Screenwriting in 2000, however, Paul Thomas Anderson did mention researching Ross Jeffries.
247
ary edge. So why not work at it and learn to do it well, like I'd done with
everything else in my life? Who says you're allowed to take lessons in mo-
torcycle riding but not in interacting with women? I just needed someone
to show me how to start the engine and shift to higher gears. And I wasn't
hurting anyone. No one was complaining after I slept with them, no one
was being lied to, no one was being hurt. They wanted to be seduced. Every-
one wants to be seduced. It makes us feel wanted.
"We made this whole speech, because the guys were taking what we
were saying and going with it and getting into it. So PTA and I were saying,
'Hey man, oh my God. Easy.'"
See, I wanted to tell him. Seduction is seductive. But I couldn't, because
as he remembered that moment, Cruise let out a laugh. And Cruise doesn't
laugh like ordinary people do. His laugh takes over a room. It comes on just
fine, a regular laugh by any standards. You will be laughing too. But then,
when the humor subsides, you will stop laughing. At this point, however,
Cruise's laugh will just be crescendoing. And he will be making eye contact
with you. Ha ha HA HA heh heh. And you will try to laugh again, to join him,
because you know you're supposed to. But it doesn't come out right, be-
cause it's not natural. He will squeeze out a couple words sometimes be-
tween chuckles—"It's not real," in this case. And then he will stop, as
suddenly as he started, and you will be relieved.
"Well," I told him, squeezing out the last breath of an awkward laugh.
"That's easy for you to say."
We spent the next week together visiting various Scientology buildings.
It's no secret that Tom Cruise is a member of the Church of Scientology—a
religion, self-help group, charity, cult, and philosophy started by the science
fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard in the 1950s. But Cruise had never taken a
journalist into that world before.
The more I learned about L. Ron Hubbard, the more I realized that he
was the exact same personality type as Mystery and Ross Jeffries and Tyler
Durden. They were wickedly smart megalomaniacs who knew how to syn-
thesize great bodies of knowledge and experience into personality-driven
brands, which they sold to people who didn't feel like they were getting
what they needed out of life. They were obsessive students of the principles
that guide human behavior. But the ethics of and motivation for their use
of those principles made them controversial figures.
On our last day together, Cruise took me on a tour of the Scientology
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Celebrity Center in Hollywood, where I saw a classroom full of students be-
ing trained to use e-meters, devices that measure skin conductance. When
curious civilians come into the church, they are hooked up to e-meters and
asked various questions. Afterward, the interviewer goes over the results
with them and tells them why they need to join the Church of Scientology
to fix their problems.
Students were paired up in the classroom, role-playing the various sce-
narios that can occur during an interview. They had large books spread out
in front of them. Everything the interviewer (or auditor, in Scientology
terms) utters—every response to every contingency—was contained in those
books. Nothing was left to chance. No possible convert was going to slip
through their hands.
What they were rehearsing, I realized, was a form of pickup. Without a
rigid structure, rehearsed routines, and troubleshooting tactics, there
would be no recruitment.
One of my main frustrations with sarging was repeating the same lines
over and over. I was getting tired asking girls if they thought spells worked
or if they wanted to take the best friends test or if they noticed how their
nose wiggled when they laughed. I just wanted to walk into a set and say,
"Love me. I'm Style!"
But after watching the auditors, I began to think that perhaps routines
weren't training wheels after all; they were the bike.' Every form of dema-
goguery depends on them. Religion is pickup. Politics is pickup. Life is
pickup.
Every day, we have our routines, which we rely on to make people like
us or to get what we want or to make someone laugh or to endure another
day without letting anyone know the nasty thoughts we're really thinking
about them.
After the tour, Cruise and I ate lunch in the Celebrity Center restau-
rant. He was clean-shaven and ruddy-cheeked, wearing a dark-green crew-
neck T-shirt that fit his body like a glove. Over a healthy slab of steak, he
discussed his values. He believed in learning new things, doing the work re-
quired of him, and competing with no one but himself. He was strong-
willed, centered, and resolute. Any thinking that must be done, any turmoil
that must be resolved, any issue that must be handled was solved first and
foremost in a dialogue between Tom Cruise and himself.
"I don't really keep counsel with others," he said. "I'm the kind of per-
249
son who will think about something, and if I know it's right I'm not going
to ask anybody. I don't go, 'Boy, what do you think about this?' I've made
every decision for myself—in my career, in my life."
Cruise leaned forward in his chair, resting his elbows in his lap. He was
low in his seat and his head was parallel with the surface of the table. As he
spoke, he expressed himself through gestures as subtle as changing the
aperture of his eyes. The guy was born to sell things: movies, himself, Scien-
tology, you. Whenever I criticized myself or made an excuse for myself, he
jumped down my throat.
"I'm sorry," I said at one point, when discussing an article I'd written. "I
don't mean to sound like one of those writer guys."
"Why are you apologizing? Why not be a writer guy? Who are those
guys? They're talented people who write about things that people are inter-
ested in." Then he continued, mockingly, "No, you don't want to be one of
those guys who's creative and expressive."
He was right. I had thought I was done with gurus, but I needed one
more. Tom Cruise was teaching me more about inner game than Mystery,
Ross Jeffries, Steve P., or my father ever had.
He stood up and slammed his fist down on the table, hard—AMOG-
style. "Why don't you want to be one of those guys? Be one of those guys,
man. I mean it. That's cool."
Okay. Cruise says it's cool. Case closed.
As we talked, I realized that out of all the people I'd met in my lifetime,
no one had their head screwed on more tightly than Tom Cruise. And this
was a disturbing thought, because nearly every idea Tom Cruise expressed
could be found somewhere in the massive writings of L. Ron Hubbard.
I discovered this when Cruise had his personal Scientology liaison
bring a heavy red book to the table. He opened it to the Scientology code of
honor, and we discussed it point by point—set a good example, fulfill your
obligations, never need praise or approval or sympathy, don't compromise
your own reality.
When Cruise promised to send me an invitation for the center's annual
Scientology Gala, I began to worry that this wasn't about an article for
Rolling Stone at all. It was about getting another convert to Scientology. If
that was true, he'd picked the wrong person. At most, he was introducing
me to a body of knowledge I could draw from, like the writings of Joseph
Campbell or the teaching of the Buddha or the lyrics of Jay-Z.
250
After our meal and study session, Cruise invited me to the president's
room to meet his mother, who was taking a course in the building. "Let me
ask you something else about that article you wrote," he said as we walked.
"A lot of that stuff is about trying to control people and manipulate situa-
tions. Can you imagine all the effort they're putting into that? If they took
that effort and put it toward something constructive, who knows what they
could accomplish."
The interview ended. The article was published. And Tom Cruise and I
would meet again. I would be a different person then, but he would be the
same. He would never change. He was an AMOG—and he had AMOGed me.
However, he hadn't converted me.
He had his church. I had mine.
My church, however, still needed to be built.
Tom Cruise was right: all our effort did need to be put toward some-
thing constructive, something bigger than ourselves. I had felt after writing
the Times article that my work was not done in the community, that it was
all leading somewhere. Now I knew where: Project Hollywood, our church
of the spread legs.
The epiphany came to me on my birthday. Some of the PUAs threw a
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