Chapter 29: Eliminate everything that annoys you
“Great things are done by a series of small things brought together”
Vincent van Gogh
“It isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out. It’s the grain of sand in your
shoe.”
Robert Service
This is usually one of the first exercises I do with my coaching clients.
Everything that annoys you drains your energy.
In coaching, we call it
tolerations
.
For example, a missing button on your favorite shirt, the dirty
shower curtain, a kitchen cupboard that doesn’t close, your boss micromanaging
you, money owed to you, a disorganized guest room, broken tools, a messy and
disorganized desk, clothes that don’t fit any more
etc.
are tolerations. For as long
as you don’t fix them they keep draining your energy. As soon as you eliminate
them you will have more energy to concentrate on the things that move you
forward.
So your exercise will be to make a list of all the things that annoy you:
in your
private life, your job, your house, your friends, yourself,
etc.
Don’t get scared if you write down 50 to 100 things. It’s normal. Once you write
them all down group them. Which ones are easy to handle? Which ones can
YOU handle? For now, leave the ones that don’t depend on you. Have a look at
them after two or three weeks. The funny thing I’ve seen with my clients is that
some of the tolerations that don’t depend on you disappear on their own once
you take care of the ones that you can handle.
For example, my client Martina had huge problems with a colleague at work. He
really drained her energy. She worked on the tolerations she could handle and
the list got emptier. Three months later her colleague suddenly changed jobs and
left the company! Now was that just a coincidence or was it a consequence of
her working on her tolerations? I’ll leave the choice to you. Fact is that she is a
lot happier at work now! Try it out for yourself and keep me posted!
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