“The Godfather” By Mario Puzo 150
sounded like. He had smashed the master record and refused to sing anymore. He was
so ashamed that he had not sung a note except with Nino at Connie Corleone’s
wedding.
He had never forgotten the look on Ginny’s face when she found out about all his
misfortunes. It had passed over her face only for a second but that was enough for him
never to forget it. It was a look of savage and joyful satisfaction. It was a look that could
only make him believe that she had contemptuously hated him all these years. She
quickly recovered and offered him cool but polite sympathy. He had pretended to accept
it. During the next few days he had gone to see three of the girls he had liked the most
over the years, girls he had remained friends with and sometimes still slept with in a
comradely way, girls that he had done everything in his power to help, girls to whom he
had given the equivalent of hundreds of thousands of dollars in gifts or job opportunities.
On their faces he had caught that same fleeting look of savage satisfaction.
It was during that time that he knew he had to make a decision. He could become like a
great many other men in Hollywood, successful producers, writers, directors, actors,
who preyed on beautiful women with lustful hatred. He could use power and monetary
favors grudgingly, always alert for treason, always believing that women would betray
and desert him, adversaries to be bested. Or he could refuse to hate women and
continue to believe in them.
He knew he could not afford not to love them, that something of his spirit would die if he
did not continue to love women no matter how treacherous and unfaithful they were. It
didn’t matter that the women he loved most in the world were secretly glad to see him
crushed, humiliated, by a wayward fortune; it did not matter that in the most awful way,
not sexually, they had been unfaithful to him. He had no choice. He had to accept them.
And so he made love to all of them, gave them presents, hid the hurt their enjoyment of
his misfortunes gave him. He forgave them knowing he was being paid back for having
lived in the utmost freedom from women and in the fullest flush of their favor. But now
he never felt guilty about being untrue to them. He never felt guilty about how he treated
Ginny, insisting on remaining the sole father of his children, yet never even considering
remarrying her, and letting her know that too. That was one thing he had salvaged out of
his fall from the top. He had grown a thick skin about the hurts he gave women.
He was tired and ready for bed but one note of memory stuck with him: singing with
Nino Valenti. And suddenly he knew what would please Don Corleone more than
anything else. He picked up the phone and told the operator to get him New York. He