What can you do if you are thirty and, suddenly, turning the corner of

The Garden Party

It was a perfect day for a garden party. The gardener had been working since early in the morning, cutting the grass. The roses looked perfect.

During breakfast, the men came to put up the marquee.
'Where do you want them to put the marquee, mother?'
'My dear child, don't ask me. This year, you children must do everything. You'll have to go, Laura.'
Laura went out into the garden, still holding a piece of bread and butter. She loved having to arrange things. But when she saw the men standing there with all their equipment, she felt shy. She wished she was not holding the bread and butter.
'Good morning,' she said, copying her mother's voice. But that sounded wrong and she continued, like a little girl, 'Oh — er — have you come — is it about the marquee?'
'That's right.'
The men were friendly, and Laura felt better. She wanted to say 'What a beautiful morning!' but she must be business-like.
'What about there?' she pointed.
But the men did not agree with her.
'Look here, miss, that's the place. Against those trees. Over there.'
She did not want the marquee to hide the beautiful trees, but the men were already moving off towards the trees. But the men were so nice. She liked them better than the boys she danced with and the boys who came to supper on Sunday night. She took a big bite of bread and butter.
Then someone called from the house, 'Laura, where are you? Telephone, Laura!'
'Coming!' She ran back to the house, across the garden. In the hall, her father and brother were getting ready to go to the office.
'I say, Laura,' said her brother, Laurie, speaking very fast,'could you just look at my coat before this afternoon?'
'I will,' she said. Suddenly, she added. 'Oh, I do love parties, don't you?'
'Yes,' he said in his warm and boyish voice, 'but don't forget the telephone.'
All the doors in the house were open. People ran from room to room, calling to each other. There was a strange sound — they were moving the piano. The front doorbell rang. It was the man from the flower shop. But there were so many beautiful flowers — Laura could not believe it.
'There must be some mistake!'
Her mother suddenly appeared. 'It's quite right. I ordered them. Aren't they lovely!'
They tried out the piano. Laura's sister sang. Then a servant came in and asked about the sandwiches. There were fifteen different kinds of sandwiches. Then a man came to deliver some cream cakes from the baker's shop.
'Bring them in and put them on the table,' ordered the cook.
Laura and her sister tried some of the cream cakes.Then Laura suggested,'Let's go into the garden, out by the back way.'
But they could not get through the back door. The cook and Sadie were there talking to the baker's man.
Something had happened.
Their faces were worried. The baker's man was telling them something.
'What's the matter? What's happened?'
'There's been a horrible accident,' said the cook. 'A man killed.'
'Killed! Where? How? When?'
'Do you know those little houses just below here, miss?'
Of course she knew them.
'Well, there's a young man living there, called Scott. He's a driver. His horse ran away at the corner of Hawke Street this morning, and he was thrown out onto the back of his head. He was killed.'
'Dead!' Laura stared at the man.
'Dead when they picked him up,' said the man. 'They were taking his body home as I came here.' He turned to the cook and added, 'He's left a wife and five little children.'
'How are we going to stop everything?' she asked her sister, Jose.
'Stop everything, Laura?'Jose cried. 'What do you mean?'
'Stop the garden party, of course.'
But Jose was surprised. 'Stop the garden party? My dear Laura, don't be so silly. Of course we can't stop the garden party.'
'But we can't possibly have a garden party with a man dead just outside the front gate.'
The houses where the dead man had lived were not exactly outside the front gate. Still, they were too near the house. They were ugly and poor. In their small gardens, there was nothing but a few weak vegetables, sick chickens, and old tomato tins. Children ran everywhere. When the Sheridan children were little, they were not allowed to go near those houses. They might catch some illness or learn some bad language from the children who lived there. Now that they were grown up, Laura and her sisters sometimes walked past the little houses. They found them horrible, but still they went, because they wanted to see everything.
'But the band. Just think what the band would sound like to that poor woman,' said Laura.
'Oh, Laura,' said Jose angrily. 'You can't stop a band playing every time someone has an accident. I'm sorry that the accident happened, too. I feel just as sorry as you do. But you won't bring that man back to life by feeling sad about it.'
'Well, I'm going straight up to tell mother.'
'Do, dear,' said Jose.

'Mother, can I come into your room?' Laura asked.

'Of course, child. Why, what's the matter?' Mrs Sheridan turned round. She was trying on a new hat.
'Mother, a man was killed this morning ...' Laura began to say.
'Not in the garden?' her mother asked. 'No, no!'
'Oh, how you frightened me!' Mrs Sheridan took off the big hat.
'But listen, Mother,' said Laura. She told the terrible story. 'Of course, we can't have our party, can we?' she asked. 'They will hear the band and everybody arriving. They'll hear us, Mother, they're nearly neighbours!'
To Laura's surprise, her mother behaved just like Jose. She even seemed to be amused. She refused to take Laura seriously.
'But my dear child, you must be sensible. We heard about it by accident. When someone dies there in the usual way, we don't know about it.Then we would still have our party, wouldn't we?'
'Mother, aren't we being heartless?' she asked.
'My dear child!' Mrs Sheridan got up and came over to Laura, carrying the hat. Before Laura could stop her, she put the hat on Laura's head. 'The hat is yours. It's much too young for me. You look lovely. Look at yourself!'
'But Mother ...' Laura began to say. She couldn't look at herself. She turned away from the mirror.
Mrs Sheridan was impatient. 'You are being very silly, Laura,' she said coldly. 'People like that don't want us to give up our parties.You're just spoiling everybody's enjoyment.'
'I don't understand,' said Laura. She walked quickly out of the room and into her own bedroom. There, the first thing she saw was a lovely girl in the mirror, in a big black hat with gold flowers. She could not believe it. She had never looked like that before. 'Is mother right?' she thought. And now, she hoped her mother was right. For a moment, she thought again about the poor woman in the little house with the five children. She thought about people carrying the dead man's body into the house. But now it seemed less real. It was like a picture in a newspaper. I'll remember it again after the party's over, she decided.
By half-past two, everything was ready for the party to begin.
The band had arrived. Then Laurie arrived and hurried away to change his clothes. Laura remembered the accident and wanted to tell him about it.
'Laurie!'
'Hello.' Laurie turned round and saw Laura in her new hat. His eyes grew big. 'Laura! You look wonderful!' said Laurie. 'What an absolutely beautiful hat!'
'Is it?' Laura said quietly. She smiled at Laurie and didn't tell him about the accident after all.
Soon after, the guests started to arrive. The band started to play, and waiters ran from the house to the marquee. There were people everywhere: walking around the garden, talking, looking at the flowers, moving on across the grass. They were like bright birds. Everyone was happy.They smiled into each other's eyes.
'Laura, how well you look!'
'Laura, what a lovely hat!'
'Laura, I've never seen you look so wonderful!'
And Laura answered softly, 'Have you had tea? Won't you have an ice?'
And the perfect afternoon slowly passed.
Laura helped her mother with the goodbyes. They stood side by side until it was all over.
'All over,' said Mrs Sheridan. 'Find the others, Laura. Let's go and have some coffee. I'm so tired.'
They all went out to the empty marquee.
Mr Sheridan ate a sandwich. He took another. 'I suppose you didn't hear about an awful accident that happened today?' he said.
'My dear,' said Mrs Sheridan,'we did. Laura wanted to stop the party.'
'Oh Mother!' Laura did not want anybody to laugh at her.
'All the same, it was a terrible thing,' said Mr Sheridan. 'The man was married too. He lived just below here, and he leaves a wife and children, they say.'
Everyone was silent. Mrs Sheridan wished her husband hadn't talked about the accident. Suddenly she saw all the food left on the table. She had an idea.
'I know,' she said. 'Let's make up a basket. Let's send some of this food to that poor woman. The children will love it. Don't you agree? The woman's sure to have people coming to the house. And it's all ready!' She jumped up. 'Laura! Get me that big basket!'
'But Mother, do you really think it's a good idea?' said Laura.
It was strange that once again, Laura was different from the others. "Would the poor woman really want the food left over from their party?
'Of course,' said her mother. 'What's the matter with you today?'
Laura ran for the basket. Her mother filled it with food.
'Take it yourself, Laura dear,' she said. 'Don't change your clothes. No, wait, take these flowers too. Poor people like flowers.'
'The flowers are wet. They'll spoil Laura's dress, 'Jose said.
'Only the basket then. Run along,' said her mother.
It was growing dark as Laura shut the garden gates. The little houses down below were in deep shadow. How quiet it seemed after the afternoon. She was still too full of the party to realize that she was going to visit the home of a dead man.
She crossed the broad road, and entered the dark, smoky little street. Women hurried past and men stood around. Children played outside the doors. There were weak lights inside the houses and shadows moved across the windows. Laura hurried on. She wished that she had put a coat on. Her dress shone, and her hat with the gold flowers seemed to be too big. People must be staring at her. It was a mistake to come. Should she go back home?
No, it was too late. This was the house. There was a dark little group of people standing outside. A woman, very old, sat on a chair next to the gate, with her feet on a newspaper. The voices stopped as Laura drew near. The group separated, as if they were waiting for Laura.
Laura was terribly nervous. 'Is this Mrs Scott's house?' she asked a woman.
The woman smiled strangely. 'It is.'
Laura wanted to go away. But she walked up the narrow path and knocked on the door. She felt the people silently staring at her. I'll just leave the basket and go, she decided. I won't wait for them to take all the things out of the basket.
Then the door opened. A little woman in black appeared.
Laura said,'Are you Mrs Scott?'
But the woman only answered, 'Walk in, please, miss,' and closed the door behind Laura.
'No,' said Laura, 'I don't want to come in. I only want to leave this basket. Mother sent —'
The little woman did not seem to hear her. 'This way, please, miss,' she said, and Laura followed her.
Laura found herself in the poor low little kitchen. The room was smoky and dark. There was a woman sitting in front of the fire.
'Em,' said the little woman who had let her in. 'Em! It's a young lady.' She turned to Laura. She said. 'I'm her sister, miss. You'll excuse her, won't you?'
'Oh, but of course!' said Laura. 'Please, please don't worry her. I — I only want to leave
But the woman in front of the fire turned round. She had been crying and her face looked terrible. She did not seem to understand why Laura was there. What did it mean? Why was this stranger standing in the kitchen with a basket? What was it all about? The poor woman began to cry again.
'It's all right, my dear,' said the other woman. 'I'll thank the
young lady'
Again she began to say, 'You'll excuse her, miss, I'm sure,' and 1 she tried to smile.
Laura only wanted to get out, to get away. She left the room. A door opened and she walked straight through into the bedroom, where the dead man was lying.
'You'd like to look at him, wouldn't you?' said Em's sister, and she went past Laura to the bed. 'Don't be afraid, miss,' she said, and she pulled down the cover. 'He looks like a picture. There's nothing to show where he was hurt. Come along, my dear.'
Laura came.
There lay a young man, fast asleep — sleeping so deeply that he was far, far away from them both. So far away, so peaceful. He was dreaming. Never wake him up again. His head lay on the soft pillow, his eyes were closed; they were blind under the closed eyelids. He was deep in his dream. What did garden parties and baskets and beautiful clothes matter to him? He was far from all those things. He was wonderful, beautiful. While they were laughing and while the band was playing, this wonderful thing was happening here. Happy ... happy ... 'All is well,' said that sleeping face. 'I am happy.'
But all the same you had to cry, and Laura couldn't go out of the room without saying something to him. Laura was crying loudly, like a child.
'Forgive my hat,' she said.
And this time she did not wait for Em's sister. She found her own way out of the door, down the path past all those people. At the corner of the street, she met Laurie.
Laurie appeared out of the shadows. 'Is that you, Laura?'
'Yes.'
'Mother was getting worried. Was it all right?'
'Yes. Oh Laurie!' she took his arm, and pressed against him.
'I say, you're not crying, are you?' asked her brother.
Laura shook her head. She was crying.
Laurie put his arm round her shoulder. 'Don't cry,' he said in his warm, loving voice. 'Was it awful?'
'No,' said Laura, still crying. 'It was wonderful. But Laurie —' She stopped, she looked at her brother. 'Isn't life,' she tried to say, 'isn't life -' But she couldn't explain what life was. It did not matter. Laurie understood perfectly.
'Isn't it, dear?' said Laurie.