50 Successful Harvard Application Essays

S
ARA 
P
RICE
Bands of Experience
The fabric that constitutes my life is a fusion of multitudinous hues and textures, shut away in a box
under my bed only to be retrieved in preparation for each day. My personality is best conveyed
through these minute fragments of my existence, manifested in a headband collection.
I have been accumulating decorative headgear for over a decade, and have built an assortment
nearly three hundred strong. The array includes massive, miniscule, plastic, and cloth, with a span of
colors far exceeding the range of the rainbow. Such variation exists because each headband
encapsulates my identity on a given day. Thus, the story of my life is unearthed every morning when I
unfasten this uncanny box of memories.
Today, in the midst of burrowing for the perfect topper to my tresses, I encounter the glossy white
headband that was once a versatile staple of my adolescent wardrobe. As I caress its smooth ivory
surface, I instantaneously feel the fleeting freedom of childhood I once experienced as it cradled my
cranium. The girl who wore this accessory was boundlessly charismatic and endlessly expressive, an
intrinsic actress lacking the proper stage. I was but a young teenager unable to afford drama camp or
acting lessons, dreaming of one day shining in the spotlight.
Amid my reminiscing I come across a soft burgundy headband perfectly matching my
corresponding uniform polo, which I donned on the intended date of my inaugural high school play
audition. Although in my eager anticipation I felt my act was as coordinated as my outfit, my
sophomoric self was in for a shock. Laryngitis paralyzed my voice that fateful morning, and I had to
hoarsely mouth an explanation to the drama director in disappointment. Generously, he gave me a
small part regardless because he knew of my unremitting work ethic. Determined to grasp that chance
by exceeding his expectations for excellence, I invested my entire emotional energy into a comedic
improvisational exercise at my first practice. After a short bout of speechlessness, the drama club
burst into an amalgamation of applause and laughter. Finally, my routine began to emerge from
behind the curtain.
Soon the faint shimmering of glitter jolts my musing forward as I recall the evening I displayed a
certain purple headband as a costume component. It augmented my guise as the Enchantress, the first
of three roles I played in 
Beauty and the Beast
. Over a year had passed since my ill-fated audition, and
at last all eyes focused as me as I opened the show with a brief self-choreographed routine. I basked in
the exhilarating joy of acting, enhanced by my renewed understanding of the immense resolve
required to seize the stage. My headbands accompanied me through the entire journey, and thus they
are of great personal value.
It seems peculiar that the most precious artifacts I possess sell for approximately $1 each. Yet these

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bands are my treasures, as they hold my past experiences while stretching to encompass the
performances held in my future.
REVIEW
Sara adopts a unique and innovative approach to her essay; instead of speaking directly about her
love of theater, she presents this passion through the framework of her headband collection. This
narrative structure gives her an avenue to exhibit the multifaceted nature of her personality, which she
describes to be as varied as her array of headbands.
Throughout her essay, Sara reveals herself to be capable of highly evocative imagery that
successfully skirts oversentimentality. There are a few aspects of her essay that can be improved,
however. First, her headbands are given a large amount of credit in the first two paragraphs—it is too
much to say that “the story of [her] life is unearthed every morning” when she puts on her headgear.
Additionally, much of the language in the essay is overwritten. Using more subdued language to
express the significance of her headbands would convey the same message while maintaining
credibility. Her word choice is excessive—her use of words like “multitudinous,” “minute,”
“donned,” “unremitting,” and “amalgamation” is at best unnecessary and at worst misleading.
With all of that said the last paragraph of the essay is quite commendable: The line on the $1
monetary value of her headbands is very memorable and, the final sentence ties all parts of the essay
together, providing a highly effective conclusion for what is ultimately a deeply personal and
revealing essay.
—Melody Y. Guan

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