had always got the better of me. Sometimes, external
events would create so much rage within me that I’d want to wreck
everything in sight. As a result, I’d enter a downward spiral. I fluctuated
constantly from highs to extreme lows. I was like two different people. These
inconsistencies were projected onto my life. I’d go through some really good
periods and then experience really bad ones. During the bad times, it was
impossible to see the bright side of things. I tended to give in and take out my
frustrations on the world by smashing up furniture, speaking rudely to others
and moaning about how terrible it was to live in the world.
During my last year of university, I experienced a massive setback in a group
project that counted for a significant percentage of my final grade, when my
group became divided over how much of a contribution people were making.
I tried to be optimistic about it and expected it to work out in the end. But it
didn’t – it got really messy.
It suddenly seemed clear that the Law of Attraction didn’t always work. My
group was completely divided, arguing constantly over our individual roles
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and how much effort each member was putting in, just months before
graduation. Things got out of control and harsh words were exchanged;
unfortunately, there was no way to fix the issue. My friend Darryl and I felt
that we were treated very unfairly, but there wasn’t much we could do about
it, other than work ten times harder, with looming deadlines that seemed
impossible to meet, especially on top of the rest of our workload. We were
convinced we’d fail our assignments and exams, and therefore be unable to
graduate. It felt like we’d wasted our entire time at university.
I had gone to university because I felt like I had to. It was what you were
supposed to do if you wanted a good job and a comfortable life – which I
hadn’t experienced during my childhood. But deep down I didn’t really want
to be there. I didn’t enjoy it. I always knew I wouldn’t end up in a traditional
job. I was doing this for my mum more than anything. I’d watched her
struggle my whole life and wanted to show her it hadn’t been in vain.
Now that I was so close to the finish line, it was all going to be taken away
from me. All I could think about was letting my mum down, letting myself
down and all the money wasted on a degree that I was going to fail. It was all
for nothing. I was overcome by negative thoughts.
I told my mum I was going to leave university, as I had no reason to be there.
I hated it and it was unfair what I was going through. My rage needed a
scapegoat, so I blamed her for everything. Lovingly, she tried to convince me
to stay and do the best I could, but in anger I only argued with her even more.
I was fed up with the endless problems and I wanted to leave everything
behind. I had no reason to live and no purpose in life. My low state even led
me to revisit some of my worst memories, which just added more fuel to the
fire, convincing me that my life was worthless. What was the point in having
dreams if I could never manifest them? I convinced myself I was living a lie
and kidding myself that I could do big things.
It seemed clear right then: great things were never meant for me. So I trawled
through employment websites and applied for a variety of jobs that looked
fairly interesting and paid well, even though I wasn’t qualified for them. I
thought that if I could land one, I wouldn’t seem like a complete failure and
would at least have some money to help out my family with their debt, bills
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and expenses, including my sisters’ weddings. In my covering letters, I
explained that although I was under qualified, I’d be the perfect employee.
No one responded.
Underneath it all, I knew I couldn’t quit university when I’d already come so
far. I’d expended so much energy trying to find a way out of the problem, but
now it was time to face what had to be done and hope for the best.
But first I had my eldest sister’s wedding to attend. This added more
pressure. It meant that I’d have to hand in an assignment earlier than
everyone else and take time off university just two months before my final
deadlines, which would set me back even more. Stubbornly, I told my family
that I couldn’t go to the wedding, even though I knew I’d forever regret
missing such an important event. In the end I did go – albeit reluctantly.
And soon as I got there, something unexpected happened. I felt calm and
relaxed. The wedding was in Goa, India, and it was beautiful. Everyone there
was shining bright with happiness and love for my sister and her new
husband. Honestly, at this point I wasn’t trying to feel positive. I was
comfortable feeling down and feeling sorry for myself, and I wanted others to
feel sorry for me, too. But this new environment created a welcome shift in
me. For the first time in ages, I felt grateful.
I’ll always remember my sister’s wedding. And it taught me a lot about how
the Universe operates.
On my return home, the positive feeling stayed with me. I felt good, and very
calm about the chaos outside me. And my renewed steadiness motivated me
to finish what needed to be done.
I created a dummy score card that displayed the overall mark I would receive
for my degree. I’d stare at this for a few minutes each day while pretending
that the impressive grade on the scorecard was real. I didn’t quite believe that
I’d achieve it; it was merely a desire. But I 
did
believe that I would do well,
nonetheless.
I made up my mind to go to the library every single day, for hours on end. I
put in the huge amount of extra work needed to complete the group
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assignment, and more. During my breaks I took time to chat with positive
people who were able to make me feel good about myself.
One of them was the woman I’d eventually fall in love with for life.
When it came to exam time, handing in assignments and doing final year
presentations, I was confident that I’d done enough. As it turned out, I didn’t
quite get the marks that were on my dummy score card, but I did pass
comfortably. And I aced one of the hardest exams on my course, which came
as a surprise.
I went on to have similar successes by using the Law of Attraction. But,
overall, the results were hit and miss. I knew I was missing something. When
I found out what this was, I began to have more consistent success. I was able
to test this on others, to see if they’d also benefit from my discovery – and
they did. In fact, many of them were able to do things that had once seemed
impossible.
Not everything I’ve wanted has manifested. This has usually been a blessing
in disguise. Too many times I’ve believed that I wanted and needed
something, but it was for all the wrong reasons. Over the years I’ve gained
clarity and sighed with relief for not getting what I thought was surely meant
for me. Often, I’ve not got what I wanted, only to find I’ve later been blessed
with even more.
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