Ask More: The Power of Questions to Open Doors, Uncover Solutions, and Spark Change pdfdrive com

Origins: What’s going on? How are you feeling? These big, open-ended
questions are ridiculously simple, but asked intentionally and accompanied by
good listening, they grant running room and license. They invite people to open
up and they drive a conversation that, with good follow-up questions, can
become deeply revealing and rewarding.
Brick by Brick: Rather than throwing a big question at someone and expecting
a big answer, which can be overwhelming, use a methodical step-by-step
approach that explores detail and pattern. The questions should be pursued
deliberately and with purpose to break the issue down while heading toward a
destination. Ask in sequence and for increasing detail. What was your family
like? Did you have dinner together? What did you talk about? What did you
argue about? What made you laugh?
Appreciative Inquiry: What are the most significant things you’ve done?
What’s the best part of your job? These questions frame the subject in a positive
direction so that a constructive framework can be noted and built. The question
“appreciates” the anticipated response, which can connect to other positive
thoughts and ideas. Follow up or ask about something positive and you might
take the conversation in an entirely different direction.
Empathic listening is riveted to words, tone, pacing, pauses, and

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expressions. But it also involves facial expressions and affect. What you hear
and see helps you read the conversation and connect with your next question.
Intimate Distance: How does this make you feel? I’m not judging, I’m just
listening. Be intimate enough to ask, distant enough to maintain perspective. If
you are going to engage emotions, it’s often best to embrace them without
getting caught up in them.
Listen: What are indicators that someone is opening up or sharing something
intensely private? Listen for words that convey intense feeling or suggest stress,
fear, insecurity, a hidden piece of the past or, on the positive side, deep gratitude,
happiness, or tranquility. Listen for clues about the origins of these feelings. Pay
special attention to whether this information is being offered willingly or
hesitantly, for the first time or with trepidation and use these cues as indicators
to keep going or back off. Listen especially hard for anything that might require
more expertise than you bring to the conversation.
Try: Conduct and thirty-minute “interview” where the only thing you do is ask
questions of the other person. Keep your questions brief and to the point—a
single sentence should do it most of the time. Have a starting point—the
person’s time in the military or in college or growing up in a small town. Listen
and follow up with another question. Do not make comments or observations.
There are two words you may not use in your questions: “I” and “me.” This
discussion is exclusively focused on the other person. See if you can keep it
there.

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BRIDGING QUESTIONS
Bridging questions connect with people who are wary, reluctant, hostile, distant,
or menacing. These questions begin by getting people talking, in hopes of
establishing rapport, perhaps even trust. These questions may work subtly and
over time. They are framed to encourage and reinforce. They are deliberate, and
at times manipulative. They can be questions without question marks.