George Bernard Shaw a penn State Electronic Classics Series Publication



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Bernard Shaw - Pygmalion

The sergeant rushes to the rescue from one side, the soldiers from
the other. They seize Richard and drag him back to his place.
Swindon, who has been thrown supine on the table, rises, ar-
ranging his stock. He is about to speak, when he is anticipated
by Burgoyne, who has just appeared at the door with two papers
in his hand: a white letter and a blue dispatch.
BURGOYNE 
(advancing to the table, elaborately cool). What
is this? What’s happening? Mr. Anderson: I’m astonished at
you.


60
The Devil’s Disciple
RICHARD
. I am sorry I disturbed you, General. I merely
wanted to strangle your understrapper there. (Breaking out
violently at Swindon) Why do you raise the devil in me by
bullying the woman like that? You oatmeal faced dog, I’d
twist your cursed head off with the greatest satisfaction. (He
puts out his hands to the sergeant) Here: handcuff me, will
you; or I’ll not undertake to keep my fingers off him.
The sergeant takes out a pair of handcuffs and looks to Burgoyne
for instructions.
BURGOYNE
. Have you addressed profane language to the
lady, Major Swindon?
SWINDON 
(very angry). No, sir, certainly not. That ques-
tion should not have been put to me. I ordered the woman
to be removed, as she was disorderly; and the fellow sprang
at me. Put away those handcuffs. I am perfectly able to take
care of myself.
RICHARD
. Now you talk like a man, I have no quarrel
with you.
BURGOYNE
. Mr. Anderson—
SWINDON
. His name is Dudgeon, sir, Richard Dudgeon.
He is an impostor.
BURGOYNE 
(brusquely). Nonsense, sir; you hanged Dud-
geon at Springtown.
RICHARD
. It was my uncle, General.
BURGOYNE
. Oh, your uncle. (To Swindon, handsomely) I
beg your pardon, Major Swindon. (Swindon acknowledges
the apology stiffly. Burgoyne turns to Richard) We are some-
what unfortunate in our relations with your family. Well,
Mr. Dudgeon, what I wanted to ask you is this: Who is (read-
ing the name from the letter) William Maindeck Parshotter?
RICHARD
. He is the Mayor of Springtown.
BURGOYNE
. Is William—Maindeck and so on—a man of
his word?
RICHARD
. Is he selling you anything?
BURGOYNE
. No.
RICHARD
. Then you may depend on him.
BURGOYNE
. Thank you, Mr.—’m Dudgeon. By the way,
since you are not Mr. Anderson, do we still—eh, Major
Swindon? (meaning “do we still hang him?”)


61
GB Shaw
RICHARD
. The arrangements are unaltered, General.
BURGOYNE
. Ah, indeed. I am sorry. Good morning, Mr.
Dudgeon. Good morning, madam.
RICHARD 
(interrupting Judith almost fiercely as she is about
to make some wild appeal, and taking her arm resolutely). Not
one word more. Come.
She looks imploringly at him, but is overborne by his determi-
nation. They are marched out by the four soldiers: the sergeant,
very sulky, walking between Swindon and Richard, whom he
watches as if he were a dangerous animal.
BURGOYNE
. Gentlemen: we need not detain you. Major
Swindon: a word with you. (The officers go out. Burgoyne waits
with unruffled serenity until the last of them disappears. Then
he becomes very grave, and addresses Swindon for the first time
without his title.) Swindon: do you know what this is (show-
ing him the letter)?
SWINDON
. What?
BURGOYNE
. A demand for a safe-conduct for an officer of
their militia to come here and arrange terms with us.
SWINDON
. Oh, they are giving in.
BURGOYNE
. They add that they are sending the man who
raised Springtown last night and drove us out; so that we
may know that we are dealing with an officer of importance.
SWINDON
. Pooh!
BURGOYNE
. He will be fully empowered to arrange the
terms of—guess what.
SWINDON
. Their surrender, I hope.
BUGOYNE
. No: our evacuation of the town. They offer us
just six hours to clear out.
SWINDON
. What monstrous impudence!
BURGOYNE
. What shall we do, eh?
SWINDON
. March on Springtown and strike a decisive
blow at once.
BURGOYNE 
(quietly). Hm! (Turning to the door) Come to
the adjutant’s office.
SWINDON
. What for?
BQRGOYNE
. To write out that safe-conduct. (He puts his


62
The Devil’s Disciple

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