How to Be Confident?

Set Realistic Goals
Pursuing your goals often involves failing several times until you figure out what works. This can make you wonder if you have what it takes to succeed. It can also leave you questioning how to be more confident while still achieving your dreams. The answer lies in setting realistic goals.
Setting high-reaching goals and failing to achieve them has been found to damage confidence levels.16 Conversely, realistic goals are achievable. And the more you achieve your goals, the greater your confidence in yourself and your abilities.
To set realistic goals, write down what you want to achieve. Next, ask yourself what chance you have of attaining it. (Be honest!) If the answer is slim to none, the goal may be a bit too lofty. Dial it back so it is more realistic and more achievable.
This may require doing a bit of research on your part. For instance, if you have a goal to lose weight, experts recommend losing one to two pounds per week for healthy, long-term weight loss.17 Knowing this helps you set a goal in line with this guideline, boosting your self-confidence when you hit it.
Press Play for Advice on Confidence
Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares strategies that can help you learn to truly believe in yourself, featuring IT Cosmetics founder Jamie Kern Lima. Click below to listen now.

Confidence vs. Insecurity
When learning how to be more confident, it can be helpful to understand how someone with self-confidence is different from someone who is more insecure. Here are just some of the differences between the two.
Confident People
Celebrate other people's success
Open-minded
Optimistic
Willing to take risks
Laugh at themselves
Decisive
Always learning and growing
Admit mistakes
Accept responsibility
Insecure People
Judge and are jealous of others
Close-minded
Pessimistic
Afraid of change
Hide flaws
Indecisive
Act like a know-it-all
Make excuses
Blame others
Benefits of Confidence
Being confident in yourself just feels good. That said, having self-confidence can also bring many additional benefits at home, at work, and within your relationships. Here's a look at a few of the positive effects of learning how to be confident:
Better performance: Rather than waste time and energy worrying that you aren't good enough, you can devote your energy to your efforts. Ultimately, you'll perform better when you have more self-confidence.18
Healthier relationships: Having self-confidence not only impacts how you feel about yourself, but it helps you better understand and love others. It also gives you the strength to walk away from a relationship if you're not getting what you want or deserve.
Openness to try new things: When you believe in yourself, you're more willing to try new things. Whether you apply for a promotion or sign up for a cooking class, putting yourself out there is a lot easier when you have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Resilience: Believing in yourself can enhance your resilience or ability to bounce back from any challenges or adversities you face in life.
Recap
Learning how to be more confident can have a range of positive effects on your life. In addition to helping you feel better about yourself and your abilities, self-confidence can make your relationships stronger and make you more resilient to stress.
A Word From Verywell
Everyone struggles with confidence issues at one time or another. Fortunately, there are several things that you can do to boost self-confidence. In many cases, learning how to act confident can actually help you feel more confident.
Sometimes low self-confidence is a sign of a mental health condition such as depression or anxiety. If your self-confidence interferes with your work, social life, or education, consider talking to a mental health professional. A therapist can help you better understand the issue, recommend treatment, and work with you to develop skills to build your self-confidence.
Simply Believing You Can Improve Your Mental Well-Being Goes a Long Way
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
How can you be more socially confident?
If your confidence tends to lag in social situations, try to change your perspective. Instead of looking at group interactions as a stressor, view them as an opportunity to work on building your self-confidence. Taking someone with you who makes you feel confident can also give you the self-belief needed to feel more comfortable around groups of people.
Creating the social event yourself may help as well because you will know what to expect and have some level of control. If social situations cause you great anxiety along with reduced self-confidence, talking to a mental health professional can help.
Learn More: An Overview of Social Anxiety
How can you be more confident in a relationship?
One way to develop self-confidence in a relationship is to recognize your worth. When you know the value you bring to others, it helps you feel more confident in yourself. It can also be helpful to stay in the present and not worry about the past or the future.
If your lack of confidence in relationships is due to a fear of being rejected, remember that not everyone is compatible. Just as you might not be for them, they might also not be for you—it's nothing personal.
Learn More: Fear of Rejection and Its Consequences
How can you be more confident at work?
If your lack of confidence in the workplace is tied to concerns about your performance, check in regularly with a superior to see how you're doing. Ask for feedback about areas where you can improve, then work on them to feel more confident in your duties.
It can also be helpful to consider where you excel at work and perform these activities as often as possible. If you do make a mistake, admit it, learn from it, and move on. No one is perfect, so you shouldn't expect yourself to be either.
Learn More: 6 Ways to Feel Better About Your Job
How can you be more confident about your body?
If your self-confidence is tied to your physical appearance, developing a more positive body image can help. Instead of focusing on areas of your body that you dislike, spend more time appreciating the areas you feel good about.
Another tip for how to become more confident is to not compare your body to anyone else's. No two bodies are the same and each has its own strengths. Remember that there is room in this world for people of all shapes and sizes.

1^ American Psychological Association. Self-confidence.

2^ Perry P. Concept analysis: Confidence/self-confidence. Nurs Forum. 2011;46(4):218-30. doi:10.1111/j.1744-6198.2011.00230.x