Using the Shakespearean Insult handout, create 10 Shakespearean insults

The Insult Skit Contest

• 
  Using the Shakespearean Insult handout, create 10 Shakespearean insults.
  

• 
  Pair up with a partner.
  

• 
  Using the 20 insults you and your partner came up with, write a 30-line skit.
  

• 
  The skit must…
  
  • 
    Have 2 characters.
    
  • 
    Depict a disagreement or fight where the characters insult each other.
    
  • 
    Include all 20 of your insults.
    
  • 
    Be set in a school appropriate setting.
    
  • 
    Be written in as close to Shakespearean English as you can get (tips on back of sheet)
    

• 
  Skits will be performed in class. Scripts will be handed in after you perform, so make them easy to read.
  

Have fun and break a leg!

Insult Skit Scoring Rubric

Exceeds Standards: You must meet the requirements for a Meets Standard in addition to the following…This is an A

• 
  Appropriate props accompany the skit.
  

• 
  Students memorize their script.
  
• 
  Performance is delivered with sophistication and appropriate inflection.
  

Meets Standard: Your presentation needs to meet the following requirements… This is a B

• 
  Complete all the portfolio steps to acceptable levels – showing you understand your characters and why they are arguing.
  
• 
  The following items IN A FOLDER:
  
  • 
    10 Shakespearean Insults
    
  • 
    Correct heading on typed work
    
  • 
    Correct title on typed work (back story, script).
    
  • 
    Typed back story; typed, 12 point font, double spaced.
    
  • 
    Typed script; typed, 12 point font, double spaced.
    
  • 
    All writing assignments are neat and free of grammatical and mechanical errors.
    
• 
  Perform your prepared skit in front of a classroom audience.
  

Partially Meets Standard: Performs skit and meets 3-5 of the other Meets Standard requirements. This is a C-D
Does Not Meet Standard: Performs skit and meets fewer than 3 of the Meets Standard requirements. This is an F.

30-27 A 26-24 B 23-21 C 20-18 D 17 F

Shakespearian Translations:

Yes = Yea (pronounced “yay”) No = Nay Does = Doth (pronounced Duth—like dust, but with a “th” on the end) She doth covet the grapes in the basket. Has = Hath, or Hast She hath stolen those grapes. She hast stolen those apples. Your = Thy (possessive, like “your grapes”) She is throwing thy grapes at thy sister! Your = Thine (used instead of “thy” when the word after it starts with a vowel—sort of like we use “a” and “an”) Thy carrots are fresher than thine onions. Yours = Thine These moldy carrots are thine. You = Thou (usually at the beginning of a sentence or clause) Thou hast stolen my apples. You = Thee (usually at the end of a sentence or clause) Thou hast stolen those apples thou hast with thee. Are = Art Thou art beautiful as the sun. Beautiful = Fair Thou art fair as the sun even, evening=e’en Good e’en; E’en then I will spite you. fare-thee-well=goodbye

While = Whilst I’ll serenade thee whilst thou wait. Often = Oft I have oft thought of you. Could = Couldst Couldst thou buy me some carrots? Would = Wouldst Wouldst thou like some carrots? Beautiful = Fair Thou art fair as the sun. Before = Ere ‘T will be many days ere you see me again Soon = Anon Thy carriage shall be here anon. Morning = Morrow Good morrow to you, friend; would you like some carrots? Probably = Belike He sells moldy carrots, belike for want of money. Why? = Wherefore? Wherefore didst thou sell me moldy carrots? ***There is no translation for:*** The I, me, my, mine

Phrases:
Go away! = Get thee gone!

Get off me, stop touching me! = Unhand me!

Please, I pray thee = Prithee Example: Prithee, take thy carrots someplace else.

Because someone wants, or because someone is lacking = for want of

He sells moldy carrots, belike for want of money

I think = Methinks Example: Methinks I will not buy thy carrots.

‘Swounds! = (literally, God’s wounds) a mild oath

Fie! = a stronger oath; a curse

Fie on’t = (literally, Fie on it) a stronger oath. This situation makes me very upset!
Ways to make it sound like Shakespeare:

Put “eth” on the end of verbs instead of “s”

She runs (or she is running) away! = She runneth away!

Use old words instead of modern words

Your car is blocking my car, you idiot. = Thy carriage dost hinder the passage of my carriage, thou lumbering clod.

Never use one word when two will do! Add words like “right,” well,” and “most” to your speech: She doth wash right industrious. Thou are most beauteous fair. I’ faith though dost sing most marvelous well.

Choose a word from each column to form your own Shakespearean insult. Begin with “Thou”; then hurl the phrase at an unsuspecting bystander. Now have fun, thou odiferous fly-bitten hugger-mugger!



Column 1
Artless

Bawdy

Bootless

Churlish

Craven

Dankish

Distempered

Droning

Errant

Fawning

Fitful

Gnarling

Gorbellied

impertinent

Infectious

Jarring

Knavish

Lumpish

Lewd

Mammering

Mewling

Odiferous

Peevish

Pernicious

Puking

Puny

Purpled

Queasy

Rank

Reeky

Saucy

Spleeny

Spongy

Tottering

Unmuzzled

Vain

Warped

Wart-necked

Wenching


Column 2
Bat-fowling

Beef-witted

Beetle-headed

Clay-brained

Common-kissing

Dizzy-eyed

Dog-hearted

Earth-vexing

Evil-eyed

Eye-offending

Fat-kidneyed

Flap-mouthed

Fly-bitten

Fool-born

Guts-griping

Hasty-witted

Hell-hated

Hunch-backed

Idle-headed

Ill-nurtured

Lily-livered

Mad-bread

Motley-minded

Onion-eyed

Pale-hearted

Pox-marked

Reeling-ripe

Rough-hewn

Rude-growing

Rug-headed

Rump-fed

Scurvy-valiant

Shag-eared

Sheep-biting

Sour-faced

Swag-bellied

Tickle-brained

Toad-spotted

Unwash’d

Weak-hinged

Column 3
Baggage

Barnacle

Bladder

Bugbear

Canker-blossom

Clot pole

Codpiece

Death-token

Eggshell

Flap-dragon

Foot-licker

Gull-catcher

Harpy

Hedge-pig

Hempseed

Horn-beast

Hugger-mugger

Jack-a-nape

Knave

Lewdster

Lout

Maggot-pie

Malt-worm

Malignancy

Minimus

Minnow

Moldwarp

Mumble-news

Nut-hook

Pantaloon

Pigeon-eggs

Pignut

Rampallion

Rascal

Ratsbane

Remant

Scallion

Snipe

Strumpet

Toad

Wench

Whipster

Name: ____________________________________________________ Hour: ______

Write a paragraph to set up your Shakespearean insult. You will include this with your script and introduce it to the class when you perform. Include the following in your paragraph: the sex, age, and occupation of the characters; a description of the setting and when this scene takes place; and what is the conflict that causes the fight.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
When you are done setting the scene, begin creating your insults. Remember EACH person must have 10 insults total! Using your Shakespearean insult chart, combine words to create ten insults. You will include these insults in your skit.
Example: Thou peevish beetle-headed barnacle!
1) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________
2) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________
3) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________
4) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________

5) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________

6) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________
7) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________
8) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________
9) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________
10) Thou ______________________ ___________________ __________________