Chapter 48: Forgive everybody who has wronged you (…and most of all yourself)
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
“People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.” Bill Cosby
Forgiveness is crucial along your way towards success, fulfillment and
happiness! Personally I needed a long, long time to learn this! Why forgive
someone if the person did me wrong and it's only their fault?
The short answer: It's a selfish act! You're doing it for yourself, not for the other person! This is
not about being right or wrong! This is about you being well and not losing a lot
of energy! Anger and resentment and - even worse - reliving hate over and over
again are huge energy drains! Who has sleepless nights? Who is full of anger
and doesn't enjoy the present moment? You or the person you're not forgiving?
Do yourself a favor and let go! When a journalist asked the Dalai Lama whether
he is angry at the Chinese for occupying his country, he answered: “Not at all. I
send them love and forgiveness. It's of no benefit at all to be angry at them. It
will not change them, but I could get an ulcer from my anger and that would
actually benefit THEM.” Adapt the attitude of the Dalai Lama toward the people
who have done you wrong and see what happens. Let go, forgive the people that
hurt you, forget them and move on. But be careful.
If you say “I forgive them, but I don’t forget” you are not forgiving! This doesn't mean you can't put
limits on others’ behavior or call them out on the spot. But afterwards understand
the consequences and let go. Call up people that you have wronged or hurt, and
apologize, and if that’s too uncomfortable write them a letter.
