In a Different Voice: Psychological
Theory and Women's Development
Petra was a nineteen-year-old Czech with long chestnut hair, a thin golden-
brown model's body, and no more than a dozen words of English in her vo-
cabulary. I met her and her cousin on the island of Hvar in Croatia with a
Seattle PUA named Nightlight9. We showed them our magic tricks. They
showed us their popcorn. On a piece of paper, we drew a picture with a
clock and a time on it to rendezvous that night. They met us and led us by
the hand to a small, deserted beach. They took off all their clothes except
their panties and tennis shoes, and ran into the water. We followed and
made love to them as they chattered away in Czech to each other.
Anya was a whip-smart twenty-two-year-old Croatian who was vaca-
tioning with her younger sister. She oozed confidence, sensuality, and good
breeding; her sister was the opposite. Nightlight9 and I met them on the
beach in the Croatian town of Vodice. That night they slipped away from
their parents, and we wandered along the waterfront until we found a
docked sailboat. We snuck on board and had sex in the galley. I left twenty
euros for the bottle of wine we drank.
Carrie was a nineteen-year-old waitress at Dublin's in Los Angeles. She
approached me and complimented me on my dreadlocks; I neglected to tell
her I was wearing a Rastafarian wig as a joke. I met her the next day com-
pletely bald, but we still ended up in bed together. When I e-mailed her the
next day to tell her she'd left her rings at my house, she responded, "I don't
wear rings. They're not mine."
Martine was a free-spirited blonde I met in New York, with milky skin,
smeared red lipstick, and an iron-on T-shirt. I'd opened so many sets that
I can't even remember what I said to her. The next night, we went to a bar. I
brought along two other girls so she'd have to work for me. For a second I
felt guilty about that. But only a second. In the bar, I asked her how good
she was in bed, on a scale of one to ten. In my hotel room, I found out. She
was a seven.
Laranya was a JAP in the body of an Indian woman. I'd met her when I
was in college and we were both interning at the same weekly newspaper.
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She was the hot intern; I was the shy intern. But when I ran into her years
later in Los Angeles, Style took her out on the town. The first thing she said
when we woke up together was, "I can't believe how much you've changed."
Neither could I.
Stacy was a twenty-eight-year-old anorexic I met in Chicago. During a
lengthy e-mail correspondence, she seduced me with her intelligence, can-
dor, and poetry. When she finally came to visit, I was disappointed to dis-
cover that she was awkward and ineloquent. She probably felt the same way
about me. Nonetheless, I brought her directly to my bedroom, and we be-
gan to make out. I put a finger inside her and felt a fleshy cord bisecting her
vagina like a tennis net. It was her hymen. I told her I didn't want to be the
one to take her virginity. That's when I realized that being a PUA sometimes
meant saying no.
Yana was an older Russian woman with chiseled features and a great
boob job. I met her at a bar in Malibu. She told me it was her birthday but
wouldn't say her age. I guessed forty-five, but not out loud. As a present, I
told her I'd be her boy toy. She grabbed my butt; I told her I charged extra
for that. Two nights later, we had a cocktail and adjourned to my house.
She said she didn't put out anymore, that she was looking for something
deeper. We had sex that night. We role-played. I was the teacher; she was the
naughty schoolgirl. It was her idea.
She was a drunk Asian girl with large breasts, surrounded by three
sober Asian girls with small breasts. I can't remember her name. She
thought I was gay. We talked for fifteen minutes, then I took her by the
hand and led her to the bathroom. We gave each other oral sex and never
spoke again. It was overrated.
Jill was an Australian businesswoman a fellow pickup artist set me up
with. She had spiky blonde hair, leopard-print pants, and a voracious sexual
energy. When she danced—if you could call it that—every man's head
turned. We fucked in her BMW, with the top down and our legs out the
door. When I asked her when she had first wanted to kiss me, she said, "As
soon as I saw you." No woman had ever said that to me before.
Sarah was a forty something casting agent I met at the lounge of the
Casa Del Mar hotel in Santa Monica. She looked clean and radiant, like she
had stepped out of a shampoo commercial—even in the harsh light of my
elevator, where, an hour after meeting, we made love. She kept asking if
there were cameras. I couldn't tell if she was afraid of being caught or ex-
cited by the possibility. Probably both.
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Hea and Randi were girls I met at the club Highlands. Hea was a teeny
indie-rocker nerd with a boyfriend. Randi was a cute actress with the most
mischievous smile I'd ever seen, and a boyfriend. It took a month to con-
vince Hea to cheat on her boyfriend; it took a day to convince Randi.
Mika was a Japanese girl I met at Jamba Juice. She was an orange dream
machine with energy boost. I am an orange dream machine with protein
boost. I was intrigued. When we had sex, I discovered that she didn't believe
in shaving her pubic hair. The next morning she told me, "I grow my hair
out because I donate it to children with cancer." I was astonished: "They
wear your pubes on their head?" She replied that she'd been talking about
the hair on her head.
Ani was a stripper who worked out two hours a day and was addicted to
plastic surgery. She had metallic red hair and lipstick tattooed on to match.
After we had sex, she told me, "I have mastered the art of visualization."
When I asked her to elaborate, she told me that since men are so visual, she
makes sure that everything she does in bed looks hot. But when she devel-
oped feelings for me, she discovered that she was no longer able to have sex
because the emotions opened wounds from childhood abuse. The visualiza-
tions ended.
Maya was a black-haired goth belly dancer I flirted with at one of her
performances. When our paths crossed months later, she still remembered
me. I invited her over the next night. Her car was in the shop, so I offered to
pay for a cab. She was there in a half hour.
Alexis was a clothing store manager who looked like she should have
been in an eighties new-wave band. Susanna was a recently divorced de-
signer who wanted to rediscover her sexuality. Doris was a married woman
whose sex life had died. Nadia was a librarian who had the skills of a porn
star; I guess you can learn a lot from books. All four were the result of an ex-
periment: I tried to concoct the perfect routine for the personals. After sev-
eral failures, I succeeded. The secret, I learned, was to seem like a selfish
prick in the ad, and then be a fascinating, laid-back gentleman on meeting.
Maggie and Linda were sisters; they're no longer talking to each other.
Anne was a French girl who didn't speak a word of English. Jessica was a
bookworm I met on jury duty. Faryal helped me call a tow truck when my
car broke down. Stef was handing out flyers for a strip club on Sunset
Boulevard. Susan was a friend's sister. Tanya was a neighbor.
My wish had come true. Women were no longer a challenge. They were
a pleasure.
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In the months since Mystery's breakdown, I'd turned a new corner in
my game. Once I'd gotten the number of a woman, it was easy to meet and
have sex with her. In the past, I was too obsessed with trying to get some to
actually take a step back, assess the situation, and act appropriately. Now,
after a year of accumulating knowledge and experience, I had finally gotten
out of my own head. I understood the process of attraction and the signals
women gave. I saw the big picture.
When talking to a woman, I could recognize the specific point when
she became attracted to me, even if she was acting distant or felt uncom-
fortable. I knew when to talk and when to shut up; when to push and when
to pull; when to tease and when to be sincere; when to kiss and when to say
we were moving too fast.
Whatever test, challenge, or objection a woman threw my way, I knew
how to respond. When Maya the belly dancer wrote and said, "Thanks for
the multiple orgasms. Call and we can discuss when you'll be taking me out
for dinner. You owe me for the cab ride, and I feel like being taken out on a
real date," I didn't assume she was a bitch or pushy at all. She just trying to
get validation for having put out so quickly and testing to see how much
she could control me. I didn't even need to think about the response.
"I'll tell you what," I wrote. "I'll pay you back for the cab, like I prom-
ised, and then you can take me out to dinner in exchange for all those or-
gasms." She took me out to dinner.
I saw the matrix.
I was Mystery.
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