Curl up in a comfy chair at your public
library and read up about pregnancy,
motherhood and birth.
Write a letter to your unborn child,
pouring out your inner thoughts and
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feelings.
Start collecting baby clothes, books, toys
or other fun items.
Ask the doctor to let you hear your
baby‘s heartbeat.
Begin creating your baby's nursery,
whether she has her own room or a just
a corner of yours.
Buy some pretty maternity clothing and
wear it with pride.
Enjoy it when you first start to feel her
move inside her.
Talk to your unborn child so she learns
to recognize your voice. For more on the
fetus‘ hearing see
Reason #55
.
Pray for her now — don‘t wait till birth
to bless her.
Join an online group for mothers to be
and share your excitement with others.
Why rock a baby?
Babies often like to be rocked to sleep or
just soothed. Perhaps this reminds them
of the gentle jolting movements they
experienced in the womb.
619
Get
yourself a rocking chair and soothing
music and enjoy some quiet time
together now.
Through the rest of this Reason
we are
going to look at some more ways in which
you can be close, as well as participate in
your baby's development before birth —
now that‘s a nice idea!
Feed your child‘s emotional
development
As mother, you play a big role in teaching
and guiding you child after birth, but in
some ways you play a bigger role
beforehand. This is because before birth
you can not only talk to your child, you can
chemically communicate love and happy
feelings directly to your child‘s growing
brain.
620
—Dr. Frederick Wirth,
Prenatal Parenting
haring happy emotions is no longer
some mythical, make-believe concept.
It's real and it can be practiced by you
right now today!
―How is this possible,‖ you ask? ―I'm not
superhuman.‖ Perhaps not, but your body
is. Let‘s look at how this is possible.
Every feeling has a corresponding
chemical and, when you experience an
emotion, that chemical is released in your
body. Hormones are one substance that can
cross the placental barrier and, as these
hormones
flow
into
your
baby's
bloodstream, they recreate in her body
what is going on in your body. For
example, that could be the low blood
pressure of relaxation or the pumping
excitement of adrenaline. In that way your
baby actually feels excitement or relaxation
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along with you.
I'd like to share with you now two
fictional examples of how the unborn child
can learn from your emotions, so that you
can be a positive influence.
In the first example from
Prenatal
Parenting,
the unborn child hears her
father and mother talking and laughing
about a happy incident that they both
enjoyed. As the fetus hears this with his
ears he physically experiences the same
chemicals that were produced by his
mother‘s emotions. In this case it was
happiness, and he feels good about the
whole experience.
In the second example the father and
mother do not get along so well and they
are arguing and he is laughing and
ridiculing her. As the fetus hears this he
physically
experiences
his
mother‘s
hormones and other chemical messengers.
In this case he feels anger and rejection.
621
Often these scenes repeat themselves again
and again and again during the nine
months — and hopefully it‘s the good ones
that are repeated!
Now try to imagine after birth as the
baby hears her father‘s laugh. Will she be
preconditioned to associate that sound as a
happy sound or a bad one? Of course, we
can‘t always control your surroundings, but
we can control our reactions to them.
Remember that we are talking about
trends and constant feelings, not passing
moments. Note also that you don‘t have to
have a happy life to send positive messages
to your child — your reaction and response
to events is what he learns. (Of course, I do
hope you all have wonderful, happy lives!)
If you think about it, it‘s a pretty
amazing time. At no other time in your life
will you be able to actually share the
chemical messages of another person.
Babies and mothers do this. They are as
close as close can be, while still being
individuals, which I guess is the amazing
part.
Provide a stimulating
environment for your child‘s
brain
Folklorists claim an infant can learn even
before birth and can assimilate aspects of
the environment before any direct contact
with that environment. Such a proposal can
be tested, has been tested, and the
folklorists are turning out to be correct.
622
—Dr. Richard Restak,
The Infant Mind
hile babies are born with an
incredible learning capacity the
saying, ―if you don‘t use it you
lose it,‖ is especially true for the babies:
―While the human baby is born with
literally trillions of unprogrammed circuits
just waiting to be stimulated into great
poetry or science or music, there is the
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reality that for many key capacities, circuits
not used may die.‖
623
This makes sense when you consider
that children who have a stimulating
environment are frequently brighter than
those who are neglected. Just compare the
poor orphan baby that lies alone in his crib
with minimal interaction and no affection.
He is slow, unused to affection, and his eyes
are not quick to follow you. Contrast this
with the bright-eyed baby who spends his
time crawling around the floor chasing
mommy and reading books on her lap.
But what are the implications of this for
your yet unborn child? Is there anything
you can do now, before birth? While this is
still a very new area of research we do have
some useful information. Studies have
found that babies who were interacted with
in the womb tend to develop earlier and be
ahead of their age counterparts.
624
Children‘s brains grow a huge amount
before birth.
At 20 weeks your baby‘s brain
cells are multiplying at 250,000 times a
minute.
625
His brain will produce twice the
amount of brain cells that he needs. What
happens to all the rest? According to
Babycare Before Birth
, ―The excess that are
not stimulated won‘t connect and will die.
This is a natural process that happens at
around eight months, so don‘t wait until
your baby is born to start maximizing its
potential brain power — the more
connections there are, the fewer the
number of brain cells that will die.‖
626
Did you know?
-There are critical periods for the
development of your child‘s brain before
birth and soon after when the neurons
or
brain
cells
are
developing
connections.
627
-You have the maximum capacity to
learn new things from about a 6 month
old fetus until about 2 years old.
628
What can you do to provide a
stimulating environment for your child's
brain? Talk, read, or sing. Just as newborns
prefer the voice they‘ve heard most clearly
for 9 months, so the fetus shows a
preference for her mother‘s voice. Your
fetus‘ heart rate slows down when she hears
your voice indicating that she is calmed by
it.
629
Hearing speech can actually assist his
brain development. Dr. Wirth wrote so
poetically: ―Words are like little carpenters
that enter the brain and build the centers
dedicated to receptive and expressive
language.‖
630
Whether or not she can hear
you yet, you can still talk to the soul of
your child which is present at conception.
Do you remember reading earlier how
babies of deaf mothers sound different?
Your child is listening to you and learning
241
even before birth.
Focus on positive, happy
pictures and sounds
hinking on good things (Phil 4:8).
It's good advice for anyone, at any
time. But it may be so especially for
pregnant women. Greeks and Romans often
had their pregnant women look at beautiful
statues and listen to classical music. They
did this because they thought such things
would be impressed upon the mother and
subsequently the child. The concept is
ancient and was more recently voiced by
painter and visionary Leonardo da Vinci:
―The things desired by the mother are often
found impressed on the child which the
mother carries at the time of the desire.‖
631
In my research I found another source
of this idea in Jewish teachings. Some
Jewish rabbis encourage mothers to be
spiritual in order to pass on those qualities
to
their
child.
632
One
website,
JewishMom.com, encourages a woman to
consider how she may influence her child:
―A contemporary leader of Breslov
Chassidim has said that pregnant women
must bear in mind how their thoughts,
emotions, and actions influence the
children that they carry…The fetus is a
living part of her, and all that she sees,
does, feels, and thinks during pregnancy
has an effect on the adult this baby will
grow to be.‖
633
The website also makes suggestions
regarding emotional health:
―Jewish tradition encourages pregnant
women to zealously guard their upbeat
outlooks and positive perspectives by
avoiding situations that will bring them
down emotionally — such as listening to
slander, gossip and crude talk. Other no-
noes are becoming angry, and looking at
scary things (sorry to all the horror movie
fans out there).‖
634
The website goes on to cite a study
where optimistic mothers had fewer
pregnancy problems than pessimistic ones.
Moving on now to a useful tool for
uplifting your attitude as well as
stimulating your baby's brain. Yes, it‘s
music. Certain types of classical music are
known to influence brain wave patterns,
putting you and by effect, your baby, into a
relaxed or focused state. Recommended
music includes certain pieces by Mozart,
Beethoven and Bach. What is not very well
known is that music has a physical effect
upon your body and is capable of reducing
stress hormones. Perhaps you have heard of
the Mozart effect or seen the CDs they sell
for babies? It‘s based on the idea that rats
who were exposed to Mozart were better at
navigating mazes.
635
Human studies —
including a pen and paper maze — seem to
back up the idea with students performing
better with spatial tests after listening to
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the music.
636
In summary, many different sources
suggest this same idea, that what we
surround ourselves with during pregnancy
will influence ourselves and, in turn, our
baby. With today‘s understanding of the
connection
between
emotions
and
hormones, we are starting to see how a
mother may leave impressions on her
growing child. While science may not be
able to prove the benefits of focusing on
positive things, it certainly can‘t hurt to try.
A beginner‘s list of beautiful
images...
a dew kissed rose
a morning sunrise
a perfect wave
an Autumn leaf
a pretty shell
a sparkling diamond
a spiral galaxy
a babbling brook
a child's smiling face
What else can you add to the list?
Reason #54
―Why abort your child when
you could bond with her and
assist her mental, emotional and
spiritual development instead?‖
Reason #55
Your unborn child
can feel, taste, smell,
hear and see
Touch
aby massage is becoming a popular
tool
for
bonding
and
brain
development, but did you know that
it begins in the womb? As the fetus grows
she is surrounded, caressed and sometimes
jostled by the walls of your uterus as you
move around. As early as 6 weeks into your
pregnancy — around the time you may be
wondering about that missed period —
your uterus is already creating gentle
contractions.
637
These fake contractions
prepare your body for birth, but they also
stimulate your baby‘s nervous system to
help it start working properly.
638
However,
you won‘t notice any contractions until
later on, much closer to birth.
It‘s been shown that when an 8.5 week
old embryo is touched on the side of her
mouth with a fine hair, she will turn her
head in the opposite direction and open her
mouth.
639
After birth, when you touch a
newborn on the side of her mouth, she will
also turn her head and open her mouth for
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feeding — this time in the correct
direction, towards you.
640
Although it
seems the embryo was still developing the
brain connections about which side to turn
to, how amazing to see this behavior at
such an early age when most people are still
being told their pregnancy is merely
‗tissue‘. (This date is probably a lot sooner,
as at 12½ weeks a slightly different
experiment showed the fetus turning to the
same side.)
641
It‘s hard to believe that she is
less than 1 inch long at this stage! Life is
truly a miracle.
MedicineNet.com
publishes
health
articles written by qualified medical
doctors. One of their articles, ―What‘s it
like in the womb?‖ explains, ―Your baby's
sense of touch begins to develop early in
pregnancy as it explores the uterine wall,
umbilical cord and even its own body parts,
spending the most time touching its
face.‖
642
To find out about pain sensitivity, turn
to
Reason #53: The fetus can feel pain
.
Did you know?
Babies are practicing movement long
before they are born.
Movement also involves a sense of
touch, so let‘s talk about that also. As with
learning anything new, moving is no
exception. Early movements are generally
uncoordinated and instinctual. At first the
embryo makes the smallest of movements
from 7½ weeks.
643
An older embryo at only
8½ weeks will move his arm and shoulder
and flex his back to push away a fine hair
that touches his cheek.
644
Listen to this — it has to be one of the
most amazing things I‘ve seen yet: at 11
and 12 weeks the fetus starts preparing to
walk — well, alright, sort of. Three and
four dimensional scans show him practicing
what is called the stepping reflex, also seen
in newborns. When he stretches out his
foot it touches the side of the uterus and
the nerve cells in his leg signal to contract.
He pushes back and because he is still so
small and in such a buoyant water
environment he quite literally bounces off
your walls!
645
It‘s not certain what the
purpose of this movement is, but it does
help him move in the womb and press
himself out at birth.
646
Perhaps it also
develops the memory of walking as a
survival skill, so that when he is ready he
will know what to do.
647
Why can‘t you feel your baby‘s very
early movements? The uterus, like all
internal organs, is not sensitive to touch.
648
So what are you really feeling when you
feel that first movement? It‘s actually the
nerves outside of your uterus, in your
abdominal wall, i.e., your belly, that pick
up that movement. You won‘t feel your
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baby until he is bigger and stronger, around
18-20 weeks in a first-time pregnancy.
649
The Expert Speaks
―By fifteen weeks, sixteen distinct
movement patterns occur with varying
regularity: just discernible movements;
startle; general movements involving
the whole body; hiccupping; breathing;
isolated arm or leg movements; isolated
movements of the head backward, to the
side and forward; jaw movements;
sucking and swallowing; hand-to-face
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