Games People Play The Psychology of Human Relationships by Eric Berne (z-lib.org)
Antithesis . As is well known, "Alcoholic" is usually played hard and is difficult to give up. In one
case a female alcoholic in a therapy group participated very little until she thought she knew
enough about the other members to go ahead with her game. She then asked them to tell her what
they thought of her. Since she had behaved pleasantly enough, various members said nice things
about her, but she protested: "That's not what I want. I want to know what you really think." She
made it clear that she was seeking derogatory comments. The other women refused to persecute her,
whereupon she went home and told her husband that if she took another drink, he must either
divorce her or send her to a hospital. He promised to do this, and that evening she became
intoxicated and he sent her to a sanitarium. Here the other members refused to play the persecutory
roles White assigned to them; she was unable to tolerate this antithetical behavior, in spite of
everyone's efforts to reinforce whatever insight she had already obtained. At home she found
someone who was willing to play the role she demanded.
In other cases, however, it appears possible to prepare the patient sufficiently so that the game can
be given up, and to attempt a true social cure in which the therapist declines to play either
Persecutor or Rescuer. It is equally untherapeutic for him to play the role of Patsy by allowing the
patient to forego his financial and punctuality obligations. The correct therapeutic procedure from a
transactional point of view is, after careful preliminary groundwork, to take an Adult contractual
position and refuse to play any of the roles, hoping that the patient will be able to tolerate not only
abstinence from drinking but also from playing his game. If he cannot, he is best referred to a
Rescuer.
Antithesis is particularly difficult, because the heavy drinker is highly regarded in most Western
countries as a desirable object for censure, concern or generosity, and someone who refuses to play
any of these roles tends to arouse public indignation. A rational approach may be even more
alarming to the Rescuers than to the Alcoholic, sometimes with unfortunate consequences to the
therapy. In one clinical situation a group of workers were seriously interested in the game
"Alcoholic" and were attempting to effect real cures by breaking up the game rather than merely
rescuing the patients. As soon as this became apparent, they were frozen out by the lay committee
which was backing the clinic, and none of them was ever again called on to assist in treating these
patients.