participation problem. Still, some of these issues might have been indicative of
program failures, or the lack of structured program opportunities, or other barriers to
participation such as “lack of voice” (Hall & Donaldson, 1997, as cited in Merriam &
Caffarella, 1999, p. 58) and the way a woman feels about her self-confidence and her
ability to express herself.
Motivation
Of all the possible reasons for her inability to achieve fluency in English, the
wavering motivation might have been the most basic factor. Ching had never found
an interest in English, nor was she particularly interested in relocating from Taiwan to
the U.S. She had had previous opportunities to immigrate but preferred her native
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home. “Taiwan has everything” she was prone to say, though she enjoyed travel
immensely. She would inevitably follow that proclamation with an animated story
about the days when apples were an import commodity, and expensive, too, in
contrast to modern day abundance and agricultural development.
Perhaps her attachment to the Island of Treasure was her downfall in the
English learning challenge. While she was motivated by a need for social interaction,
she admittedly found little about the people and culture of the U.S. that truly
interested her. She was, of course, steeped in the deep cultural tradition of thousands
of years of rich, cultural history, and born on an island famous for its hospitable
people. It would take quite a lot to impress a loyal Taiwanese who had ridden the
economic miracle of the island from the simple countryside of her youth to the
bustling modernity of one of the Four Asian Dragons. As far as she was concerned,
everything the U.S. had, Taiwan had as well, and more, since her family was there.
In Taiwan, Ching was a highly valued friend, sister, daughter, aunt, and niece.
She was a trusted confidant and counsel and had often been the cornerstone or her
family, solving problems, smoothing rough spots, challenging expectations and
spurring communication among family members in times of celebration and success,
failure and strife. She felt, and was, important to many people. She never replaced
that in the U.S., except for providing the sunshine her smile brought to a few
colleagues and work acquaintances.
Blue skies are magnificent, but the mere existence of a populated, physical
environment does not a culture make. It was often a comparison for Ching;
everything good, bad, special, or unique that she saw or experienced in U.S. was
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flattened against any parallel she could find with Taiwan. It seemed as though her
motivation to learn English paled in comparison with her longing for the joys of home
and desire to simply appreciate and celebrate her beloved Taiwan. For Ching, a
highly social and outgoing person, the social sacrifices she was forced to make were
very painful and these challenges compounded her difficulty in adjusting to life in a
new country and in finding fulfillment in a very individualistic society. More than a
lack of motivation, her inability to effectively communicate in English severely
limited her ability to engage herself in the social environment of suburban America.
Researcher: When you go out, do you look forward to talking to people or are
you afraid to talk to people?
Learner: I afraid talk to people, but I very happy I from. . . um, ok, that time’s
1998, I just first time been the United States, I don’t know how to speak
English and I went to the McDonalds. And, morning, lots of old people, they
just talking, and they just say “hi” for me, and for me its very comfortable like
that, and I just smile. . . and they just ask me “where you come from?” I just
say I come from Taiwan. . . and we just little bit of conversation, for the
English. So I think I’m very like McDonalds; the morning, lots of old people
they just relax, take the breakfast, drink coffee, and talk the news and
somebody else, I don’t know. That’s first time for me, English for me, I think
its go out is easy, you just go some store, restaurant, or Home Depot.
Researcher: Tell me about that.
Learner: First time I call the Home Depot, not call “Home Depot,” I call the
“Home People.”
Researcher: Why did you call it that?
Learner: I don’t know. Because that time I don’t know English. So for me it’s
“Home People.”
Researcher: What kind of people did you meet at Home Depot?
Learner: OK, the Home Depot is very good for me because if I go in, I need
something. I just say, call anybody, “I need a help.” And they’re very happy
to help me. First time we need fix my house everything we need find in
Home Depot. And I very easy find it. My English so bad but they very happy
help me, and I use my body language and show them I need what is it, what is
it, and they just very quick help me. And if you can’t understand, you just
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“what is it?” They teaching you what you. . . is this product. That’s very, for
me is happy in the United States, Home Depot and McDonalds.
Researcher: What do you mean by body language? Are you pointing?
Learner: Yeah, pointing or show something. . . like that.
Researcher: Are you afraid to make mistakes in English?
Learner: Yeah, everywhere.
Researcher: Tell me more about that. How does that effect you?
Learner: OK, If I going to store and buy something, but I can’t spell right and
they don’t know what is it. Ok, how about the nickel? OK, I buy the jewelry.
But I can’t say “nickel?” So they “what is that?”
Researcher: You’re pointing at your neck, do you mean “necklace”?
Learner: Yeah, but I spell wrong, but I use my body language (pointing at
neckline). “I want this one” and they show me, how about this?
Researcher: So you’re pretty good at solving some of those problems, but
you’re not satisfied with your English ability, and you don’t like to make
mistakes?
Learner: So, if, for me, if not right English I can’t say. . . I just stop.
Her love of gardening gave her a happy outlet for frustration and the lack of social
exchange and eventually led her to productive interactions. One of her more
charming slips in her new language was in referring to the home improvement store
Home Depot as Home People. Not knowing the word, depot, she more immediately
lit on the idea of the similar sounding word, people, as she thought of the people at
the store who always helped her find what she was looking for, despite her poor
English and lack of confidence in speaking it.
After reaching eventual familiarity with frequently visited supermarkets and
shops, she grew comfortable with the kind of stores where customer assistance was
most readily forthcoming. These interactions in the target language were safe and
provided practical learning; even if she could not retain what she had heard for as
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long as it took to drive home, the value was in the interaction. It had always been that
way for Ching. Nothing was ever as important as the interaction, the acceptance, the
sharing, the connection. She desired more social interaction but still did not have the
English language skills for her limited English interaction to be consistently fulfilling.
For Ching, the longer she lived in the U.S., the more Taiwanese and Chinese
speaking people she met. Her favorite socializing was when she could get together
with Taiwanese and Chinese speaking friends, eat home style Taiwanese and Chinese
foods and carry on in the manner they would were they at home, reveling in a hot and
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