62
Heartbreak House
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
.
Do you suppose that at my age I
make distinctions between one fellow creature and another?
[
He goes out. Mangan and the newcomer stare at one another].
MANGAN
. Strange character, Captain Shotover, sir.
THE GENTLEMAN
. Very.
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
[
shouting outside]. Hesione, another
person has arrived and wants a room. Man about town, well
dressed, fifty.
THE GENTLEMAN
. Fancy Hesione’s feelings! May I ask
are you a member of the family?
MANGAN
. No.
THE GENTLEMAN
. I am. At least a connection.
Mrs Hushabye comes back.
MRS HUSHABYE
. How do you do? How good of you to
come!
THE GENTLEMAN
. I am very glad indeed to make your
acquaintance, Hesione. [
Instead of taking her hand he kisses
her. At the same moment the captain appears in the doorway].
You will excuse my kissing your daughter, Captain, when I
tell you that—
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Stuff! Everyone kisses my daugh-
ter. Kiss her as much as you like [
he makes for the pantry].
THE GENTLEMAN
. Thank you. One moment, Captain.
[
The captain halts and turns. The gentleman goes to him affa-
bly]. Do you happen to remember but probably you don’t,
as it occurred many years ago—that your younger daughter
married a numskull?
CAPTAIN SHOTOVER
. Yes. She said she’d marry anybody
to get away from this house. I should not have recognized
you: your head is no longer like a walnut. Your aspect is
softened. You have been boiled in bread and milk for years
and years, like other married men. Poor devil! [
He disappears
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