Clients‟ experience of counselling within a narrative framework
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CHAPTER NINE
CONCLUSIONS “Thought is no longer theoretical. As soon as it functions it offends or reconciles, attracts or repels, breaks, dissociates, unites or re-unites; it cannot help but liberate and enslave. Even before prescribing, suggesting a future, saying what must be done, even before exhorting or merely sounding an alarm, thought, at the level of its existence, in its very dawning, is in itself an action – a perilous act. (Foucault 1977;5) 9.1 Introduction This chapter first looks at the differences between the two studies to show how the overall process of the work impacted on it. Then possible changes to the study in the light of completing it are looked at. Next the findings are reconnected with the literature firstly in relation to the poetic method for collecting data which highlights how the poetic/melancholic stance of the work evokes opposition; secondly in relation to the theory concepts and process of the work which intertwine yet when viewed together also bring some clarity to their inherent confusion; thirdly in relation to the findings poems which link my lived experience to the process of the work. The contributions that the study brings to practice, methodology and knowledge are examined and followed by some recommendations for future research. 9.2 Differences between the two studies The comparative shortness of the pilot study journals that were kept for fifteen weeks is in sharp contrast to the much longer narratives of the main study. At first sight the difference in length and the fact that the theme was not disclosed in the pilot study, but was disclosed in the main 252 study appear to be the only differences. The main difference is in each analysis and the processes that followed. Knowing the theme of the research did appear to make a difference to the data of the main study. Freedom was a key word/desire in some of the narratives whereas this was hardly demonstrated in the pilot study. One pilot study participant wrote once that she was free to be herself and another wrote „free-flowing speech‟ suggesting that she was speaking freely without really thinking about what she was saying. Otherwise the term freedom as such was not mentioned. But words and phrases that could be interpreted as pertaining to freedom were present, like wanting to escape from the counselling, or wanting to find their own thoughts. The verb „contain‟ was also used in the main study narratives while only being used once in one journal in the pilot data. However the pilot study data did use words that suggested or alluded to containment. They suggested that what containment may be seen as providing in the positive sense of feeling safe or understood was present. The opposite feelings of being trapped or cornered were also present in the pilot data suggesting the other side of containment. Opposition was present in both study narratives. In the pilot study I had to search for the concepts and learn more about them from the data and the literature. It is here that the understanding and interpretation of words takes on a crucial role. It is also where poetic skills and the interpretation of the narratives become vital to the work. If the original pilot study participants had known the theme I might not have had to search for the concepts in the same way. The pilot study established the presence of the concepts and gave credibility to the research through the participants‟ responses to the analysis. They agreed with 253 the analysis in the sense that I had discovered aspects of their inner worlds that they felt had not been visible in the journal data. It is their feedback that gives credibility to the findings. It could be argued that I found what I was looking for but the participants‟ feedback suggests that the analysis is valid. Looking for opposition, discovering the construct and the poetic stance of the work all aided the interpretation of the data. The main study added to the depth of this learning and clarified my understanding of the categories that had emerged from the pilot study. It enabled the idea of the construct of the containment-freedom polarity to develop into a continuum. The study seemed to need all the time it took including the breaks that apparently interrupted it, yet perhaps enabled it to evolve. In the first few years of the study I had felt easily criticised by more experienced researchers when I used my own voice. But as time and experience allowed the narrative to emerge my voice began to gain confidence. I needed to use the power of the Beast to defend my voice. In this way, using my voice, or all my voices as a counsellor, researcher, writer and story teller of the participants‟ stories and my story, I let go of inappropriate criticism and owned my voice. Qualitative postmodern research methodologies suggest that claiming ownership of the whole of this process is appropriate for: “The researcher is always speaking partially naked and is genuinely open to legitimate criticism from participants and from audience. Some researchers are silenced by the invitation to criticism contained in the expression of voice” (Clandinin and Connelly 1994; 423-424). 254 Owning my own voice and becoming open to legitimate criticism enables the narrative to grow as my voice speaks through my words and improves my writing ability. My lived experience of research was growing alongside the study as was my ability to listen to and trust my voice. As these abilities grew I felt more confident and realized that analysing the main study and writing the findings poems used more of my ability as a writer. In this way the writing itself became part of the inquiry for as Speedy (2005) states, writing is: “a form of research that uses writing both as a research tool or craft in its own right and/or as a method of re-presenting the words of participants” (63). The writing itself seems to have become part of the methodology (Speedy et al 2005) in that it tells a story which is made up of many stories. It includes a narrative approach which incorporates the whole, the narrative of the participants, the findings poems and all the conversations between me and the participants that took place over time. In this sense it creates an “ongoing conversation” (Speedy et al; 67) that is invited and encouraged by the texts within the whole. It is the processes of analysing both studies improving my writing skills over time and owning the confidence I have in my own voice that creates the main difference between the studies. 9.3 Possible changes to the study Looking back at the study now, I feel that it might have been of benefit to have been more persistent in looking to find participants via counselling centres so that they would have had no training connection to counselling. From their narratives it is possible to see that four participants 255 have some understanding of the counselling process and this could be seen as influencing the research. However their own words also suggest that their cognitive knowledge did not influence their process. For example when Wriggling Fish mentions separation she adds „even the dogs‟ which made me realize that something else was also happening. It seems that the poetic method enabled unconscious messages to override their cognitive understanding. In other words their cognitive understanding may be seen as a defence which their unconscious displayed for what it was while revealing the hidden processing of the unconscious. My concern originally was also that clients with no connection to counselling might lack sufficient commitment to take part in the study. However the one participant who had no counselling training connections demonstrated that just her counselling gave her the commitment to take part in the research, suggesting that my concern about commitment was groundless. It also reminds me that I should listen to my own words, the words in this study and learn from the experience of the client. Yet this one participant could also be seen as the saving grace of this study because by having her alongside the others it is possible to see that they each wrote their own stories and any connection to counselling just became part of the story. I am also aware that no men took part in the study. Perhaps finding participants via counselling centres might have provided male participants. The tendency in the analysis demonstrates that all participants struggled to find the Beast or the freedom to be themselves. Their place in their internal worlds as Beauty who tends to do what others expect of her gave each of them a similar starting place. It would be interesting to see whether or not there is a male-female divide. In other words would men be more in touch with their power, their Beast who has no care for others and struggles to connect with Beauty as the one who cares for others. It will take another research study to find out. 256 9.4 A new poetic method The method used for collecting data proved itself to be complementary in that it fitted with the counselling process. The narratives produced by asking participants to write just a few words or phrase on each line evoked a melancholic state (Hilton 1971) in participants that highlighted opposition. They provide insight into the client‟s experience of counselling as well as demonstrating movement in the emotional shifts that become visible and felt through opposition and metaphor. The literature review saw how Ricoleur (1978) suggests that metaphor describes reality and how Britton (2003) suggests that the abstract, that which cannot be spoken is brought into being by symbols. However the participants‟ narratives seem to do more in that they present their lived and felt experience on the page. As was hoped the writing itself becomes a container (Satamurti 2003; Lago 2004) for the participants‟ feeling and experiencing selves. For alone, but in the presence of their others they discover the freedom to find their authentic (Rogers 1961) selves. It seems that such a method creates a space that makes it possible to learn more about the client‟s experience which Lott (1999) felt was so lacking in counselling literature. Gee (1991) feels that writing with such short phrases is a natural form of expression while Maltby (2003) suggests the use of lines disrupts the normal logic of sentences. However in this study it also enables participants to talk to their denied/hidden selves, as if a natural way of talking with ourselves is provided by such writing. Such a reflexive way of being enables the muffled and silent selves (Hunt 2004) of the participants to find a voice. The most interesting outcome/finding from the study for me, and perhaps for other counsellors, is that the participants‟ ability to tolerate opposition came from their sadness or melancholic way of being. I found this space after trauma enabled me to howl out the agony of opposition and anguish as I gave my feelings validity through writing poetry. The safety of the journal space 257 allowed the participants the validity of their feelings as they re-experienced past events and the sadness these evoked. This fit with the melancholic poetic/reflexive stance that brings opposition into focus is crucial to this study. Although as counsellors we might have a sense of this from our work, to see it on the page gives credibility to the work we do. The opposition creates tension or friction within the participants and enables them to make emotional shifts within themselves. Emotional movement/transformation in the internal world of the client does seem to be visible in the journal narratives. It confirms our understanding of how, when clients are able to reflexively re-experience their previously denied feelings or experiences, they relate to the opposition within these states and are able to move emotionally as opposed to being stuck. 9.5 Theory concepts and process The literatures demonstrate that the concepts of containment freedom and polarity are recognized as present in the world of counselling and psychotherapy. Jung‟s writing on the presence of opposition, polarity and instinctual processes gave authority to these concepts and helped clarify the categories that emerged within the main construct. Polarity, the pull between two poles of opposition that appears to create emotional shifts within the individual became visible in the participants‟ narratives. These narratives demonstrated the presence of opposition within the participants‟ internal worlds and this was confirmed by their responses to the analysis and the findings poems. The participants were also able to express some understanding of the categories which gives credence to the idea of a containment-freedom polarity as a construct for understanding the client‟s experience. Aspects of the client‟s experience of containment demonstrated the polarity of this concept in the participants‟ descriptions of being trapped/stuck or safe/cared for; while the polarity of freedom 258 is demonstrated in their metaphors of power/confidence and agitation/frustration. Opposition becomes visible in the participants‟ opposing desires which seem to be encouraged by the melancholic poetic stance as unconscious messages are released and discovered within the narratives. The instinctual processes that Jung (1969) describes are at once visible in the participants‟ inability to change and then transformed through opposition into Rennie‟s (2001) and Foucault‟s (1984) agency as they begin to change and make choices. In a similar way the client‟s merged state which Winnicott (1965; 1971) suggests is needed for the client to learn how to use the counsellor may be visible in the participants‟ desire to be cared for by/be the same as the counsellor; while their process of separation may be seen in their metaphors that describe waking up, being turned on, like Mahler, Pine and Bergman‟s (1975) hatching process. So much information emerged that intertwined theory, experience and the concepts that I omitted the attraction of polarity on the original continuum. This lack omits the idea of the poles of opposition being drawn towards to each other. This is made clearer by adding attraction to the continuum. (p.259). The containment-freedom continuum perhaps does help demonstrate how the categories are all essential if emotional movement is to occur. With containment and freedom at either end of the continuum it shows that each category may be an integral part of movement, as if to reach one it may be necessary to pass through other categories. As the axis of the continuum, uncontained-unfree (the stuck position) perhaps holds the key to understanding the construct and as such is easily recognized by all the participants. Understanding from the analysis that this was a place from where they could look around and see where they were gave it meaning, it was more and less than just being stuck. In the same way all |