parents are not “super-Christians,” Joshuah feels a very strong connection to his religion. This is a
foreign feeling to many readers, but Joshuah recognizes this possibility and is careful to describe not
just a dedication to God that may not make sense to some, but the way that dedication makes him feel
—emotions that anyone can relate to.
Joshuah also avoids the common trap of centering an essay on something other than oneself.
Often, essays about important figures in one’s life—parents,
grandparents, good friends—convince
an admissions
officer that the person
described
is
a wonderful human being, but do little for the
applicant’s case. In this instance, Joshuah describes his feelings toward God, but still keeps the story
about himself.
This well-crafted essay does everything a personal statement should do: It gives the reader a sense
of the applicant as a person and it demonstrates Joshuah’s ability to write coherently and cohesively,
while also maintaining the originality the best essays need to stand out.
—Indrani G. Das