50 Successful Harvard Application Essays

I
SAAC 
A
LTER
Better Than Band Camp
“This one time, at flute camp—”
“Wait, what?”
Yes, I said flute camp.
It’s a week in Carmel Valley, California, full of amazing and musically engaging experiences for
middle and high school age flutists—
I sound like an advertisement. Let’s try again.
It’s the best week of my summer. Every year.
For one week every year, I get to spend all my time being an unrestrained flute nerd with awesome
friends who are just as flute nerdy. (Or, if they’re not, they won’t judge me for being one.) Every
single person there knows the Chaminade Concertino, a “flute anthem” that I could never discuss with
any of my other friends without them looking at me like I was crazy.
At flute camp, we play hard and … play harder. We spend essentially all of our waking hours
playing or practicing flute, watching performances, and listening to flute-related seminars. One such
seminar was called “Tricks from Harry Flotter: Ridikkulus Scales!” Yeah, it’s that cool. It sounds
boring, but it literally never gets old, in part because I get to share all of it with some of my closest
friends in the world. In addition to the scheduled activities, we always gather during our breaks to
play card games (for years, we’ve been unable to stop playing “Five Crowns”), eat, or just talk about
our lives (flutists tend to be drama queens, so this is always enjoyable). The isolated environment and
our shared passion unite us and create lasting bonds; I stay in contact with my flute camp friends all
year, no matter how far away they live.
Flute camp saved me. No, really. Before I first attended in 2009, playing the flute was an activity
that was slowly drifting toward the periphery of my busy life; I practiced occasionally and
indifferently. I left my first camp feeling more inspired than ever before—inspired to become a better
musician and flutist, inspired to make flute a bigger part of my life. Hearing other flute players and
learning about flute nonstop for a week straight always leave me with innumerable ideas about how to
improve my own playing: What if I try out a faster vibrato like Catherine? How can I make my sound
more like Noah’s? In addition, the seminars about how to improve so many different aspects of flute
playing always make me feel empowered, by giving me the willpower and the skills to take my
playing up a notch (flute pun intended).
Now, playing the flute is my greatest extracurricular passion. It’s quite literally an addiction. I need
my flute “fix,” or else I fall into periods of ennui and boredom with my school routine. Practicing
flute is my way of de-stressing, of expressing myself, of having fun. There are simply not enough

---

hours in the day for me to play flute as much as I want.
Flute camp taught me how to put my all into something I love, a lesson I have applied to all areas
of my life; I now understand how to truly delve into a topic or an activity simply because it makes me
happy.
That one time at flute camp changed my life.
REVIEW
A tongue-in-cheek tone is not a bad strategy for this kind of essay. He describes a relatively common
experience (and one easily mocked) in a memorable way that also demonstrates his commitment and
enthusiasm to that particular activity. The essay, and his personality as the flute kid, instantly stands
out to the admissions committee. The defining levity of the piece also serves as a foil for the heartfelt
and serious ending. He does not take himself too seriously but still appreciates the relatively serious
lessons he has learned from the experience. Through humor, he essentially turns the potentially weak
point of his essay into its strength.
Unfortunately, his attempts at humor overwhelm the essay to the point of distraction. Jokes that
first present themselves as novel quickly become overdone. Isaac’s essay would have significantly
benefited from even a slight moderation in tone. His last two sentences are very good. They place the
subject of his essay in relation to his individual personality very well and end on an inspirational note.
He appreciates a particular opportunity and recognizes how it has changed him as a person. It’s just
that those two sentences are only two sentences. Had he limited his use of jokes more strategically and
explained the significance of the experience earlier, it would be a truly great essay, a charming and
heartfelt piece on the importance of finding and developing your passion.
—Raul P. Quintana

---