Reading Comprehension Success in 20 Minutes a Day, 3rd Edition

The Effect of Description
and Detail
In business, what some people call “flowery” style—lots
of description and detail—is almost never appropriate.
Why? Because in business, as they say, “time is money,”
so readers don’t want to spend time reading lengthy
descriptions or extensive detail. They just want the
facts: when the meeting will be held and where; what
the new product is designed to do and how much it
costs; how the new training manual is coming along. In
most cases, the more straightforward, the better.
Other times, however, when they want readers to
imagine a situation or to experience something through
language, writers need a “flowery” style. That is, they
need a high degree of description and detail. The fol-
lowing two paragraphs show the difference. Both
describe the same appointment, but in two very dif-
ferent styles. One is written in a style appropriate to
business and only records the facts. The other describes
the meeting in a style appropriate for general readers
interested in the feelings of the people involved.
–
S T Y L E : I T ’ S N O T W H AT T H E Y S AY B U T H O W T H E Y S AY I T
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Paragraph A
Yesterday at 10:00 
A
.
M
., Mark Spencer held a
press conference. Eleanor Cartwright was present as
well. Mr. Spencer talked about upcoming events at
the Smithfield Museum of Art, where he is Director.
Then he announced that Eleanor Cartwright had
just been appointed Director of Development. This
new position was created due to the planned build-
ing of a new wing, which will house the significant
art collection that was donated to The Smithfield
Museum last year. Mr. Spencer outlined Ms.
Cartwright’s qualifications and introduced her to
the press. She discussed plans for the new wing, and
she also took several questions from reporters before
the press conference ended.