mandatory meeting in our pretend fort. I’d made so many
promises, trying to calm her down. She wouldn’t see this
coming. She wouldn’t take this well.
‘Advice? Good. Is it to stop being such an asshole to
me?’
I felt the rage rise up; that this was already turning into
a high school fight. A thirty-four-year-old man in the middle
of the worst night of my life, and I was having a
meet me by
the lockers!
squabble with a pissed-off girl. I shook her
once, hard, a tiny droplet of spit landing on her lower lip.
‘I—You don’t get it, Andie. This isn’t some joke, this is
my life.’
‘I just … I need you,’ she said, looking down at her
hands. ‘I know I keep saying that, but I do. I can’t do it, Nick.
I can’t go on like this. I’m falling apart. I’m so scared all the
time.’
She
was scared. I pictured the police knocking, and
here I was with a girl I’d been fucking the morning my wife
went missing. I’d sought her out that day – I had never gone
to her apartment since that first night, but I went right there
that morning, because I’d spent hours with my heart
pounding behind my ears, trying to get myself to say the
words to Amy:
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