Revive Your Heart: Putting Life in Perspective

linta lahum
.
Going further, the word 
layn
—I’m still not done with this word because this
word really baffles me. The Arabic 
ṣāghahā bi-layānihi
means: ‘He listened to
(the woman), softening his stance’. In other words ‘
layān
’ is used when you
listen to someone without passing judgement; you listen to someone after putting
your anger aside. I’ll give you an example so it’s easy to understand: if my
daughter got an ‘F’ in math and I say, ‘What happened here? Explain yourself’. I
don’t care what she says, I’ll still be angry. Let’s be honest, it’s not like she is
going to give me a very logical explanation, ‘Oh okay, 
mā shā
’
 Allāh
. Give me a
hug’. It’s not going to be like that. I’ve already made up my mind that I am
upset, that decision has already been made. Now it really doesn’t matter what
she says.

---

But the expression they use in Arabic, 
ṣāghahā bi-layānihi
, means actually
he listened to her with full attention, he didn’t make up his mind that he is going
to be angry anyway. ‘Look you made a mistake. The bottom line is: I don’t care
how you slice it, you messed up.’ But no. You’re going to listen to them softly
too. Not only will you give them softness but when they’re speaking you’re not
going to be angry. You’re going to listen calmly and you are going to maintain a
soft sense towards them. The word 
līn
actually in Arabic also means a soft date
that’s particularly tasty. You should be like that date, you should be a treat to
them—
subḥān Allāh
.
Then the word means 
rakhā’
, softness; it means something that gives you
comfort, 
naʿīm
. You should go in there and be a source of comfort for these
people; not a source of misery, not a source of sadness, not a source of
depression; you should be the other way around. This is about the 
Rasūl
of Allah
(
ṣallā Allāh ʿalayhi wa-sallam
) so far, but you know what? This is also about us,
we’re leaders too aren’t we? When the wife disappoints you, when the child
disappoints you, when the employee disappoints you, when the friend
disappoints you, what’s our reaction? How do we respond? How do we deal with
it? And by the way, the 
Rasūl
of Allah (
ṣallā Allāh ʿalayhi wa-sallam
) is being
told to calm down and be the nicest he can be in a situation where loved ones
have been killed! But we lose our temper over keys that are lost, over a cell
phone you can’t find, over a phone call that she didn’t pick up. Over that? Can
you imagine? How far removed? And then we say we love the 
Sunnah
of the
Prophet (
ṣallā Allāh ʿalayhi wa-sallam
). What position are we in to talk like
that? This is the legacy he (
ṣallā Allāh ʿalayhi wa-sallam
) left, this is the
leadership Allah is teaching him. Thank Allah we are not put in that position; we
are not put in that position, because that is a real leader who can handle that kind
of a situation.
The 
āyāt
go on with remarkable words:
... Had you been rough, hardhearted, they would surely have scattered
away from you …
(Āl ʿImrān 3: 159)

---

Faẓẓ
actually means a few things in Arabic, and I’ll highlight each of them.
First it means 
kashin al-kalām
: someone who speaks in a harsh, mean, nasty
way. 
Faẓẓ
literally has to do with speaking to somebody and