George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication

side of the room].
LADY UTTERWORD
. Ingratiating myself indeed! [With
dignity]. Very well, papa. [She sits down at the drawing-table
and pours out tea for herself].
THE CAPTAIN
. I am neglecting my social duties. You re-
member Dunn? Billy Dunn?
LADY UTTERWORD
. Do you mean that villainous sailor
who robbed you?
THE CAPTAIN 
[introducing Ellie]. His daughter. [He sits

---

45
GB Shaw
down on the sofa].
ELLIE 
[protesting]. No—
Nurse Guinness returns with fresh tea.
THE CAPTAIN
. Take that hogwash away. Do you hear?
NURSE
. You’ve actually remembered about the tea! [To Ellie].
Oh, miss, he didn’t forget you after all! You have made an
impression.
THE CAPTAIN 
[gloomily]. Youth! beauty! novelty! They are
badly wanted in this house. I am excessively old. Hesione is
only moderately young. Her children are not youthful.
LADY UTTERWORD
. How can children be expected to
be youthful in this house? Almost before we could speak we
were filled with notions that might have been all very well
for pagan philosophers of fifty, but were certainly quite unfit
for respectable people of any age.
NURSE
. You were always for respectability, Miss Addy.
LADY UTTERWORD
. Nurse, will you please remember
that I am Lady Utterword, and not Miss Addy, nor lovey,
nor darling, nor doty? Do you hear?
NURSE
. Yes, ducky: all right. I’ll tell them all they must call
you My Lady. [She takes her tray out with undisturbed placidity].
LADY UTTERWORD
. What comfort? what sense is there
in having servants with no manners?
ELLIE 
[rising and coming to the table to put down her empty
cup]. Lady Utterword, do you think Mrs Hushabye really
expects me?
LADY UTTERWORD
. Oh, don’t ask me. You can see for
yourself that I’ve just arrived; her only sister, after twenty-
three years’ absence! and it seems that I am not expected.
THE CAPTAIN
. What does it matter whether the young
lady is expected or not? She is welcome. There are beds: there
is food. I’ll find a room for her myself [he makes for the door].
ELLIE 
[following him to stop him]. Oh, please—[He goes out].
Lady Utterword, I don’t know what to do. Your father persists
in believing that my father is some sailor who robbed him.
LADY UTTERWORD
. You had better pretend not to no-
tice it. My father is a very clever man; but he always forgot
things; and now that he is old, of course he is worse. And I
must warn you that it is sometimes very hard to feel quite
sure that he really forgets.

---

46
Heartbreak House
Mrs Hushabye bursts into the room tempestuously and embraces
Ellie. She is a couple of years older than Lady Utterword, and
even better looking. She has magnificent black hair, eyes like the
fishpools of Heshbon, and a nobly modelled neck, short at the
back and low between her shoulders in front. Unlike her sister
she is uncorseted and dressed anyhow in a rich robe of black pile
that shows off her white skin and statuesque contour.
MRS HUSHABYE
. Ellie, my darling, my pettikins [kissing
her], how long have you been here? I’ve been at home all the
time: I was putting flowers and things in your room; and
when I just sat down for a moment to try how comfortable
the armchair was I went off to sleep. Papa woke me and told
me you were here. Fancy your finding no one, and being
neglected and abandoned. [Kissing her again]. My poor love!
[She deposits Ellie on the sofa. Meanwhile Ariadne has left the